Is it a good idea to tell friends about aspergers

Page 1 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next


Is it best to tell people at the start of a friendship that you have aspergers?
Yes 27%  27%  [ 23 ]
No 73%  73%  [ 63 ]
Total votes : 86

KnowRainSupreme
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 83

04 Dec 2010, 9:56 pm

Maybe when you get into a relationship, or start to, if the problems are severe enough. It all depends on how seriously it affects social interaction.

Friendship? Naaaahhh.



Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,452
Location: East China Sea

08 Dec 2010, 7:12 pm

Not at the start of a friendship, and not unless they've started revealing their inner-most secrets to you first.

It also depends on how severe your AS is; if it's mild, I wouldn't bother. If it's severe and they're starting to go 'wtf' every second sentence, then maybe.



markko
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 107
Location: Wisconsin, USA

15 Dec 2010, 11:35 am

I pick and choose who I tell. For those that I've told, it's helped the relationships. It helps to explain why I don't laugh at some of their jokes, why I don't look them in the eye, and so on. It's actually spurred some of them to take it upon themselves to research Aspergers. In those cases, it's actually helped the friendship bond.



Chummy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,343
Location: Location

16 Dec 2010, 1:10 am

I have one friend who I know years back and still see almost every day. I think that you have to be friends with that person for long and learn whether he will understand or not (in my case he certainly will). If you are completely sure, go for it. I personally share secrets with this friend so if I decide to tell him I wouldn't even worry a tiny bit. Right now nobody knows I have it except my familiy and thousands of people in this site 8)



DocStrange
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 940
Location: Florida

16 Dec 2010, 1:32 am

Most of the time I let them figure it out, if they didn't already know prior.

What i've found is that some people have preconceived notions of someone who's autistic or has AS thanks to the media, and once I tell some people, I notice they act differently (usually they act overly nicer to me, which I find discomforting) from how they did before. Most people I know that I haven't told/didn't know before, just think i'm a little bit weird or eccentric, which doesn't affect their notions of me and i'm far better off with this than them suddenly acting differently towards me.

Most of my closest friends, though, when I tell them/knew already, don't really care and don't act any different towards me and some of them have even forgotten.


_________________
here be dragons


Pseudeos
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 387
Location: Australiaagh

17 Dec 2010, 11:04 pm

If they are real friends who will accept you for who you are, then you could tell them. Though it is none of their business...


_________________
"Are we not in the hands of a lunatic? God isn?t interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the micro-chip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time; 43 species of parrot! Nipples for men!"


RoadWarrior7
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
Location: Gainesville, Florida

28 Dec 2010, 12:03 pm

Disclosing your diagnosis can be a very touchy subject. Unless your behavioral anomalies are likely to become obvious, I would recommend a wait and see approach in "coming out". I use the term "coming out" because disclosing AS is very similar to a lesbian or gay man coming out of the closet...and facing the possibility of losing friends as a result of their prejudice. Be careful.


_________________
Labels are for jars...and folders.
Closets are for clothes...fabulous clothes.
Normal is a city in Illinois. I am not a city in Illinois. I am just a man.


Ai_Ling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,891

13 Apr 2011, 7:48 pm

Id say you should disclose aspergers to your friends after you've known for a while and if you think them knowing would be beneficial to the friendship. But heres the thing from my experiance, it doesnt really make a huge differences. Sometimes my friends have forgotten and not really thought about it unless I kept on emphasising to them(which I wouldnt recogmend). Like they know Im socially clueless, I tell em I have aspergers, and then they still wonder why Im socially clueless? :?:



daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

14 Apr 2011, 11:51 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
Id say you should disclose aspergers to your friends after you've known for a while and if you think them knowing would be beneficial to the friendship. But heres the thing from my experiance, it doesnt really make a huge differences. Sometimes my friends have forgotten and not really thought about it unless I kept on emphasising to them(which I wouldnt recogmend). Like they know Im socially clueless, I tell em I have aspergers, and then they still wonder why Im socially clueless? :?:


this has been my experience as well........nonetheless I think you should disclose to your friends.............



VMSmith
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,735
Location: the old country

23 Apr 2011, 8:56 am

there are times when i feel i have to. they come rarely but their purpose is to weed out the ignorant(like this kid at my youth group who decided to tell all that having a relationship with an autistic person was a bad idea because we're all tempermental and slow. turns out someone else at my group has an asd and he and most everyone else put her right) and leave those who would be good friends or to foster understanding of my lack of social skills. sometimes i just don't feel like lying about everything all the time. it shouldn't be done if you're uncomfortable about it obviously. its a personal thing.



Wyldfaery
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 26
Location: California

25 Apr 2011, 3:24 am

The only people who have reacted negatively to my diagnosis are those who have later proven themselves to be people whose personalities are simply incompatible with my own.
All of my close friends and most of my acquaintances are aware that I have Asperger's syndrome and are very supportive and understanding. I exclude from my previous statement those friends of mine who themselves have been diagnosed with ASDs not because they aren't supportive or understanding but because they understand what it is like to have Asperger's or NVLD and, so, they understand by default.



littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

25 Apr 2011, 10:38 am

I chose no because I will tell close friends, but not everyone and not as soon as I meet them.



Nim
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: Away

25 Apr 2011, 3:07 pm

My mother told my aunt, who told everyone else.

Now everyone treats me funny...



Grete
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,124

26 Apr 2011, 2:50 am

No, I wouldn´t. They can easily see the way I behave.



Taylor1002
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,053

07 May 2011, 2:17 pm

I only tell close friends/family members who understand and are trustworthy. Some people handle things like this poorly and I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing it with somebody I don't know very well.



Reindeer
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 372

07 May 2011, 5:13 pm

I'm walking around and trying to tell my friends but it's hard!


_________________
AS: 132
NT: 36
AQ: 40