Did Friends ask you to read about aspergers?

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justafriend
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22 May 2006, 3:04 pm

Hi,


1) Did a friend ask you read about this syndrome based on your behaviour that has them very confused ?

2) Did you maybe shut out this friend for a while out of denial?

3) Did you come around and be open to the idea once you did some research?


I am what I guess is called NT. at least from any quiz. I am no way normal and I value
uniqueness.

I am wondering if I lost an old friend forever.

I put the friendship on the line in order to help him see himself and have a better life with a sense of finally understanding things. Years of observations and recent events lead me to this subject.
I am sure he was diagnosed only with ADD years ago but I see a side that is more then that.

Thanks for any comment.

I dont want to loose my friend and am hoping to have contact again. Being far away does not help. This is not someone that I can just drop by to check up on.



justafriend
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22 May 2006, 6:11 pm

Anyone? more particular adults that were not diagnosed as kids or teens.

Thanks



Minerva
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22 May 2006, 7:09 pm

No, but there was some slightly condescending online melodrama a few years back where some guy, without naming me, said that I might have Asperger's and that I should "get some help" in an online journal. As though he could assume that I was unaware that I might have it, much less knew what was best for me.



justafriend
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22 May 2006, 8:56 pm

Thanks. I was not condesending but offered examples of things between us over the years.
I offered to talk about it. It was all done out of caring. It was a factual account and not an emotionally charged letter.

I am keeping my fingers crossed but I really believe he needed to see in writing his affect on me and perhaps others over the years. I hope it is A.D.D. alone and maybe he will at least see that he should be on medication and accept the fact.

I told him everyone is different and I value uniqueness. The qualities that drew me to him in the first place are still there, it is this other side that I was never a witness of that is the hardest part to deal with. I am only trying to be a friend. If I was a spouse this would be very difficult.

Thanks again.



Minerva
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22 May 2006, 9:14 pm

justafriend wrote:
Thanks. I was not condesending but offered examples of things between us over the years.
I offered to talk about it. It was all done out of caring. It was a factual account and not an emotionally charged letter.

I am keeping my fingers crossed but I really believe he needed to see in writing his affect on me and perhaps others over the years. I hope it is A.D.D. alone and maybe he will at least see that he should be on medication and accept the fact.

I told him everyone is different and I value uniqueness. The qualities that drew me to him in the first place are still there, it is this other side that I was never a witness of that is the hardest part to deal with. I am only trying to be a friend. If I was a spouse this would be very difficult.

Thanks again.


As long as you don't make a big public deal about it then I think you are doing the right thing. (Though I think the term "Asperger's" tends to be misleading, as some people online I've noticed say they have AS, but aren't really autistic). It might be possible he might have both (I was diagnosed with ADD and autism alternately, and after reading some descriptions of how the symptoms of ADD affect women recently I suspect I might have a mild form of it as well, but self-diagnosises are almost always wrong...) Sorry for digressing...



Minerva
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22 May 2006, 9:23 pm

I also feel like adding that before I was officially diagnosed at 16, it never occured to me that I might have it. The autobiographies I have read by people with the disorder at the time had symptoms that were far too severe for me to identify with, and since I was a lot more literal minded back then, the association didn't really make that much sense to me. When I thought of autism, I thought of Rain Man, Donna Williams, or Temple Grandin, and I didn't know anyone who had the disorder either. But now I know that if you've met or known one person with the disorder, you've met one person with the disorder.



justafriend
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22 May 2006, 10:07 pm

Well I hope I am not wrong because if I am , I am the stupidest person on the planet.

I have known this person since the age of 14, we are both 40 now.

You do not treat someone you have known that long the way I perceived I have been treated.

I will know soon enough if I am being written off.



Minerva
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22 May 2006, 10:18 pm

justafriend wrote:
Well I hope I am not wrong because if I am , I am the stupidest person on the planet.

I have known this person since the age of 14, we are both 40 now.

You do not treat someone you have known that long the way I perceived I have been treated.

I will know soon enough if I am being written off.



Good luck.



CockneyRebel
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23 May 2006, 7:38 am

I've had my Own Best Friend encourage me to read about Asperger's on the Internet, when my Family was first introduced the World Wide Web. I've read an article about a High School Graduate who went to a Prom and was tormented by his Male Peers, and how a Female Student at the same Prom rounded up her Girlfriends and all of the Young Women lined up to dance with that charming Young Man. At the very end of the Article was a brief sentence that described what Asperger's Syndrome is. I've read that Article in 1994 and my Family was hooked up to the Internet, three years later, in 1997. I've Lycosed up Asperger's Syndrome and read the Article and it made moe sense to me, than the other Autistic Conditions.

Oh! And in case you were wondering who My Own Best Friend is, that would be me. :wink:



CockneyRebel
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23 May 2006, 7:44 am

I've even printed out the 13 Page Article and I've felt very guilty about the ammount of Ink that I've used up, so I gave my Dad some Money towards a future purchase of Computer Ink.



TigerFire
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23 May 2006, 7:57 am

No I hadn't had any friend to tell me that I should check on if I had Aspergers.


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justafriend
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23 May 2006, 8:25 am

Thanks.

The positive qualities are still there but right now I am worried. If he is aspergers and does not know it and is wondering why things just never go the way he wants or expects.

I am worried he is in a depression.

How do I reach him ? how do I help him see that there is a reason for why he is feeling or not feeling things the way he maybe thinks he should be. He is acting out aggesively towards me.

When we were younger he just kinda moved on. We never had the chance to be in this part of the friendship.

I always felt he pushed the people that were closest to him away. Now I know why.



dgd1788
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25 May 2006, 11:41 am

I usually ask people to read about it!

I feel that way a lot of times, because I am so proud of my AS



Seigneur
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26 May 2006, 4:05 pm

1. Yes
2. No