Newbie With Questions Re: 3 year old..

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number5
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20 Nov 2010, 8:43 pm

Try not to be too stressed about it (I know, easier said than done :) ). If you have concerns, then there's certainly no harm in having an evaluation done. Some docs may or may not recommend an evaluation for somewhat vague characteristics in a toddler, so you may need to be a bit assertive about it. Another avenue for evaluation may be directly through the school district, depending on your location. I don't believe that any medical reference is required for this and it should be at no cost to you.

I'm no doctor, but some of these behaviors sound a little more like either ADHD or PDD-NOS to me than AS. Or, of course, it could just be that he's 3. He actually sounds a lot like my most favorite nephew who has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS. My son has AS and with him at that age, the biggest tell-tale signs were special interest obsession, strange vocabulary, and constantly lining up objects.

The spectrum is very broad. There are no one-size-fits-all parameters. None of the behaviors you described really sound like red flags, but if your parental worry alarm is sounding, check it out. Do some research and try to avoid the doomsday doctors/advisers. There are an awful lot of downers out there, but the truth is it's really just a difference. Stay positive, focus on the good stuff and learn strategies for the harder stuff. No matter what happens, he's still the same little boy that you love to death. Best of luck!



missykrissy
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20 Nov 2010, 8:56 pm

could be something, could be nothing. the doctor can assess him better than we can but you already know that. with my children, my aspie was pretty typical developmentally at that age. she hit all her milestones ahead of others, spoke fluently at 18 months old and was reading and writing by 4. she was well ahead of most of her peers but had some odd behaviours. she liked to smell everything, and bark at people sometimes. she was also very social at that age. she was diagnosed aspie at 9. i don't worry too much about her though. i do what i can to help her and yeah, she sure knows how to be a handful but because she is high functioning she has just as good of a chance at leading a productive life as any 'normal' person would(more in my personal opinion because of the high iq and her love of reading and ability to zone into things she enjoys) then on another part of the spectrum is my 5yo. let me tell you, when he came to us all he did was cry. cry and cry and cry and he's still crying most of the time. when i finally found a doctor who would listen to us after hearing 'he's fine' and 'i don't beleive in autism' and 'he's just high strung' he was diagnose right away. he has so many behaviour problems i don't even know where to begin. for him i do worry, alot... about how we will get through the day and what will happen to him when he grows up. i can't say that if things keep going as they are that he'll be able to lead an independant life as an adult..
now my point is, your son is smart and is doing well other than a few minor behaviour things. if he does get diagnosed with as or something else he will still be those things and grow up to be highly successful so as long as you keep encouraging him and nurturing him as you are. sometimes autism can be a disability, sometimes it gives them an advantage. it all depends on the severity and what symptoms are there so try not to worry yourself too much about it if it's not disrupting his life or yours. hope you find the answers you are looking for. (:



gibson
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20 Nov 2010, 9:17 pm

Thanks for the replies.
We have an appointment with his doctor in a couple of weeks, so we'll see what she says.

Cheers



momsparky
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20 Nov 2010, 9:30 pm

I think the Autism support community has done parents a disservice by saying that "early intervention is critical." That is not to say there aren't times where this is true: e.g. cases where the child has obvious and serious early deficits, e.g. is nonverbal, completely withdrawn, etc. However, if your child isn't in distress and is able to communicate, I think (with your doctor's support) a wait and see approach isn't a bad idea; you can deal with things as intervention is warranted. I think sometimes the mandate for early intervention causes unnecessary concern. Don't worry - even though we missed what it was, it was immediately obvious both at home and at school when DS needed help at the age of 4.

I'd also like to reassure you - it sounds like you are scared, and I can't blame you. However, just from reading how observant you are, I am sure you will be able to deal with whatever comes your way. While all the support we're getting right now for my 10yo is really helpful, the more I learn, the more I find that, as concerned parents, we've generally been on track...and our mistakes (and boy, have we made those) were not the problem. (Meaning, while DS has significant and difficult issues, but like many parents of kids on the spectrum, we are discovering that they were not caused by bad parenting. )

In the meantime, I'd follow DW's advice - which is good general parenting advice anyway.



Stubbydog
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20 Nov 2010, 9:57 pm

I don't have any answers, but am right there with you and just wanted to give you a virtual hug. :) I posted about my son a few days ago too, he's also 3. We are taking the wait-and-see approach, and treating anything that he seems to need help with in the meantime (he has been somewhat speech delayed).



gibson
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21 Nov 2010, 7:26 am

Thx Stubby, hope everything works out. I'll post any updates we have.



number5
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21 Nov 2010, 1:57 pm

momsparky wrote:
I think the Autism support community has done parents a disservice by saying that "early intervention is critical." That is not to say there aren't times where this is true: e.g. cases where the child has obvious and serious early deficits, e.g. is nonverbal, completely withdrawn, etc. However, if your child isn't in distress and is able to communicate, I think (with your doctor's support) a wait and see approach isn't a bad idea; you can deal with things as intervention is warranted.


I agree. I remember being in the early stages and almost having a panic attack over a wait list for therapy. In hindsight, it was really no big deal at all. There seems to be a lot of pressure about getting early intervention asap, but it's not always necessary. Sometimes it is, but not always.



cron