How did you learn Social Skills?

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It depends. If I ask my Mom, she usually answers. She knows me well and she's a logical-minded NT who doesn't like people, so she knows what I mean.
My NT friend X knows I'm weird (she's seen who she chose to be her friend!), so she's pretty used to questions like this. Unfortunately, only some answers are useful. She's too emotional.
Other NTs: sometimes I ask somebody Why did Y say this? I didn't understand his intentions... and they answer something. They often don't tell me exactly what I want, but I know I shouldn't ask more, because they're not friendly NTs.

I've yet to learn any great social skills. My plan is to generally keep quiet because then I won't say anything inappropriate.

I went through therapy and counseling as a kid in that area. As an adult, I'm told by some people I'm inept and others that I do fine, so I think it's situational

Friends who were willing to go over every rule one at a time so I could learn by rote. I apparently annoy the crud outta them because I can't apply one lesson to another situation. I have to learn anew each time. *shrugs*

I don't worry about anything now that I've realized they don't actually string you up and hang you for doing something wrong. I used to be terrified of mistakes, but I thought social errors meant death. I figured they'd take me out and shoot me, like a lame horse, or hang me, or burn me alive. Without THAT stress, social things aren't too bad. I scare 99% of everyone and the rest stick around and are amazing friends.

I've never lost a job due to them knowing I was autistic. Only due to my being incapable of doing said job (usually due to being autistic, but it was merited, not prejudiced). Actually, my coworkers knowing is handy. They all recognize when I'm especially flappy and sort of shield me or help me calm back down I think it's all a matter of how you approach it. I tend towards "I'm so awesome because I'm autistic. I don't suffer your stupid silly social rules that stagnate you. That's why you should adore me", and so they do. If you approach it "I cannot do things right because I'm autistic, and sometimes it makes me difficult" they won't want to help you.

What bothers you about scaring people? Or upsetting them? That sounds, to me, like the real crux of the issue here.

Gregor S. topic

Love your pic of Franz. Back on the topic at hand, I think I learned most of them here.

gotta love WP

Obviously I haven't learned em. I managed to piss off a member of this forum kinda unintentionally. For some reason I had to type something and I did. Hilarity and Rage ensued because of my very misanthropic and dark post. Kinda sorry I did that, but w/e. I don't have a feeling that anyone on this site is going to drastically change my life. Crap, what am I saying you already do by Informing me about myself through reading of your own personal trials. For that I do thank you all. Have a great day.

That's how my social skills are. Occasionally my mouth will get me into a little innocent trouble. Usually just keep quiet.

One learns social navigation the hard way; by being in society and taking the knocks and pushes that come with being in society. It is like learning to ride a bike. You learn to ride a bike by mounting up on a bike and taking your share of spills and scrapes until you get it right or you give up.

ruveyn

What's Social Skills??

I went to a special adolescent unit although of course then (1979) Asperger's wasn't known about. However, I was with other autistic children and was taught social skills along with them. Whether I have learned them well is another matter!

1. Reading pop psychology books on body language and 'how to win friends and influence ppl' or whatever it is.
2. Copying other people in same situation
3. Erring on side of caution and being very careful not to offend anyone (which I later discover doesn't work because my idea of not offending someone is not the universal idea of not offending someone if you get me...)

If my mom yelled at me for picking my nose in public around her then I learned that picking your nose in public is not socially acceptable. Etc.

Honestly, my social skills are in a constant state of evolvement of a postive level...

I learned social skills a few ways:

First, I observed people.
Second, I mimicked my sister who has really, really good social skills (she has a few Aspie traits, but she's NT).
And lastly, I like psychology and sociology, so I guess you could say I "studied" social skills. I find that magazines that give tips like fashion and flirting are good indicators of what's socially acceptable in terms of social skills - particularly those "Help!" columns where people submit their stories and the columnists reply to them. They might be fake or ridiculous, but they have uses.

Then I used my knowledge and attempted social situations, failed a lot, but kept trying.

Umm, my social skills, as much as there are some, are learned the hard way, by trial and failure. Also, some mimicking of my elder brother, but then he died when I was 15 so I never managed to move beyond that emotional age.

I mainly pieced it together from sugar packets.

(100 pts to the 1st person to guess where that quote comes from).