Aspies mistaken for sketchy, untrustworthy liars??? (Poll)

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Do you sometimes feel paranoid, like a criminal?
Yes, often. 34%  34%  [ 20 ]
Yes, sometimes. 45%  45%  [ 26 ]
No, never. 21%  21%  [ 12 ]
Total votes : 58

Dilbert
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20 Sep 2010, 12:26 pm

katzefrau wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
People on the spectrum should also be aware that police can legally lie to you, and even present you with fake "evidence" in order to try to make you confess. (Until I read that, I naively assumed cops couldn't lie to citizens.) They can also try bargaining tactics like, "confess to this lesser crime or else we'll charge you with this other one which has a much worse punishment" -- even if they couldn't really charge you with the worse crime.


what!? this is horrifying.


It is true. They lie all the time. Lots of cops see their jobs as closing cases, getting convictions, and extracting confessions. NOT finding out the truth. So if you place yourself in that mindset, you can see why they'd lie to a suspect that "looks good for the crime" in order to put them behind bars and close the case. Never mind that the person was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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ScottyN wrote:
To paint the police as being all corrupt bullies is unfair and innaccurate.


of course not all cops are bullies but it would be easy in that situation to abuse power so it's something to be aware of even if it's a minority of police that are power abusers. something potentially difficult for someone with AS to pick up on.

where i grew up a cop once picked up a woman for a minor offense and then intimidated her into performing sexual acts and was acquitted for it.


Not all are bullies. But about half are. My friend's husband is one of the good cops. He said he could watch a room full of cops and determine which ones are on the force to serve and protect, and which ones are in it for "the hunt" as he called it. Some cops, mostly young men, get off on the thrill of hunting for criminals, and the power trip that goes along with it. Of course, he felt comfortable telling ME that. He'd never call out the bad cops to their face, or do anything that might be construed as breaking the ranks.

Young ex-military men are very common in police ranks. They are the worst. There should be a higher minimum age requirement, and they should hire more women.



ninszot
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20 Sep 2010, 9:47 pm

I have had this directed at me many times.

When I was a child and they had me taking medications, some people made allowances for my behaviour as due to the medication - it was many years after I stopped taking medications that they figured out I am AS.

In between I have been accused of everything from disintrest to dishonesty to accusations that I might be a "crack whore" - sometimes people think I may be intoxicated if I seem distracted or my behaviour does not make sense to them.

The WORST is when I have been reffered to a speak with a service provider - because these are people you cannot avoid, and they treat me like I am lying about my medical issues (despite documentation) because they can't see anything wrong with the outside of me.



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21 Sep 2010, 12:33 am

I dont really have a problem looking shifty cause as my mom says, "you have such an innocent face."
My best friend says my eyes are very "readable"
But I can see where guys with AS would have a harder time with looking innocent cause when a woman is nervous and unsure and kinda akward...police think we are weaker and more "delicate" but if a man acts like that, he is "up to something"
Which is not fair, however, for legal purposes I think it would be best that all AS folks carried a laminated copy of a doctor's note stating that you have AS. If you are ever interogated, show that to them. Then ask for a lawyer, dont answer any questions because of your disability until they get you a lawyer. You have the right to do this...there is also an exception that if you are disabled and dont understand what is being said during interogation, that makes that "evidence" null and void. So even if you do understand them....pretend that you dont.


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21 Sep 2010, 12:49 am

I've been accused of lying quite a lot as a kid because I've always been nervous a lot & I don't explain things well sometimes. Aso the bullies were good at manipulating & they all stuck together & sense I had a history of behavior problems because of people not recognizing my AS; lots of people thought I was a lair. I also had a hard time discerning fantasy from reality & that didn't help


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21 Sep 2010, 1:14 am

thats hard...when it comes to bullies. You are best verbally filleting them worse than a fist ever thought of. Go for their emotional psychological jugilar vein and I promice they will think twice before messing with you again. Unless of course they are very physical agressive in their bullying, that might esclate things. You could get a very small video recorder and catch them doing things to you once you get enough crap on them and send it to your local news station. There is alot of media about bullying right now.


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21 Sep 2010, 1:22 am

I haven't' been bullied sense I was in school. There was physical stuff to. They'd hit me & when I hit em back I'd get in trouble for hitting em. My parents think I'm lying about things because I have a long history of being mistaken for lying. I can get away with lying in some situations when most people probably couldn't thou. One trick about lying is to let people think you are a worse liar then you actually are. That way when you need to come up with a lie & your good at it; they'll think your telling the truth :wink:


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21 Sep 2010, 2:03 am

hey thats pretty good. My sister has a good trick. She constantly talks about how important honesty is...expects others to be honest to a T. Is blatently honest about everything, whether you want to hear it or not and then people thinks she could never tell a lie, which she uses when she does want to lie.. and nobody questions her honesty.


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21 Sep 2010, 5:03 am

The reason that we're seen that way, is because of our poor eye-contact and squirmish body language. I feel that those cops should take sensitivity training.


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21 Sep 2010, 9:55 am

ThomasL wrote:
This is just extremely unfair, sad and discouraging. Thinking about this, I envy girls, little kids and old people, who at least don't fit the usual criminal profile (teenage guys and adult men).


So, are adult women "girls" or "old people"? Or did you just leave us out all together?

Personally, I'm long past girlhood and not yet and old person, and definitely female, and hoping you weren't calling women "girls".


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21 Sep 2010, 10:12 am

matt wrote:
By "looking to the left" do they mean the left of the person looking or the left of the person perceiving the looking of the other person?

And if you're pulled over in the United States how do you look at the officer without looking to your own left?

Or if you look to the officer's left, it will be directly ahead of you, which will be the natural direction for you to be facing.


I think they mean looking with ones eyes, NOT turning one's head. Head facing the officer, but eyes to the side.


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21 Sep 2010, 10:24 am

Chronos wrote:
I wanted to point out to them that there was absolutely nothing to indicate this but I just left and considered filing a complaint with management because emergency exits should be clearly marked and wheelchair accessible, and this one was neither marked nor accessible for those in wheelchairs.


No, emergency exits don't have to be wheelchair accessible, at least if they are from upper levels. Stairways are simply not wheelchair accessible. It's imperfect, but unless we are going to stop building buildings more than 2 stories tall, that's how it's going to be. (Elevators are not emergency exits, and I figure one floor above the ground is about the max for a ramp, if one were to build a ramp as an emergency exit.)

I agree they should be clearly marked.


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21 Sep 2010, 11:17 am

My experience with the general public is that I'm trusted, but with police, they most usually think I'm hiding something, and they hold me up for a half hour or more asking me questions trying to trip me up somehow. "So you live in Dallas?" I say
"yes; about 4 months of the year". They say "What's the cost of the Tollway if you get on at the 635 and get off at your exit?", and all that type of thing. Then they'll also ask loaded questions; such as "Why do you have a toolbag in the back seat?" I'll say "We own some apartments and rentals, and I do all the repairs". Then they say "That sounds like a fishy story". Come on, kid, which of these car break-ins are you up to? Just confess to one, and I'll see that you're let off easy". (Of course I've never committed a crime in my life; not even stealing an extra paper from a newspaper box). Once they can't find anything to arrest me for, they still truly believe that I'm Public Enemy #1, and have lied to them about everything, and they give me a ticket for something like dim tail light bulbs, or a nick in the windshield, etc.

Charles



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21 Sep 2010, 7:36 pm

I think some Aspies could have problems with cops because some of us appear to be drunk or on drugs when we aren't on em. If you get pulled over at a DUI or an insurance check-point & the cops are giving you a hard time; it's possible that the cops could be trying to do their job & are not trying to be mean or anything. I'm not saying it's right but the cops are supposed to arrest drunk drivers & illegal drug users.
One of my cousin's a cop(well he's married to my cousin but I get along with him better than the rest of my cousins) he does CSI stuff & he is one of the good ones but he has told me before that he's seen some good cops go bad cuz of the stress & other things


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14 Apr 2012, 2:14 am

In my life, I have had family, friends, teachers, cops, and just random acquaintances assume I was lying, up to no good, or a fake. I don't think it's just that we unintentionally produce the body language that people who are lying often do. I think it also has to do with the fact that most of us who were forced to have head on contact with the real world, like public school and college and even just home life, have a persona built up to "fit-in" with typical people. And we stay in that persona when we are around people. So in essence we are acting. And "acting is the biggest lie of all."

So basically the whole time we are in that persona we are hoping not to get caught, and that sends up a red flag because people think we are hoping not to get caught lying. And no matter how good you get it almost always seems like an "act," and often people misinterpret us a phony, shady, and untrustworthy because of it. I am 28 now, and can remember billions of times where I've run into this. From a dentists miscommunication with the pharmacist making me look like a drug seeker. To being set-up for punishment at school by other kids. And I've had my share of cops who think I'm up to no good. And they even get mad when they find out my record is clean. "STOP ACTING SUSPICIOUS" as he walks away.

Umm...ok cool. So the last time my inspection was out, I got pulled over and had proof I had 30 days to fix my car and reinspect. I show the proof and get "ah ok that's good. do you mind if I search your car?" um....why? which turned into him hassling me about my answer and trying to get in my head. So I told him my record is clean, he runs it, comes back shaking his head and laughing, and says "just so you know your answer to me searching your car sent up a red flag." to which I replied. "Sir, I'm autistic...everything I say is going to send up a red flag."