Can't tell if he likes me, suspect aspergers -help!

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If he was from Minnesota, I'd ask if he was Scandinavian, because what you describe sounds an awful lot like traditional (old school) Scandinavian relationships.

If not, likely he has AS. You may have to ask more questions and follow-up questions. When he says "of course I like you," ask something like "So you DO want to keep seeing me?" Really try to understand what it's like for him to not be direct. Or he might be assuming that you know. Ask him how he thinks you feel. Many ideas here.

I wish you luck.

Ok OP, I'm gonna take a leap here and suggest that your current dilemma really isn't only about trying to understand what he's thinking. I think you're trying to figure out if it's okay to talk about what you want from the relationship, and maybe even get some of your own needs/desires met.

I'm extrapolating this idea from the text you sent him. I think you were kinda hoping he was going to infer what an NT man would have: oh, she wants me to reassure her, let her know I like having her around for more than sex. I think an NT man would have either reassured you, or made it clear that he considers you an FB, and nothing more. An Aspie man is not going to pick up on those kind of nuances: he's going to answer the question you asked him.

I agree with the other posters who've told you to be direct with him. But before you do that, you've got to figure out what it is you want. I'm not suggesting you need to have the "where are we headed" talk - that whole concept can be way too abstract for a couple who hasn't really worked out how to effectively communicate yet.

But what are the concrete things you want from him? Do you want to socialize with your friends as a couple? Do you want to have a standing date? Do you want to not feel awkward about making plans? Do you want to spend time with him without his friends? Do you want to keep a toothbrush at his house?

If you ask him for some solid things that you want - things that will make the relationship more enjoyable for you - and you explain that to him - you'll give yourself a chance to get what you want out of the relationship. If you don't take a very direct approach with him, I think you'll likely stay in relationship limbo with him.

I think you're a little insecure to begin with (aren't we all), and I think you're trying really hard to accommodate his needs. That's not a bad thing - unless it means your own needs aren't being met. Talk to him, hon.

Personally I don't get any impression that he isn't an average guy acting in any one of a number of average guy ways.

But if he does like you, let me ask you this. If this is just how he is, do you want a boyfriend/husband who never initiates anything? Of course this might not be how he is, and might just be how is being as part of some "make her want me"game some NT's tend to play.

After spending two years around a man with AS, I can definitely tell you that every single thing you've described points to that diagnosis to a tee. Even down to the way he worded things when he answered you. Questioning him about his feelings will more than likely aggravate him because of the "logical, literal" way that they think. The responses you get will be abstract, and straight forward because they have difficulty grasping subtlety, sarcasm, non verbal cues, facial expressions, and tone of voice. if you want a direct answer you have to ask a direct question. Never say... How do you feel about me? That's too abstract for them to wrap their head around. If you want to know if he likes you... Say Do you like me? If you want to know if he loves you... Say Do you love me? Always be extremely direct to get the answer you seek. If he has AS, his behavior will never change, and you cannot expect it to or try to make it. Doing so will only confuse and upset him. This is the way he is, and will always be... and there are many things you are probably unaware of yet that comes with being with a person that has AS. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of work, and a lot of understanding on your part. Hope you're up for the challenge.