Board index › Coping in life › Work and finding a Job

"Must Have Excellent Communication Skills"

Page 2 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,663
Location: Houston, Texas

06 Oct 2010, 5:27 pm

ladyrain wrote:
. . . and I think learning to hold-back on the giving, to find out if they can reciprocate, is quite important. So treat people well, but leave some room to find out if they will treat you well in return, and if they don't, then take your time to get to know them before you rely on them too much. . .

That's what I'm learning. Make a medium overture and see if the person ping-pongs it back and does their part. Or, respond to their overture in a medium way and see if they ping-pong it back again.

That's the theory. And then I think there's a repertoire of skills (inexact by their very nature). So, do one of these skills, even if it's not 'perfect,' even if it's not the 'best' one and see if the person responds in turn, and thus kind of build something with the person.



menintights
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 895

06 Oct 2010, 5:30 pm

Jaejoongfangirl wrote:
My strategy nowadays (to make it seem like I'm better with people than I am) is to just approach every conversation with the attitude that I've known the other person forever - even if we're just now meeting.


The problem with this approach is not everyone has the energy level to remain friendly and upbeat for the rest of the session. My attitude tends to be excellent in the first five minutes, okay for the next five, and completely disappears after minute 11.

Suffice to say I've misled people about my personality a lot of times.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,663
Location: Houston, Texas

06 Oct 2010, 5:35 pm

menintights wrote:
Jaejoongfangirl wrote:
My strategy nowadays (to make it seem like I'm better with people than I am) is to just approach every conversation with the attitude that I've known the other person forever - even if we're just now meeting.


The problem with this approach is not everyone has the energy level to remain friendly and upbeat for the rest of the session. My attitude tends to be excellent in the first five minutes, okay for the next five, and completely disappears after minute 11.

Suffice to say I've misled people about my personality a lot of times.

And I think the solution to that is to start slower. To a little bit wait for the other person, to be attune to their mood, and to be ready to ping-pong it back and forth.