Page 1 of 1 [ 14 posts ] 

HAL_9000
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 262

04 Nov 2010, 1:42 pm

I'm curious; is a person dead ended in life if they're on the Autistic spectrum? I desperately want to achieve something that will make people respect me, instead of just seeing handicapped wierdo #12345325. I'm not hugely smart and I know I'm not going to win a nobel prize, but it seems like hard work at learning isn't enough.

It's like everybody else can cruise past you, not because they're necessarily harder working or brighter, but because social skills unlock so many more doors and avenues. I don't want to be doing crap things that people look down on for the rest of my life, like collecting abandoned trolleys in supermarkets or cleaning public toilets. I want to be respected like every other guy on the street.

Is it possible for Autistic people to break out of this gridlock without social abilities? I don't like the idea of leaving it all to random luck and chance. There has to be some proven method to advance your status without being able to talk to people.



zer0netgain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,784

04 Nov 2010, 1:48 pm

So much depends on your symptoms and your gifts.

Some have gifts that, with some sage advice, they can turn into lucrative careers.

Some have gifts that have little marketability.

Some have symptoms severe enough to hamper ever getting anywhere in life.

Since "social skills" are the key to getting ahead in most cultures, we start out with a huge disadvantage even if our impairment is really just focused on getting along well with others.

I feel my life is a "dead end" of sorts, but then again, at 42, I only learned about AS two years ago. A lot of potential wasted because I had no clue what I was dealing with. Now, my age alone works against me. If I knew what I know now at 16, I would have done so much differently to maximize my potential rather than assume I was like everyone else and try to do things just as everyone else did.



wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

04 Nov 2010, 1:52 pm

HAL_9000 wrote:
instead of just seeing handicapped wierdo #12345325.


Excuse me. But that's MY weirdo registration number. Get your own.


Seriously, apparently success is possible, given the number of positive role models to be found. But the real issue is how YOU define success in life. Since you seem to be assigning a great deal of importance to respect by others, you may find that measure of success more difficult to achieve. Success in the NT world comes easier for NTs because they control the NT world. Expecting success without having to play the game according to NT rules is a tough road to walk.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

04 Nov 2010, 1:53 pm

Pick a path in life you want to pursue and follow it.

1. What do you want to do? Don't know? Think about it?
2. How do you start doing what you want to do? Don't know? Find someone who would and ask how they did it.
3. Figure out how to maneuver yourself into the position that will allow you to follow that path? Do you want to go to college? Speak to a counselor at your community college and find out how to enroll. Go to the financial aid office, ask how to get funding if you need some. Go to the students with disabilities office, tell them you're on the spectrum and find out how to get accommodations if you need them.



ASS-P
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,055
Location: Santa Cruz , CA , USA

04 Nov 2010, 1:56 pm

...Even though I hope for things and I don't want to put you down , from the course of my life thus far - it seems like yes :cry: . I'm sorry :( .



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,103
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

04 Nov 2010, 2:58 pm

Are any of your intrests, a possible lead for a sucsessful career? I know i would use mine, but my executive dysfunction gets in the way. Rocks&Gems can be a lucrative career!


_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light


Jediscraps
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 522

04 Nov 2010, 3:42 pm

I personally don't want to adapt to this world. I find it brutal and depressing. I've been told I lack ambition but they don't know what's going on in my head. I've got my own vision of how the world should be and that's the world I'm going to do my best living my life in. It's not been easy but I've got self respect from it.

I've just had quite a hard time understanding why people can't see things the way I do! Haha. It is true though, ha.

I can understand wanting a better job though.



Moog
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,663
Location: Untied Kingdom

04 Nov 2010, 3:54 pm

I've found it's been useful for propelling me down a path little trodden by the regular folks. Maybe I can bring something useful to others back when I return to civilization proper.

I guess I'm saying, if you're in a dead end, back out and take an alternate route. Everyone's maze is a bit different; there's no one map to take everyone to where they are meant to be.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,440
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 Nov 2010, 10:22 pm

no matter which direction i went, it always cul-de-sac'ed in failure alley. so i stopped trying. being free of disappointment is a good thing.



Alex_M
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 110

04 Nov 2010, 11:54 pm

I've found (by trial and error mostly, LOL) that the easiest way to break the ice in social relationships is to surround yourself with people who share your special interests. For example, feminism and economic justice are my passions, and when I went to social work school, I met others who shared these interests and was able to start friendships based upon initial conversations about these common interests.



Chama
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 165

05 Nov 2010, 12:00 am

It varies from person to person... mostly it depends on what you think is having a good or successful life! For every person it's different, and sometimes if you spend too much effort trying to do things that aren't meant for you or putting too much value in what the world considers successful you can miss your own personal potential.



parrow
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 154

05 Nov 2010, 12:03 am

I know it's not confirmed, and it's just internet rumors, but the rumors of those with aspergers include Albert Einstein and Bill Gates. I mean I guess you could say Bill Gates has hit a dead end since once you are the richest man in the world what more can you really do?



Todesking
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,088
Location: Depew NY

05 Nov 2010, 1:41 am

Every time I try something I seem to fail. So far every job I have managed to land has been low paying or I am usually the lowest paid person working for the company even when I go above and beyond my job expectations. My special intrests are usually in things that have no marketable outlets except stopmotion animation which I have been told is extremely hard to get a job in. :cry: Now I am putting out resumes while trying not to let all the rejections I get let me fall into depression.


_________________
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die -Hunter S. Thompson


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,440
Location: the island of defective toy santas

05 Nov 2010, 10:06 pm

parrow wrote:
I know it's not confirmed, and it's just internet rumors, but the rumors of those with aspergers include Albert Einstein and Bill Gates. I mean I guess you could say Bill Gates has hit a dead end since once you are the richest man in the world what more can you really do?


bill gates is one of the few high muckety-mucks who actually is trying to ascend to the top of maslow's hierarchy of needs, that of spiritual self-actualization. he is putting his money where his mouth is, in trying to fix a few of this world's problems. it is mostly enlightened self-interest but it is still a lot better than just buying more gold-plated shower stalls for more mcmansions. what he is doing is what one can do once one has grabbed the brass ring of earthly riches.