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CaptainTrips222
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04 Nov 2010, 1:35 pm

I wish I could hack this. Either the bridge had to be burned, or they just flaked out after several years, or it kind of died down. Anyone have friends that they think they'll have forever? I've always had friends, but I don't know if any of them will be for the long haul.

Some people don't, I heard. If you don't, does it bother you?



Wallourdes
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04 Nov 2010, 2:10 pm

Got really sick for a good five years, two walked out on me. With the last one he and I are growing apart from eachother.

Got regular contacts, but no more friends for life.

Really could use some real friends for rough times, but more out for a intimate relationship atm.


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Cicely
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04 Nov 2010, 2:48 pm

Aside from my family (I consider them friends for life), I don't have any. I have a couple friends, but I don't think we'll be friends forever.



CaptainTrips222
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12 Nov 2010, 5:54 pm

I kinda wish more people had thoughts on this.... hey I know, maybe if I bump this...



LolaCrazy
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12 Nov 2010, 6:28 pm

Wellllllll....... I have a close group of friends. Yes, I will probibly still be friends with them in the future when we get old. So that means, I guess, almost forever! The best thing about them is the fact that they think I don't have a disability. At least thats what one of them said.

As far as making friends go I always been more confortable with pepole that have a disability whatever it is. I've always been aganist the "Jhonses" so to speak. I don't know if that's because of my AS or just because thats how I am.



CaptainTrips222
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12 Nov 2010, 6:40 pm

LolaCrazy wrote:
Wellllllll....... I have a close group of friends. Yes, I will probibly still be friends with them in the future when we get old. So that means, I guess, almost forever! The best thing about them is the fact that they think I don't have a disability. At least thats what one of them said.

As far as making friends go I always been more confortable with pepole that have a disability whatever it is. I've always been aganist the "Jhonses" so to speak. I don't know if that's because of my AS or just because thats how I am.


Welllllll.... while I myself have nothing against the "Jonses" it's impossible for me not to compete with them.



Musicprophets
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12 Nov 2010, 6:41 pm

on the subject of making life long friends, i dont see that happening as an absolute certain in any point in my life. Maybe when im settled as the standard husband/father/middle class suburban worker working towards my retirement and thinking about being a grandfather at age 60 and over, i might be finally good to make life long friends.
i haven't carried a group of friends from high school or college so already im losing out on those strong social/emotional bonds. i believe my friends will always be changing and they will not really be friends but just my coworkers and maybe a random person here or there. and i have always been fine with this but at the same time im not okay with it at all. case in point: its a friday night and im in my pjs, on wp, probably going to watch a movie or read a book. days like these make me wish i could be a pro at having life long friends. and my extended family has been absent due to a dispute for over 3 years so all i have really is my sister and my mother.

my history of friends has just been a summary of never being really close at all, never really invited to actively socialize with them, and over time i dont know the person anymore so we just stop talking. it sucks. do you think its a bad sign when i hear my coworkers talk about their friends and always in my mind im thinking "what is a friend?". it seems so easy for them, but for me, no it never has been.



luvmyaspie
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12 Nov 2010, 9:09 pm

I never had close friends until I was 18 and then it was just the one until I turned 40.

We worked at a supermarket together and have been friends ever since. Over the years, I came and went because I didn't settle down like she did. I was a loner who wandered around from town to town and never got close to anyone. Whenever I came to town, I'd look forward to visiting her and it was always as though we had never been apart.

I eventually settled down and came back to live in my home town. That was 10 years ago and our friendship is closer than ever.

About four years ago we both clicked with two other people and, I imagine, the four of us will be friends forever. Not only do I consider them to be true friends and confidants...but they consider me to be a true friend too.

We are a motley crew and are very close. We don't always get along but we get past our differences. We share all our experiences.

They have taught me a lot about how to be a friend and that's the key, in my opinion. It's not about how your friends treat you as much as how you treat them. The rest, I think, just falls into place.

Be prepared to:
Genuinely be interested in them and their affairs instead of monopolising conversations.
Say you're sorry when they point out you've hurt them, instead of arguing that you didn't hurt them.
Step up when they tell you they're stuck instead of just saying the right things and appearing sympathetic.
Respect their opinions instead of trying to have them take on yours.
Listen to their advice whether or not you actually take it instead of shutting them down.
Be there for them no matter what time of day or night.
Let them be their true selves and accept them exactly the way they are.

A true friend will do the same for you. Don't settle for less.

I tend to be quite the opposite of the above when it comes to people who don't matter...and people who don't matter are everyone except my three close friends and my family.

My personal "thing" is that I refuse to be diplomatic with close friends and family.


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fishman
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15 Nov 2010, 1:43 am

Cicely wrote:
Aside from my family (I consider them friends for life), I don't have any. I have a couple friends, but I don't think we'll be friends forever.


It's the same thing with me. Most of my friendships in school rarely lasted past each school year. Luckily my mom and brother have a lot of friends who visit us often, which has allowed them to also become my friends.



Mackica
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17 Nov 2010, 12:00 am

I have a few really close friends,including two from high school,who I know will be friends of mine for life. Keeping in touch is very important to me,especially via real snail mail letter. I realize I am really lucky, one of my friends is so similar to me and practically a sister.I treasure her so much.



CaptainTrips222
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18 Nov 2010, 2:28 pm

Mackica wrote:
I have a few really close friends,including two from high school,who I know will be friends of mine for life. Keeping in touch is very important to me,especially via real snail mail letter. I realize I am really lucky, one of my friends is so similar to me and practically a sister.I treasure her so much.


Awesome. And what about the avatar? Are you guys close? :) <------joke



auntblabby
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19 Nov 2010, 1:41 am

by and large, i have not had friends, only acquaintances. i would be just about anybody's friend and would remain their friend unless they got tired of me. then i would be left wondering, were they MY friend? i value loyalty over all other qualities.



Nambo
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19 Nov 2010, 7:05 pm

I have two friends Ive been friends with since 1968 so will probably be friends for life, I think when you have been friends that long, you are sort of bonded, like a family.
Both share my special interest, one of which is probably AS as well but in our day, such diagnoses where not made, we just got on with it. Maybe thats why we got on so well.



Mackica
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20 Nov 2010, 7:47 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Mackica wrote:
I have a few really close friends,including two from high school,who I know will be friends of mine for life. Keeping in touch is very important to me,especially via real snail mail letter. I realize I am really lucky, one of my friends is so similar to me and practically a sister.I treasure her so much.


Awesome. And what about the avatar? Are you guys close? :) <------joke


no I haven't met that cat in my avatar LOL
not yet at least!