I NEED HELP! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE

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I feel really depressed about my life at the minute, and I was hoping I could take some advice from you guys. Back in primary school, I felt normal. OK, maybe I wasn't as popular as I thought I was, but as I remember my communication skills weren't a problem. I had a best friend called LYLL-88 {I would like to disguise these peoples names with random letters and numbers}. He has always been my best friend, every time we spend time together, we always do certain things that is not natural in front of his mates. It's because we are like brothers. I also have a twin brother called , POB-5.

In primary school the atmosphere of my social awareness was alright, and then me and my piers moved up to year 7, where things started to change. I was placed in the access form {special needs class}. And a lot of them were horrible to me in that class. And I could see that people placed in this form were either chavs, who didn't want to learn and plan to disrupt the lesson, and the ones who had disabilities through their IQ,, and had the mental age of someone who was several years younger, and weren't developing. While I was with the special needs kids, POB-5 AND LYLL-88 and the rest of my friends were in mainstream classes. I hated being in the access group so bad I kept complaining about how I was smarter than the rest of them, and that they believed I'm not smart through my diagnosis of ASD. And I was considered the slow one out my form from the teachers, and pupils, even though I had the same ideal conversation with all the normal kids.

It took them three years to fully move me into mainstream classes, and when I had been reunited with my so-called friends, they didn't like me that much anymore. And they went from thinking bad of me for no reason, to not knowing I was there at all. But they all still spoke to POB-5, and LYLL-88 which really, really, upset me. POB-5 wasn't even friends with LYLL-88 and other people before hand. POB-5 has his own set of friends himself, HY-77, BR-4, and JA-011. HY-77 used to not like me , as well as mutual feelings from me. He called me a ret*d, and made horrible jokes about me for no reason, but he seems to be sorted with me now. BR-4 was from our primary, who was originally my friend and then I slowly watched him grow on POB-5 so much until they became friends, but he's positive towards me, and notices me. And JA-011 is meant to belong to POB-5, but I am more and more convinced that he is more alike me, and maybe my friend. Me, POB-5 and his friends all walk home together, and I am able to communicate well with them.

Me and LYLL-88's friendship is not as good as it used to be. He used to knock on my door loads, and ask me if I wanted to hang out, and whenever we fell out, he would always be the one running back to me and wanting to be my friend again. But now, even when we haven't departed through rage at each-other, I would not exist unless I was to ring him up, and ask him about going to the cinemas. It's because he has become popular like POB-5 and I'm not as important to him as he is to me. But now it has gone worse, I rang him up last weekend twice to see if he wanted to come round to my house and chill, and he said yes to both times I rang him, but did he turn up? NO!

He is actually rejecting me now, and he is pretty much the only friend I have got. If he understood how I felt, and about my Autism then maybe it would help. But he is hanging out with POB-5 and the rest of them, and I don't go out with them because they never ask.

Today I was playing football, with some others in my year. And I was so paranoid about people laughing at me for not playing as well, due to me not playing the sport as much as most people. There was one certain lad who I thought was laughing at me the most, who quite frankly just laughs at me for talking {I sometimes wonder if I am showing autistic traits without realizing, when I talk}. After I did some good attempts to tackle people, I walked over towards the ones who were watching the game, and sat down. This lad who I was just talking about, was laughing at me along with a friend of his, and making unnecessary comments on me. I called him a knob-head, so he said I was a weirdo. So I stood up on my feet, and let him give me a cocky smile, before I began to punch him in the face repeatedly. I got a lot of attention from this, not bad attention because he wasn't hurt, and people saw that I was the one crying. People were trying to get me to talk to them about what he said to me, to provoke that. But I just picked up my stuff and left. And now I am really anxious about what people think of me and how to socialize with them

People don't consider me as someone to be talked about or even thought about. I'm just POB-5's twin brother. First of all I am in need of advice on how to deal with my social issues and making, but also maintaining friendship. But I would also like someone to tell me if I actually sound like a loner and that it's worrying, or if I have exaggerated situations because everyone in their life has felt like this at some point, and I am really, just fine. Because my older sister says I am, and that I really shouldn't worry about making friends, and that she has felt like this a hundred times over when she was my age. I also spoke to my older cousin, who is also Autistic, and said to me that I really should not think about it too much, because it just naturally happens. But every time I get told this from my sis or cuz, the very next day I either feel very happy or very sad about the serial problem.

What should I do?
Please help ![/u]

I usually don't give advice, but I can suggest some things you might want to check out.

You didn't go into too much detail as to where you live, and what are your circumstances, so I will try to be general.

If you are an older teen, live in a fairly large city, or urban area, and live with your family, you have some good possibilities.

Check with your local social services to see if there any Autism groups near where you live. Hopefully there are, and you can check some of them out.

You will probably find that with us aspies it is hard to make friends, because we miss so much of the NT communication stuff.

The best way to find friendship is probably to find someone who needs a friend, and get to know that person. That could result in friendship.

What do you enjoy doing? Are you into video games? Are you good at something? Is there something you want to learn to do or play?

Try to make a list of the things you would like in your "ideal" friend.

Try not to be too narrow, because sometimes a friend may not share everything you like, but some things only. What would be most important to you?

Social networking is something NTs seem to do really well, but people with Autism appear to be behind really strong firewalls, and our networks are pretty small. I don't know how to correct that.

Apology for the rambling post, that's how my mind works, but I hope I gave you some ideas you can work on.

I'm sure there are others here who are going to try to help you, so hang in there.

Good luck,
rob

Just a little advice from me, not sure if it'll help much.
I am assuming you are now in year 10 or thereabouts, cause you didn't mention an age?
When I was in year 7 a similar thing happened to me- I was put in the special needs class, and everyone there was incredibly low in IQ levels ( and I'm incredibly high), and I had to be in the lower english class for reading- even although I can read easy enough ( and could since was three perfectly fine, haha to them!!) it was just speech articulation problem, and the fact I am a super fast speed reader that made it sound like I couldn't read. And yes, I fitted in socially well enough throughout primary school, and didn't notice any changes in friendships until high school.
But my advice is this ( drawing from own experiences): Having a good, close friend isn't everything. And whilst it may be what you think it is what you really wish for, don't cling onto primary school friends. I did until half way through year eleven, and then I ditched!! ! And that was the best move of my life. I only had the one friend until then, apart from tagging along with my younger sisters ( almost twin, only a year age difference) friends.
So how did I do that?

I joined an orchestra- my special interests are violin and drawing. So in the orchestra I thought- what the fudge? And just started talking to people. And now I have two other friends, who don't go to school with me, but we are besties and do everything together.

So, a bit like rchamberlins suggestions, I reckon you should join a club or organisation fro something you are interested in, and meet some out of school friends. And even change school, if you can. I did in year eleven, and it also made huge difference not going to the same school as my sibling. I'm independent, and with own friends!! !

I think it is something people do go through in early teens, but in us with being on the AS, it's magnified a hundred times worse.

The other thing which may help is talking it through with a councillor or psychiatrist. It really help for me!! !

Hope this helps a little

I know how you feel. I have very few friends and always lose them when i get them.
rchamberlin is right. Check with your local social services to see if there any Autism groups near where you live.
Where is some of my advice;
>Find people that are interested in thing that you are interested in.
>Find some one that needs a friend to. They tend to be more interested in being friends rather than an acquittance.
>Join a club or youth group and meet people.
>Never try and fit in, the friendship never last.
>Be flexible, but don't bend over backwards for them all the time.
>Be upbeat if you can, if not try to laugh and smile and it will make you happy(works from me and i have depression )

Hope you find a new pal

And if you can't be upbeat, pretend you are. Eventually, you'll run into something to justify the mirth. Anti-depressants work well too, lol.

SAMEish. I was never put in special ed, too smart and the school didn't have special ed. But I did start being home schooled in 4th grade and gradually some of my friends just... forgot about me. It hurt, but I'm over it. Besides, if you can forget me, then I probably didn't mean that much to you either. I also hate standing out.............. So I usually blend in. (Btw, bringing a chinchilla into the PS is NOT, I repeat NOT a good way to blend in, just FYI.)