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quote="uncertainofhim"]I have alot of questions, cause I think my boyfriend has aspergers (uncertainofhim) I finally conviced him to get checked by a Doctor. His family or his mom to be exact think he's just an as*hole and stupid but being his g-friend of 10 years, I know he'smart and sensitive. I've come to the end with him, I thought that maybe he is with me because he does'nt want be alone . Because he's not as affectionate or there for me emotionally.So we are having the same arguement over and over. I know tooo much info I'm oversharing .lol. I can't talk to anyone who's understanding his mom thinks he's just an idoit nothing's wrong with him but anyt ype of talking like kids ,moving even a job like a carpender she's said even in front of him "he's too stupid" or something to the effect of him failing(while he's standing there just pacing). Then talking to my family it's always "there's something wrong with him, break up with him" I also feel like maybe he just does'mt love me. I know I am not making excuses for him and believe me I'm not perfect at all but I believe this website can help I've notice alot of similarities between aspies and my b/f I know lonnng winded please reply someone . this must be really hard for him too. also How long did it take for you's to except (once diagnosed by a doctor) and be ok with it? He has fine motors sklls problems os he thinks aspie's are all only genius's. also please tell me this is private u know anonymous.

Hi there. Yes, this forum is as private as you make it--meaning, your username can't be traced back to your real identity, and the only info revealed is what you yourself show in your profile.

With that being said, welcome to WP!

I myself have not been diagnosed by a doctor--I chose to self-diagnose last year, and the results just confirmed what I had always known--I was/am "different", and now that difference has a name. For me, it was more "Ah-ha!" and "Whew--this IS real" than "acceptance."

I'm glad you got him to go to a doctor. I'd say that you probably know him pretty well--perhaps even better than his family (who may simply be frustrated/don't know what to do and are "lashing out" by saying those things--browse through the forums and you'll see other examples of that, sadly enough).

The issues with affection and being there emotionally--sounds familiar. I've been with my bf for three years (yes, I'm female) and I still have those issues myself. I love him a lot but sometimes I still feel like I'm holding back and I don't even know why. We talk about it a lot. Sometimes he gets frustrated with that aspect of me, too. I feel very grateful that we're still together.

I'm sure your bf loves you too. If he does have AS than the emotional "distance" is just part of that and, therefore, part of who he is--the guy you fell in love with. I think he really does need you. I realize that it must be difficult to recognize that the lack of affection is NOT a reflection on you or your relationship--it's just the way he's built/wired.

I'm glad you found this forum. Please keep posting and let us know how things turn out. Also, if you want to talk about things more privately, feel free to PM me.



In my opinion, he is none of those things. I know I don't know him personally, but judgments like those are rarely correct.

Don't let what your families say get in the way of your relationship. You two are the only ones who are qualified to judge whether or not you should be together.

Take care, and I wish both of you well.