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ThomasL
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04 Oct 2010, 3:16 am

whatamess wrote:
why was this for men only? heck! I'm a woman and honestly, I must be from freaking mars or something...I have met more women who cheat in my life than men who cheat...and believe me that most of my friends were men, so we talked about alot...but yes, I have met WAY too many women who cheat or as soon as they brake off with someone they are with some other guy or they date a married or "taken" guy...wth is wrong with women? ahhh


That is interesting. Is it possible that women actually have a greater sex drive than men? I suspect this is the case. After all, men get tired and need time to recover, whereas women can just keep on going, and going... just like the energizer bunny. So it seems that men like variety, but women actually want more sex than they can get from one guy, so in a completely free society, like we have now, women actually play around more than men?

whatamess wrote:
PS - reason my hubby puts up with my weird AS traits? for 4yrs he attempted to date me...for 4yrs I told him off because he was dating one girl or another...for 4yrs I told the girls they were idiots for putting up with any man who disrespected them...for 4yrs I didn't allow any man to buy me a drink even if I could only buy myself 1 all night cause I didn't have enough money...so after 4yrs, he was single...(PS I actually was not remotely attracted to him for those 4yrs...haha) and once he was single for at least 6mos we began to be friends...We have been together 12yrs now...


That is just amazing. 4 years not remotely attracted to the guy, telling him off for trying to date you, and then... MARRYING him??? And the marriage has lasted 12 years already? I think any guy would be amazed by this. Or maybe not - what do I know?

But for me, I can't imagine becoming attracted to a girl I'm not attracted to at first sight. I just assumed it was the same for girls, so I give up easily - one "no", or even a hint of a "no", and that's it for me. I didn't see the point of asking a second time. If she liked me, she would've said yes the first time. But 4 YEARS.... c'mon! Even asking a second time, I'd be afraid of being accused of something horrible, like stalking or sexual harassment or being a creep or not taking a hint, etc.

I'm so confused right now. So "not taking no for an answer".... works???

Also, I thought girls were attracted to guys who date lots of girls; his being in demand being proof that he's got something going for him, so you want him too. No? Are you sure his dating all those other girls isn't what made you want him eventually? What if he'd been single when he first asked you? You would've thought he was a desperate loser, right?

And how was he being "disrespectful" to those girls? Was he lying to them about seeing other girls?

So confusing.



MXH
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04 Oct 2010, 7:05 am

The problem isn't sex drive, the problem is being general sluts.



menintights
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04 Oct 2010, 8:12 am

Okay, MXH, back off.



MXH
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04 Oct 2010, 8:50 am

Back off the truth? Men used to be the whoores for many decades having wives and girlfriends at the same time, which is not ok either. Now since the recent womens rights movement hay have found it to be ok to screw anything that moves. Leading to where we are today which is almost a war between the sexes of whom is to be less faithful. Relationships are ending more and more each day because of unfaithful partners. Which defeats the purpose of relationships. In a couple of decades if we keep at this pace we might see the end of relationships overall and the rise of one night stands as the standard for procreation. Which would lead to single parents most of the time or to parents united to help their child.



auntblabby
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04 Oct 2010, 11:09 pm

the late katherine hepburn said something interesting a few decades back-

"men and women don't seem to be well-suited for each other, so maybe they should live next door to each other, and just drop-in now and then."



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05 Oct 2010, 6:51 am

auntblabby wrote:
the late katherine hepburn said something interesting a few decades back-

"men and women don't seem to be well-suited for each other, so maybe they should live next door to each other, and just drop-in now and then."


That's the situation I have at the moment 8)



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05 Oct 2010, 9:25 am

whatamess wrote:
why was this for men only? heck! I'm a woman and honestly, I must be from freaking mars or something...I have met more women who cheat in my life than men who cheat...and believe me that most of my friends were men, so we talked about alot...but yes, I have met WAY too many women who cheat or as soon as they brake off with someone they are with some other guy or they date a married or "taken" guy...wth is wrong with women? ahhh


why is it bad for women to seek out married men, but the reverse seems to be acceptable? i mean, for every women who has a baby with another man, there is someone having sex with her... in spite of the fact she is attached.

by the way, the estimates range widely, but in every single estimate, more men than women cheat.



i don't understand why are women demonized for what both partners are doing? i mean, one poster actually said that female adulterers should be stoned, and that he would stab a woman who cheated on him (! !??! !). shouldn't men be held to the same standard?


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hyperlexian
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05 Oct 2010, 9:32 am

ThomasL wrote:
So it seems that men like variety, but women actually want more sex than they can get from one guy, so in a completely free society, like we have now, women actually play around more than men?


actually, no. they do not. more men still cheat more often.


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hyperlexian
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05 Oct 2010, 9:46 am

MXH wrote:
Back off the truth? Men used to be the whoores for many decades having wives and girlfriends at the same time, which is not ok either. Now since the recent womens rights movement hay have found it to be ok to screw anything that moves. Leading to where we are today which is almost a war between the sexes of whom is to be less faithful. Relationships are ending more and more each day because of unfaithful partners. Which defeats the purpose of relationships. In a couple of decades if we keep at this pace we might see the end of relationships overall and the rise of one night stands as the standard for procreation. Which would lead to single parents most of the time or to parents united to help their child.

even today, more men than women cheat, so i guess they are man-whores? why is it okay for men to screw anything that moves, but not for women to do that? curious double-standard.


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05 Oct 2010, 10:21 am

in case anybody is interested, here are some estimates and stats:

Wikipedia: Infidelity wrote:
Men are more likely than women to have a sexual affair, regardless of whether or not they are in a married or dating relationship.[2]... Fifty United Kingdom divorce lawyers were asked to name the most common causes of their cases in 2003. Of those who cited extramarital affairs, 55% said it was usually the husbands and 45% said that it was the wives who cheated.[9]... Rates among older women tripled from 5% in 1991 to 15% in 2006; rates among men rose from 20–28%. About 20% of younger men and 15% of younger women say they cheated, up from about 15% and 12%, respectively.[1]... Children can be witnesses to an affair and outcomes of an affair. Between 2–4% of children are conceived as a result of an affair.. A 2005 scientific review of international published studies of paternal discrepancy found a range in incidence from 0.8% to 30% (median 3.7%), suggesting that the widely quoted figure of 10% of non-paternal events is an overestimate.


Newsweek: Cheaters Inc.: The Infidelity Industry wrote:
The ease of the Internet is one reason women are quickly catching up to men in the arena of extramarital nookie, according to Newsweek. Nowadays, an estimated 30 percent to 40 percent of wives are unfaithful, compared to 50 percent of husbands, therapists told the news magazine.


Discovery Health: When Your Partner Cheats: Healing From Infidelity wrote:
One often-cited expert, Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth, estimates that 60 percent of husbands and 40 percent of wives will have an affair at some point in their marriage; however, less than 10 percent of people who have affairs divorce and marry their lovers.


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menintights
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05 Oct 2010, 10:33 am

MXH wrote:
Back off the truth? Men used to be the whoores for many decades having wives and girlfriends at the same time, which is not ok either. Now since the recent womens rights movement hay have found it to be ok to screw anything that moves. Leading to where we are today which is almost a war between the sexes of whom is to be less faithful. Relationships are ending more and more each day because of unfaithful partners. Which defeats the purpose of relationships. In a couple of decades if we keep at this pace we might see the end of relationships overall and the rise of one night stands as the standard for procreation. Which would lead to single parents most of the time or to parents united to help their child.


You know, MXH, I don't care about the supposed moral decline in society that you see happening, but unless someone is unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with you, I don't think it's any of your business how sexually active she's been and how much people she's slept with.

The word "slut" has such a negative connotation for females that if you're a girl and you use it to insult other girls you're just being dumb. But if you're a boy and you use it to insult girls? You're just being lame.



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05 Oct 2010, 11:41 am

menintights wrote:
the supposed moral decline in society


I am in my 40s and I recall these "moral decline" complaints from my youth, my parents recall it from theirs (the swinging sixties) and my grandfather had hilarious stories about his experiences of moral decline (Prohibition). St Paul has some choice lines on the issue (1 Thessalonians 4:3 - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality"), and the Old Testament has plenty of anger for people "uncovering nakedness" (Leviticus 18:6-19).

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC).

It is hilarious hearing the same complaint from a 21st Century 19-year-old!



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05 Oct 2010, 12:09 pm

StuartN wrote:
menintights wrote:
the supposed moral decline in society


I am in my 40s and I recall these "moral decline" complaints from my youth, my parents recall it from theirs (the swinging sixties) and my grandfather had hilarious stories about his experiences of moral decline (Prohibition). St Paul has some choice lines on the issue (1 Thessalonians 4:3 - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality"), and the Old Testament has plenty of anger for people "uncovering nakedness" (Leviticus 18:6-19).

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC).

It is hilarious hearing the same complaint from a 21st Century 19-year-old!

GENIUS point! very well-put.


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05 Oct 2010, 2:21 pm

StuartN wrote:
menintights wrote:
the supposed moral decline in society


I am in my 40s and I recall these "moral decline" complaints from my youth, my parents recall it from theirs (the swinging sixties) and my grandfather had hilarious stories about his experiences of moral decline (Prohibition). St Paul has some choice lines on the issue (1 Thessalonians 4:3 - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality"), and the Old Testament has plenty of anger for people "uncovering nakedness" (Leviticus 18:6-19).

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC).

It is hilarious hearing the same complaint from a 21st Century 19-year-old!


Hmmm. I think I prefer things this way, honestly. Can you imagine one of your grandparents telling you about the shenanigans they actually took part in, when they were young?

Example: "I met your grandmother back stage at the Bob Hope concert. We had sex all night. We got married after she was late. I'm pretty sure your father was mine... Oh, it's time for cake. This is the best family reunion EVER! Where are my teeth?"

If my parents or grandparents were hoeish... I prefer they lie to me about it.



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05 Oct 2010, 8:08 pm

menintights wrote:
MXH wrote:
Back off the truth? Men used to be the whoores for many decades having wives and girlfriends at the same time, which is not ok either. Now since the recent womens rights movement hay have found it to be ok to screw anything that moves. Leading to where we are today which is almost a war between the sexes of whom is to be less faithful. Relationships are ending more and more each day because of unfaithful partners. Which defeats the purpose of relationships. In a couple of decades if we keep at this pace we might see the end of relationships overall and the rise of one night stands as the standard for procreation. Which would lead to single parents most of the time or to parents united to help their child.


You know, MXH, I don't care about the supposed moral decline in society that you see happening, but unless someone is unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with you, I don't think it's any of your business how sexually active she's been and how much people she's slept with.

The word "slut" has such a negative connotation for females that if you're a girl and you use it to insult other girls you're just being dumb. But if you're a boy and you use it to insult girls? You're just being lame.


I do believe it is my business to know she's a f-ing slut. Part of a relationship is committing yourself with another person because you feel this person can be all you need for life. Also how are you to tell me what words to use. I find my use of slut and whore to be 100% situation appropriate here.