Why can NT kids get away with cursing and I cant!!

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ProfessaM
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14 Sep 2010, 2:04 am

Seriously at my school I always hear students swearing, even in class. And about three quaters of the time they get away with it! Where as my intergration aide reprimands me even if I just use "bloody" or "I'm pissed off" Not only that. Socially, I can't even get away with it! It's considered socially unacceptable for me by many of my peers. Once I said it and they made a huge deal out of it. The other day in my class I called a guy "douche" and I was told off for it. He though gets heard by the teacher calling kids worse names like "dickhead" and "dumbarse" and half the time or even more she says nothing to him! This is ridiculously unfair and irrational. How other kids have an advantage of me when it comes to "watching my language" Many people who even call other people names like that have the person saying nothing back!



Dilbert
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14 Sep 2010, 2:17 am

It could be your social skills. People who are in one's social circle are allowed to get away with more than the outsiders?

It could also be just your perception. Other kids get in trouble too, but you don't get to see that. You only see yourself getting in trouble.

It is most likely a combination of both.

I'm not sure what to tell you other than to not worry about it. What are they going to do? Expel you from school?! Hardly! So they hold no power over you, really, unless you screw up big. Let them talk. Just be yourself and learn to worry less about what other people think of you.



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14 Sep 2010, 2:25 am

If you want to cuss and get away with it, stop caring about what other people think.

And careful with your usage. Occasional "bloody" or "douche" is fine, but when you're throwing around cuss words like there's no tomorrow (and especially if you're in your teens or early 20s), it only gives the impression that you're a badass-wannabe. Do yourself a favor and do not allow that to happen. :idea:



buryuntime
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14 Sep 2010, 3:27 am

They're just picking on you. Your language might also be unusual or you aren't using the words naturally. Also, you're probably missing some rules. I'd imagine calling someone a curse word to their face is a lot different than joking around in a social circle about people that aren't even around which is probably what is happening with the others. But I would go with them teasing you.



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14 Sep 2010, 5:27 am

Bullies are better at lying and the teacher don't care if they do it. They feel its better that the bully is messing with you and not them. I use to think I was the fresh bit of meat that the teachers used to keep the wolves from getting them. I had a teacher witness a kid hit me in the head with an open hand slap and she didn't do nothing so when I drew back to smack the kid back she lunged foward to stop me causing her to fall over a desk and I was the one who got in trouble and I did not lay a hand on anyone. :roll: Its all of them versus you, deal with it. Trust me it will not get any better at college or on the job if you do not stand up for yourself. I always walked into things knowing I was going to get the dirty end of any deal so I would just say screw it and do it anyways knowing full well I will be damned if I do damned if I don't.. :wink:


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14 Sep 2010, 6:26 am

Do you say much?

Because when a kid who doesn't say much comes out with a swear word suddenly it seems like they're losing the plot, I know it seems unfair but it stands out because it's not your usual behaviour.

If some ADD brat swears and yells all the time people will stop noticing it because its normal for him.

I'll give you me as an example.. I never said much in school, never spoke back etc.. but if I had, people would have gaped at me in shock and it would have been very noticable.



AngelRho
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14 Sep 2010, 7:23 am

Cussin' is a bad habit, anyway. Personally, I think you're a better person for being corrected on it.

I went through the same kind of thing when I was in school, btw. Everyone else can use ugly language, but when I do it, the whole world is about to fall apart. People come out of the woodwork to shut you up when that happens.

Honestly, I think people are intrinsically alert that it's just not proper. I started using that to my advantage. Now, if it's just me and my wife, I'll say pretty much whatever I feel like saying, cuss words and all. The problem is with my own kids. We obviously would rather they not pick up on that kind of language at all. So we RARELY cuss around them. If you are a parent, you CAN'T cuss around your own kids because they'll pick up on that FAST and call you a hypocrite, and rightfully so. We've really cleaned up our mouths since our own children started talking.

And that means that we have to watch ourselves around other people, too. What's funny about that is other people who normally cuss start to notice really fast that you don't. So they'll stop cussin' around you. You'll notice that kind of thing as you get older. By setting that kind of example, what you do actually does influence other people in a positive way.

I think cussing is often misused as venting or stress relief. The problem, though, is that studies have shown that acting aggressively to "let off steam" more often and more likely AGGRAVATES the underlying emotions rather than easing them. So the more you encourage people around to "just deal" with (inward) emotions, the more you're doing them a favor--even if you take a passive role in it.

I'm 32 years old, just so you know, and I've noticed at my age a huge difference in how most adults relate to each other as opposed to the same behaviors in teenagers. We have a neighbor who can't say three words without one of them being foul language. I'm not really crazy about LOUD people, either, and she's also the kind of person who stays drunk on the weekends. The two or three times my wife has hung out with her, she's come back puking. I really don't want someone like that around my family because of how quickly the poor influence spreads. As a matter of fact, I have outright said who my wife could or couldn't be around based on how she acted around those people or what she was like after hanging out with them. I'm not a dictator in my house by any means, but I will not tolerate any kind of destructive influence. For reasons I won't go into here, there are few people we can actually trust, but those few people are people we not only trust ourselves but also trust around our children. As such, our kids don't hear a lot of bad language even around other people!

I'm not suggesting you live the kind of life that makes you feel like you're constantly being beat down. I'm just saying that maybe in THIS case with using bad words you see what's happening as a good thing. For whatever reason, someone sees you as a good person and believes you should be held to a higher standard. In public, just go with it! This is not something that will hurt you.



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14 Sep 2010, 8:22 am

It's all about context and unwritten rules.



sgrannel
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14 Sep 2010, 10:47 am

If you swear when the teacher is around and they only swear when the teacher is not around, then of course you'll get in trouble for it and they won't. That's one example of context. Also, you have an aide and they don't, which means you still don't get away with it even when the teacher is not around.



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14 Sep 2010, 11:51 am

As others have said, they're just picking on you and, frankly, being f**king stupid :P

This is posted in the wrong section, BTW.



mechanicalgirl39
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14 Sep 2010, 1:34 pm

Could be that because you have ASD, they expect you to be childish and innocent. Not a 'real' person.


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15 Sep 2010, 4:21 am

I agree with a lot of what's been said but I have another suggestion; watch the South Park movie if you haven't seen it. That show is famous for cursing & I started using a lot of bad language after I started watching it & my peers liked when I quoted stuff from it :wink: :twisted:

If anyone wants to learn how to curse; you need to chat with me on Yahoo because I can teach you :wink: I want to say something here but don't want to get in trouble with the mods for being insulting


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22 Jan 2011, 8:20 pm

I'd like to know why it's considered socially acceptable to rip on me and insult my race while if I were to do the same thing to someone else, it's considered extremely offensive.



Allstar
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22 Jan 2011, 9:46 pm

Dude, seriously! Get the hell out of that school!

When I was young, and brutalized I would tell the attendants what was happening. And yet, they somehow had the magic to turn the blame to me and I would get sent to the principal. Even in middle school all teachers thought I was a complete ret*d and not worth a second in their classrooms.

This all goes back to the topic of bigotry. Because we have a difference, we are seen as spiders that should be stomped, even by the authorities themselves.

I would look for a school where the word 'respect' would not be out of line.



Weiss_Yohji
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24 Jan 2011, 12:48 am

Those neurotypicals should realize that while their kind was blowing each other up in the period between World War 1 and the Vietnam War, we gave the world Albert Einstein, Temple Grandin, and Bill Gates. :P

Seriously, we need to get rid of taboos on all cuss words except for ethnic slurs. America needs to take lessons from Australia and Sweden. Even Canada is more liberal about this stuff!

If you speak with an Aussie, prepare to be called a bastard, experience a flood of blood, and be told you bugger animals. None of that will be meant as an insult in any way. (They're baffled that we Yanks consider "hell" and "damn" mild cuss words.)

As for Canada, they say "f**k" on TV without it being bleeped, and they can say "s**t" without it being a big event that has to be announced ahead of time.

Sweden? They say the WORST cuss words on TV shows and movies aimed at PRESCHOOLERS! Nobody over there raises a fuss!



nick007
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24 Jan 2011, 1:54 am

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
As for Canada, they say "f**k" on TV without it being bleeped, and they can say "sh**" without it being a big event that has to be announced ahead of time.

Really :? you cant say c__t there

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBWAjn2a3rA[/youtube]

You can learn quite a lot about bad language from listening to Kevin Bloody Wilson :P


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