Any Aspies here that can live independently?

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It dosen't matter if your married or single, I just need advice from anyone that were able to accomplish this. Although I'm still living with my parents, I'm close to getting into college then I head out to the real world which scares me because I have to deal with the main fact that I'm out on my own. I have to find and buy a house, pay for bills, understand the bank, take care of the family, and so on. For any Aspies here, is it a lot harder for an Aspie to live an independent life then an NT? If you were able to accomplish this, how did you do it?

hello there, i am aspie and live on my own. first of all dont go into a situation expecting the outcomes you would like to have, i made the mistake of doing this. it will only lead to major frustrations, and meltdowns. how i live on my own is easy for me, i dont own my home or have a car payment mostley because i have bad credit. so i rent and take public transportation. just make shure you pay your rent or any bill you have on time and you'll have nothing to worry about. its a better life on your own believe me, i love being independant, and so will you!

now making friends will still be hard, whatever you do dont start drinking to relax to have a social life. this is my biggest problem right now, trying to kick an alcohol addiction and be social without doing it. just drink pop or coffee, and you'll be fine.

i'm shure you'll get the hang of it, and good luck to you!

If you're about to start college, there's no need to worry about buying houses and raising families. There's also no requirement that you strive for a white picket fence, etc..

If you are concerned about keeping track of things (a very legitimate concern in college, where you will several classes all on different assignment/test schedules) organization is a very good friend. Aspie or not, you will likely want to keep lists of things you need to do, and put some effort into keeping up with things each day. A lot of college freshmen think they can ignore their schoolwork like in high school and cram before the test, but that just doesn't work well when your moving toward being an adult.

I agree with Densaugeo, especially about buying a house. We didn't buy one until we were 32. As far as managing the mundane stuff, I depend a lot on my husband. He takes care of the bills (I pay, I just don't sort through them and stuff), does the taxes, deals with delivery people, keeps me focused and pushes the cart at the grocery store, etc. In return I generally take care of the things I'm good at like making sure the cars are taken care of and that we keep a regular schedule.

I live on my own but with a lot of help from him and both our families. I've only truly lived on my own for about 6 months of my whole life. And even then I had a roommate.

I think the key is to re-think what it is to be independent. Do not try to be NT. We will never be NT. I already see the thinking that could lead you down that path. You listed a bunch of "I will have to..." statements, none of which are necessarily true. They key is to find what you want to be happy, not let others tell you. The NT's will only tell you what will make them happy, not you.

Don't try to be a NT, we only must survive in their world. To be a NT is to be average and lead a life of mediocrity, to never be more than anyone else.

Many aspies do just fine. Many of the worlds most succesfull people are suspected to have ADHD, aspergers, or whatever other disorder. Like Bill Gates, Einstein, and others. Learn to use your abilities to your advantage, and you can be more successful than any NT.

Some aspies are unable to function on their own. Usually it's a combination of comorbids that can be to much to overcome and rarely just aspergers itself.

And then there are a rare few, and I know some, who use their labels as an excuse. I have an aspie relative who from birth was told she was different, was told it's not her fault, was told that she can not help the bad things she does. She has become an absolute and total monster. I know her well and know her capabilities, but being told form birth that she will never amount to anything or ever be in control of herself she fails to have understanding of how to even try. I can not say I blame her for how she turned out seeing how she was raised. I have tried to help her and when she is with me I can get through and she can function quite well. But as soon as she is back with "them" it all go's away. Don't let yourself fall into that trap.

I would just try to take things step by step. Try to focus on college. None of that stuff (bills, dealing with banks, buying a house) is really that hard. For bills, just stay organized, and keep a routine. ( ie put bills here when they come in, pay every Friday, or what ever works for you).
Banks want your money so they will be more than happy to walk you through everything. Keep in mind that even NT's can have a hard time with finances so don't sweat it if you don't know everything. Ask questions before you sign papers. Its OK to ask someone who is good with money to sit in with you.
Keep in mind owning a home might not be for you. Lots of people rent and its just fine. If you own your own home and something breaks or needs up keep its all you. I do own my own home, but I am pretty good at fixing things and I enjoy that kind of work. (most of the time).
Keep your life as simple as you can. I didn't know #@%* at 17.

I am married and quite dependent upon my wife even though I have almost always had the larger income and served as the official "provider" ... but keeping up with essentials and necessities like buying groceries and doing laundry and cooking and cleaning and all of that kind of stuff would be very difficult for me on my own. My biggest piece of advice? Do not, do not, do not go into debt! Find an efficiency apartment with included utilites and a maintenance person for a while ... then watch closely and learn from the housing mistakes other people make. Pay cash for a decent used car (if you drive), then hang onto it until its annual repair costs begin to regularly exceed $500.00 per year (while comparing all of that to the unforgiving expense of a $500-per-month lease or payment). And finally, and as others have also said in various ways: Have no great expectations of yourself until you have learned what you actually *can* reasonably do!

You're getting some sound advice, here, OP. The key is one step at a time. Don't panic. I know the thoughts of mortgages and families can seem overwhelming, but these things just tend to evolve when you take life one day at a time. My dad always says, don't sweat the small stuff. I think he's right. Mortgages and supporting a family are big stuff...in your future perhaps...but for now they're so distant they are small stuff.

Worry instead about getting good grades in college and finding a few friends who really get you. The older you get, the harder it is to find people who are as open to making friends when you are in your youth. By the time all that other stuff shows up, you'll have the skills and experience to deal with them. Just don't jump into them because something in your head tells you "I am now 30, it must be time to have a family and a mortgage." A lot of us fall into that, and it puts +10 on difficulty later down the road. Be yourself, and take care of what you need for you, not because of some silly timeline of how life is "supposed" to go.

My mother signed me up for SSI, it was a fortunate someone decided to hire me and give me a try. My parents also helped me move out and they decided I can live in my grandparent's rental house. I lived on my own for a year and a half.

Then when I moved out to Oregon, my dad brought me out with some of my stuff. Then later on my parents brought out more of my stuff and we stored it in my aunt and uncle's garage and basement. I also looked for an apartment to live in. I looked online and the one I live in now I found it by driving by it when some idiot forgot to take down their yard sale sign so I was looking for that yard sale when I saw this apartment complex and saw they had a For Rent sign. So I called the number and asked for the unit price range and asked to look at it. My parents were out visiting and we looked at the apartment together and the landlord was fixing up an apartment unit to get ready to rent it out and my mom talked to her and was saying she would help me if I can't pay my rent and they will pay it. Well I got the apartment and my parents came out again with the rest of my stuff and they bought me some bookshelves and a computer desk. When we moved into our apartment, our uncle helped us move my stuff there and then when my parents brought out my other stuff including some furniture, they moved it all in while I went to work. So for about a month, our apartment was bare and it hardly had anything in it and we used lawn chairs my aunt gave us to use for a while so we aren't sitting on the floor. I didn't even have internet either nor cable so I could only use internet on my days off or if our internet card decided to pick up a connection and that be when I was stealing it.

I do good with paying the bills on time and now my husband does it. He said it was too stressful for me. I have also done automatic payments where money be taken out of my bank so I wouldn't have to write a check. We still do it.

I still don't even own a house and have no desire to. I would like to but we can't afford it.

Well bills are easy because the mail man generally puts them into the mail box and there's instructions on how to pay them. Of course you will need the money to do so.

My advice to you is keep your banking simple and pay in cash when you can.

The DMV is as easy as you and the clerks make it.

I think perhaps the most difficult thing about being on your own is the prospect of engaging in tasks which have complexity to their level of social interaction or dynamics. Occasionally you will have to deal with a clerk or office who is difficult to deal with because they are poorly trained, do not explain pertinent information well enough or withhold information from you. NT's usually managed to get favors or get to the "right person to talk to" while those of us with AS usually tend to be ineffective in this for reasons I have not yet figured out.

I do live on my own. With my BF, but other than that, it is just us. I can't do roomates very well--- living with other people or having too many peoplearound the house makes me uneasy and can get me upset. I'm very particular about things. So no more roomates. Bills and things i can do--- pay them and they're done. But people in my house? that gets hard and after a bit they have to go.
Most bills say on them how they need to be paid and by what date. The house is fine unless something breaks, and then it must be fixed. I think i do better on my own than I would with other people. People are too hard... even my BF and I don't see eye to eye on things sometimes, but we manage.

Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Cash-Credit-Infor ... 85&sr=1-38

And if you have to get a job, it's always a bad idea to take more classes than you can handle.

I live on my own. I have an apartment that I rent, and a old hand-me-down car from my parents. It's the best thing in the world, and I'd sooner go back in time to high school than give up the freedom I had since 2007. I managed to pick up basic household management skills with little or no instruction from my parents, by observing them. I can cook great meals (my past girlfriends praised my cooking), do laundry, and pay bills on time. The only thing I have trouble with is cleaning. My apartment looks like crap: newspapers on chairs, dirty dishes in the sink, random stuff all over the floor, and junk in the storage unit, but maybe that's all because my parents' house was a Museum of Cleanliness. I rarely host parties; then again, I'd much rather attend a party or go to a club than host a party. Speaking of which, I can come and go as I please, without having to answer to anyone. Most aspies have a desire for control over their lives, and one's own place is a wonderful way to achieve it.

I feel like I could if I needed to. My parents still help me while I'm going to college, but I'm aware of the expenses of independent living since I rent off campus. I'm fairly confident that I could land a sufficiently-paying job if all of a sudden I was on my own.

You're younger than me and already worry about things that might be 10 years ahead...?
Even for NTs the change isn't all that easy, but trust me, for most people independence comes one step at a time, at least for most students.

Being a student is actually a little like walking on a leash. My parents still pay for me (seeing how I don't earn money), the big bills they pay themselves and for the small bills I get a certain amount of money per month. I live on campus of an English university (studying abroad for this year), I have my own room that's cleaned every two weeks, but in between I need to clean up after myself, I could go to the cafeteria, but chose to cook for myself, I need to buy groceries and all the everyday stuff myself, I had to open a bank account and generally need to keep up with my university stuff.
I'm a little independent - much more independent than last year - but not entirely. If something goes wrong I know my parents will help me.

And, as far as I see it, I will do more and more things myself and eventually live entierly on my own. In England in a students residence, back in Germany I'll look for a shared flat, then, when I earn money on my own and can afford it, a very small flat for myself, then a bigger one.... And some time in my life I'll probably own a house.

And I expect it will be similar with you. Nobody (or very, very, very few people) gets to jump out of their parents house into a middle class family with house, car , children and regular job.

I'm young and i still live with my family because obviously they think i would not be able to look after myself and I just about got all the ability there is to survive in the world and I self taught myself a lot of things.

Do you feel your ready to go, things in improve on because once you really hit reality, there's no turning back.