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onlytrish
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22 May 2006, 9:31 pm

Ok..I'm new to this site, as well as the whole disorder itself. My son is a wonderfully bright 17 yr old, who was only diagnosed less than a year ago. Of course, like many others, he had been misdiagnosed since he was 4 and thankfully we have made great strides in the last few months. However, the latest twist developed about a month ago. He just "decided" to stay home and sleep instead of going to school. He's always gotten himself motivated enough to get OUT the door, but has missed TEN days of school in the last month, just to find out it was to stay home and sleep. Two weeks ago, I had just discussed with his physician his lack of sleep----I think i know the answer now----he was sleeping ALL day. The worst part is that the public school he attends did NOT notify me of his absences until today......his 10th day of being absent. I know that as a parent, it is MY job to ensure he gets to school. He is dressed and ready to go when i leave for work (which by the way, is only 10 minutes before he is to leave). I also know that is is HIS responsibility to actually walk out the door and walk the two blocks to school, and he has done this without fail for the last 2 years. However, in his "wisdom" he didn't quite understand the ramifications of his actions. Shouldn't I be furious with the school for their lackidasical approach at his attendance record???? I've never asked for special treatment from the education system, but in this case i REALLY feel that it has failed us. He was all set to go to a vocational school next semester which has a wonderful team of teachers who are familiar with Asperger's. After touring their facility last week with my son, I was convinced that this was the BEST place for him to finish out his last two years of school. It has now come to my attention that his poor attendance record now prohibits him from being accepted into the program. I am now contemplating further actions with the school board to see if his recent behavior, which is obviously directed to his condition, can be "excused" at least to the point that it gets him into the the technical school and OUT of the public school which obviously doesn't care if he's there or not. Anyone's thoughts on this subject would be GREATLY appreciated.



sunny
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22 May 2006, 10:28 pm

Hello, I wanted to post a reply because I feel your pain but think I may have some light to shed for your situation...

I am NT (neurotypical) girl who has been with a AS man for 2 years now. He is recently "diagnosed" and I can tell you he is very smart and succesful but never finished school. He ended up getting his GED and attending school for computers and he is basically a genius because his obsession (computers) are parlaying into career opportunities. But if he had been judged solely on his academic performance and attendance, people would have only seen a delinquent. And believe me, his mother is a wonderful teacher and she could not make him go to school.

I think that as a parent of an AS kid you should realize that he will only be set up to fail if he is expected to follow the standard education model- this may work for some but it seems that perhaps in your case your son is at that critical point where he can either figure out what he does want to do, or be made to feel like a failure because he did not "fit in" to what society says you should do. Remember: many brilliant minds are often very bored in traditional classes. He most likely lacks the stimulation he needs.

I bet anything once he gets going in schooling that excites and interests him, there will be no problems with attendance and performance.

FYI, my boyfriend that dropped out of school ended up getting strsaight-As in computer school and never missed a day!

Cheers!



Elanivalae
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22 May 2006, 10:38 pm

Talk to your doctor. Many, if not most, schools will make exceptions for attendance due to medical issues. My parents went through an all-out war with their school district over my sister's attendance in high school (she was sleeping erratically, sometimes none at all, sometimes as much 18 hours a day, and until she received her MS diagnosis, no one knew why and she was almost not allowed to graduate), but in the end her absences were declared irrelevant (provided she met the graduation requirements) because they were tied to a medical issue. If you have a documented medical history and a sympathetic family practitioner, the public school will back down. They know the risks of being sued by someone with a legitimate case are too high.

You also need to determine whether something has been happening at school that makes him want to avoid it. You've probably already thought of that, but if he's being evasive, asking his teachers might be wise. After all, if there's a specific non-medical reason he hasn't been going, that needs to be addressed as well, and in the case of bullying or other harrassment, the responsibility lies with the school.



Paula
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23 May 2006, 1:15 am

If you are in the states, then they have to provide him by law with an education that fits him. He has a diagnoses so they can't just drop him from school or ignore it. The Americas with Disabilities Act prohibits them from doing this. So they need to send him to the proper school for him. Does he have an I.E.P, if not demand one. In the mean time go to your distrist and explain what happended, and the situation. And I would also suggest driving your son to school. Also find out why he's missing, maybe he's being bullied. You also may want to speak directly to the principal of the school you want to send him to. I'm sure he'd want to talk to your son and work something out. If working with aspergers students is what they do, then he's not doing anything this principal has not seen before. Good Luck.



CDRhom
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30 May 2006, 8:54 pm

It reminds me of what I do when I get bored with my classes, very likely near the end of a semester/school year.


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trapped
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23 Jun 2006, 11:10 pm

I am an undiagnosed aspie (I am working on getting diagnosed) and I went through the same thing your son is going through.

With me, my obsessions began to dominate my life more than they had before, so my schooling began to suffer as a result. I also was sick of being rejected and excluded from the normal social crowds, and the constant ridicule and being an outsider....I guess I just couldn't take it anymore, so once I turned 16, I quit going to school.

I am now 18, and have decided to go back.

Is your son withdrawn from the "social scene" moreso lately?



TheMachine1
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24 Jun 2006, 7:46 am

Please delete all my posts.



Last edited by TheMachine1 on 29 Jun 2006, 4:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

one1ai
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24 Jun 2006, 8:06 am

online school(through internet, the last years of high school.....) , does it exist?



trapped
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24 Jun 2006, 7:06 pm

Yes, online school exists, I did manage to complete a year of my school that way, but it took me 2 and 1/2 years to do it. It is simply too easy to not do it, and whenever I sat at my computer to do it, I would instead find myself reading tech news sites or researching stuff I was interested in, and the homework never got done. I still think some form of classroom learning is the best thing for an aspie....but of course everyone is different.



one1ai
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25 Jun 2006, 1:17 am

That means that your distance learning didn't involve video conferencing?

Did it cost anything?



Last edited by one1ai on 25 Jun 2006, 1:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

trapped
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25 Jun 2006, 1:18 am

No, it was more like an online version of corresspondance, not an actual home school powered through the internet.