Isn't it 100% selfish of my parents to expect me to keep....

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ApsieGuy
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18 Sep 2010, 5:23 pm

So, if I get to the point where I decide I can't make my life decent..career.....thats it....I decided I am going to kill myself as I logically can't think of a way to be miserable for a whole lifetime.


Would it be selfish of my parents to expect me to live for a lifetime even if I was un-happy JUST for them



Uhura
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18 Sep 2010, 5:49 pm

You need to find a reason to live. I hope you will tell us more. I hope you will keep living and choose life.

Edit: Have you considered therapy?

Other things that are helpful are writing in journals, talking to someone close to you, and volunteering/serving ( a step in getting out of depression, yet not always the first one. Sometimes the others need to be done first).

Hang in there. Things will get better.



Last edited by Uhura on 18 Sep 2010, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bee33
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18 Sep 2010, 5:51 pm

You don't have to do it for them, do it for you. Yes, life is misery but if you look you can find some good crumbs along the way. Aren't you curious about what might be around the next corner? If your parents care about you, that's already a good start.



mechanicalgirl39
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18 Sep 2010, 6:10 pm

Yes.

It is.

They're considering themselves, not you.

That said. I hope you will start to feel better, and find that there are reasons to live.


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Spazzergasm
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18 Sep 2010, 6:35 pm

You're selfish for committing suicide.

You leave your loved ones alone, and sad, and feeling like they failed.
They also have to pay for your funeral.
They also have to pay for the cleanup of, and discover the horrible bloody mess you leave behind.
They have to do what needs to be done with all your possessions– and it's emotionally hard.
They have to settle legal issues, close all your accounts, inform people you're dead.
You are an investment. If you just kill yourself, you wasted 18 years of them caring and loving you for nothing.

Suicide is the selfish thing.



mechanicalgirl39
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18 Sep 2010, 6:45 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:
You're selfish for committing suicide.

You leave your loved ones alone, and sad, and feeling like they failed.
They also have to pay for your funeral.
They also have to pay for the cleanup of, and discover the horrible bloody mess you leave behind.
They have to do what needs to be done with all your possessions– and it's emotionally hard.
They have to settle legal issues, close all your accounts, inform people you're dead.
You are an investment. If you just kill yourself, you wasted 18 years of them caring and loving you for nothing.

Suicide is the selfish thing.


Yeah, never mind HIS problems.

It's all about the people around him who would rather demand that he continue suffering and shut up about it for THEIR emotional comfort.

Not that I am advocating suicide. I'm not. I'm attacking the attitude of 'Don't kill yourself in case you hurt ME and MY feelings!'


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League_Girl
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18 Sep 2010, 6:48 pm

I think committing suicide is a selfish act.



frag
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18 Sep 2010, 6:56 pm

While I DO try to stop suicides I can't really call people in pain selfish. I can't work that feeling up.

The reason I'm alive is that I think I suffer less than the spread out suffering I'd caused if I died.

What bugs me is people taking me for granted. Thanx for staying alive would be nice to hear sometimes.



mechanicalgirl39
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18 Sep 2010, 7:05 pm

I can't really bring myself to call someone selfish for taking their life out of sheer desperation.

It's not like people do it casually out of mild annoyance, you know.


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Spazzergasm
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18 Sep 2010, 7:44 pm

I don't doubt his problems. I've been very depressed. And still get depressed. I know what utter depression feels like, in all it's inglory.

But as a human it's your responsibility to work through your problems, suffer, and learn.

Killing yourself causes depression for more than one person. And the death of a family member isn't a kind of depression that goes away. I know people who are still depressed by a death that happened years ago in their family.

Use your brain. Which is better? Having one person depressed or more than one? It doesn't matter if YOU are feeling it. One is better than multiple.



leejosepho
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18 Sep 2010, 7:57 pm

ApsieGuy wrote:
Would it be selfish of my parents to expect me to live for a lifetime ... JUST for them

Yes, but I doubt you will ever be able to convince anyone they either are or even would ever actually do that.


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Sparrowrose
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18 Sep 2010, 7:57 pm

I can relate to what you say, Aspieguy. I'm not depressed and I won't kill myself because it's against my religious beliefs, but I feel like if I finish grad school and can't find a job anywhere I have no desire to keep going. I have lived on SSI (government disability payments) for the last 16 years and it's no life. For the last 6 years, I've had a little more money through student loans and I've been getting out of the house to go to school and I've realized just how horrible my life was for the previous 10 years. If I don't get a job when I graduate, I go back to how I lived before and I just can't keep living like that. But I can't kill myself. So I am out of options and just praying that I'm able to get a job when I graduate so I don't have to go back to that optionless hell.

I think people who don't want you to kill yourself are partially speaking out of selfishness -- they don't want to have to deal with all those things that Spazzergasm listed. But also they are full of hope for you -- hope that no matter how bad your life gets, it could still get better.

I feel like I'm on my last chance. I couldn't keep employment through my 20s and 30s. It was a stroke of luck that I got on SSI so I didn't have to live homeless any more, but without the supplement of student loans, I couldn't afford decent food and I was so sick from eating bad food before that I felt like I was dying. I won't go into great detail, but I couldn't raise my hands above my waist due to muscle pains. I was constantly nauseated, vomiting frequently, couldn't sleep - I was a wreck and all that went away when I was able to afford to eat decent food.

If I can't get a job after graduation, I go back to that miserable life and there isn't any hope for me. I've done everything I know how to do, including getting advanced university degrees.

But you are still young, Aspieguy, and still have a lot of chances ahead of you so I hope you won't be too fast to give up on everything. I can totally identify with feeling like if you can't get the career you're trying for you might as well just die because life won't be worth living. But I hope you will take the time to think it through and keep trying.

I'm not going to kill myself if I can't get my career going . . . but I know already that I will certainly be praying to just die. People who don't want you to die should pitch in and do what they can to help you get into that career. That, in my opinion, is the selfless way to respond.


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Who_Am_I
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18 Sep 2010, 8:27 pm

ApsieGuy wrote:
So, if I get to the point where I decide I can't make my life decent..career.....thats it....I decided I am going to kill myself as I logically can't think of a way to be miserable for a whole lifetime.


Would it be selfish of my parents to expect me to live for a lifetime even if I was un-happy JUST for them


Yes.


Quote:
But as a human it's your responsibility to work through your problems, suffer, and learn.


Why? Who wrote this Book of Human Responsibilities? What authority do they have to tell everyone what to do with their lives?


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Mike1
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18 Sep 2010, 8:32 pm

...



Last edited by Mike1 on 23 Sep 2010, 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Spazzergasm
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18 Sep 2010, 8:35 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
But as a human it's your responsibility to work through your problems, suffer, and learn.


Why? Who wrote this Book of Human Responsibilities? What authority do they have to tell everyone what to do with their lives?


It's my opinion. If you don't like it, feel free to disagree. But it's good writing skills to say things with confidence.



Who_Am_I
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18 Sep 2010, 8:55 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Quote:
But as a human it's your responsibility to work through your problems, suffer, and learn.


Why? Who wrote this Book of Human Responsibilities? What authority do they have to tell everyone what to do with their lives?


It's my opinion. If you don't like it, feel free to disagree. But it's good writing skills to say things with confidence.


Ah. I was confused by the fact that you stated it as though it were an absolute truth.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I