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bigjessi
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 15 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 30

01 Oct 2010, 3:42 am

angelbear wrote:
Thanks Bigjess-

It seems we go for a week or two without any incidents and then it will happen. I have noticed a pattern of it happening when he is tired in the evenings. Also, it is true that if I scream at him (usually my first reaction if he is hitting or kicking me), it makes it worse. I like your method. I have been trying to do this, problem is he is getting too big for me to carry up the stairs! LOL! What I have tried is going up the stairs myself just to get out of his vicinity so that he can't do it. So far, he hasn't started with the verbal abuse!


Calm is the key here, though I know it isn't easy. It took me awhile to get there, but I finally got to where I could be calm during the encounter, and cry later to relieve the stress.

Yeah, it gets harder when they get bigger! It is usually better to remove the child, but in cases where you can't, then removing yourself is the next best thing. Another thing I do is talk to my DD when she is calm. Just kind of everyday conversation. I'll bring up hitting, for instance, and talk about the feelings of the victim- in essence teaching empathy.

My DD didn't really get into the verbal stuff until she was 8 or 9.