How am I supposed to react to attraction?

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So I recently realized something really shameful, shameful on so many, many levels. When I feel attracted to someone, whether it's just physical attraction or actual romantic interest, I end up teasing and bothering her in the most infantile way possible. I'm 23, and I just painfully realized that I don't know how am I supposed to react to attraction. What do?

ok, as the cliche goes; the first step is realising you have a problem. Fixing it won't come overnight, but from now on, every time you become aware of when you're being a jerk, just stop, or if it's too late, say sorry afterwards.

It depends on how you're acting though. Some girls find the 'cheeky' act charming (so long as it's not too gross/personal).

Don't know what you're doing... but its not necessarily a bad thing...

I sort of do the same thing (but I'm a girl... so what may be amusing/cute for a girl to do is not necessarily the same for a guy :X oh our fickle world)

I don't even notice I do it until long after... but I really enjoy teasing people... happens a lot with ppl I like subconciously. Like taking things of theirs hostage and what not... don't know, I know its childish, but its SO MUCH FUN!! !! !! !! !! !

So maybe you'll find someone who enjoys it (because my friends don't particularly mind, and think they enjoy/areamused by it more than merely tolerating xD)

My dad also teases my mom a lot... nonstop, and she's still with him, so can't be all bad!

Part bump and part follow-up.

With one I fortunately have the excuse that I was drunk. Last time I did this I did it twice: one while sober at the beach and while hanging out in the sea, another while drunk. I also apologized and said "girl, I promise you I won't tease you anymore".

What I don't know is what will happen later... will I develop my own way of acting when attracted to someone?

My question is because during my teenage years and from 18 to 21 I would just obsess and fawn all over whatever girl I was attracted to. It only died off when I took a class with roughly 50/50 of girls and dudes (most of my classes have only 2 girls among 28 men) and I realized it was stupid that I was "in love" with like 6 girls at once. I don't want to react to attraction like this, and I don't want to react to attraction by being an annoying, childish tease.

The real problem here, while I uderstand your annoyance with yourself, women actually much prefer that to a guy being serious. Where you're at right now you may not feel respected by girls or possibly even less respected by guys, but, if you destroy that you'll find out that you'll lose everything you had, women will likely find you scary instead of toy-like, and while I'm sure you may feel much better that you're in control of you and not them - you'll sadly find that the world would push you more and more to a corner for it, ie. it won't be appreciated in turn.

I'd love to say find the happy medium but I know that you can't easily fix this without utterly breaking it and by utterly breaking it you destroy everything you had going for you. Do whatever you think you need to though internally. I know that if you aren't happy where you're at right now that you may have to try the self-control freak for a while but try to keep at least something of a bridge of capability to move back along if you find it to be as I said.

Not shameful, just not the best behavior to do when you are growing up. When you're a tween, snapping bras, chewing gum in hair, etc. is cute. However, when you're 30, making girls cry is less cute.

Great, you recognize it's inappropriate at times and as you state - it's a first step. A little teasing (or flirting as its known) helps establish a relationship and interests on both sides. You get away with it, and you see the sign that she's able to take some of your attention. You tease and it shows you're interested in her and giving her attention. It's safe.

However, different people have different lines. Stop and think: Would you do what you think you're about to do to your aunt, mother or a sibling? If no, then it's probably not respectful and isn't warranted.

Ultimately, you'll grow out of it (e.g. gain additional levels of self-control) and learn to recognize where the various lines are with different people.

But it's definately not shameful.