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BeauZa
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30 Oct 2010, 6:45 am

For a long time I have always preferred occasions, meetups, etc., with friends to consist of just me and one other person, because I have found that when there are three of us, or if a friend and I go out to a social event, like I went through yesterday (Christian youth night), I am always the third wheel, eventually get pushed into the background while everyone else mixes and mingles and ultimately enjoys themselves while I just stand around missing my Nintendo Wii.

So, does anyone else share this tendency? I just want to know that I'm not a lone nut here. :(


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Vector
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30 Oct 2010, 8:02 am

I think this is pretty normal. I really hate it when I'm with two friends and I start to feel like they are closer to each other than to me.

Actually, I don't really like to HAVE more than one friend at a time, at least not close friends. I want to bond with one person and call it done.


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Peko
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30 Oct 2010, 9:51 am

I'd either go with one-on-one as you said or a larger group of 4-5+ to hang out. I personally prefer going in a group of 4-10 including myself (though I have gone with more) who are laid back. We usually get something to eat & walk around a market/stores hanging out. If its very casual, it may not be as stressful & with multiple people you're more likely to find someone to talk with. :)


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Poppycocteau
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30 Oct 2010, 12:49 pm

I feel exactly the same - I only like talking to one person at a time . . . and sometimes I don't even like that.


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Titangeek
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30 Oct 2010, 4:33 pm

same here, when I'm with more than one person i always end up the third wheel, and for the most part i can get a word in edgewise, and then i get accused of being quiet and when i try to explain that i get interrupted and get pushed to the back of the room (metaphorically speaking) :wall:


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luvmyaspie
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31 Oct 2010, 2:18 am

If I'm with my small group of long term, trusted mates (four of us), then I'm quite outspoken and confident.

If even one other person joins us, or we are in a group social situation, then I become somewhat mute. Not because I'm shy, but because I don't know what people are talking about most of the time and can't join in. If I do think I'm following and try and get in on the action, most of the time people tune out on me or interrupt me and speak over me.

This is where my obsession of human observation kicks in. So I sit back and watch & learn.

I guess I know my small group of friends so well that I've become used to their style of conversations. Out of my comfort zone, I get lost and can't keep up.

I can't bear the thought of the jokers in the crowd directing their jokes at me either because most of the time I don't understand what's supposed to be funny and what's not. So, I usually notice the loudest people as soon as I get there, and stay well away from them. :wink:


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Titangeek
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31 Oct 2010, 12:55 pm

just a thought, why do people seem to feel compelled to interrupt me, even when i point out that they are interrupting.


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BeauZa
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31 Oct 2010, 6:14 pm

Titangeek wrote:
just a thought, why do people seem to feel compelled to interrupt me, even when i point out that they are interrupting.


I really wish I knew, but as I have seen from the posts I've received I can tell you are not alone in the matter, let alone myself.
Thanks to all for your insights. In a purely non-sadist way it soothes me to know that I'm not the only one that has to put up with this...

INJUSTICE OF SOCIETY.


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KissOfMarmaladeSky
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01 Nov 2010, 1:38 pm

BeauZa wrote:
For a long time I have always preferred occasions, meetups, etc., with friends to consist of just me and one other person, because I have found that when there are three of us, or if a friend and I go out to a social event, like I went through yesterday (Christian youth night), I am always the third wheel, eventually get pushed into the background while everyone else mixes and mingles and ultimately enjoys themselves while I just stand around missing my Nintendo Wii.

So, does anyone else share this tendency? I just want to know that I'm not a lone nut here. :(


I, too, share this lonely tendency to either become the third wheel, or ending up being overstimulated. When I'm in a one-on-one situation (if I know the person), I am able to feel comfortable, and the person (most often) pays attention to me. If I am in a group, however, I am left out for whatever reason (for acting "ret*d", for not liking what they are doing, for just being independent and not following anyone whatsoever, ect.), and I end up being the only one wishing for their precious Nintendo Power magazine, their books, and stuff of that area. Also, I have a problem with groups because I have a difficult time being around a group of people for an extended period.