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Feeling angry and unforgiving towards my parents

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spacecadetdave
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04 Dec 2010, 11:25 am

MidlifeAspie wrote:
spacecadetdave wrote:
You're mothers forced your boney heads through their pelvic girdles without complaint and your Dads did soul destroying jobs to feed you all and all you do is complain and whine about them?


What do you know about my father's job? Maybe projecting a little?


Not projecting at all. I'm not one of the spoilt whining kids complaining about their parents.

In future can this topic be discussed on the general or adolescent forums? I only read the "Adult" section of this board to stay away from all the "parents don't understand me" and the "why don't girls like me" threads.



spacecadetdave
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04 Dec 2010, 11:26 am

MidlifeAspie wrote:
spacecadetdave wrote:
You're mothers forced your boney heads through their pelvic girdles without complaint and your Dads did soul destroying jobs to feed you all and all you do is complain and whine about them?


What do you know about my father's job? Maybe projecting a little?


Sorry..... Missed the obvious trick... should have replied:

So you admit your heads boney then?

:)



Niamh
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04 Dec 2010, 11:32 am

League_Girl wrote:
I never understood favoritism, it's a way to make a child have low self esteem and have the inferior complex.

My parents never did this. They treated us all the same.


I hope to be like your parents!

spacecadetdave wrote:
You're mothers forced your boney heads through their pelvic girdles without complaint and your Dads did soul destroying jobs to feed you all and all you do is complain and whine about them?

Get over yourselves.


There's more to parenting than birth and feeding.



spacecadetdave
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04 Dec 2010, 11:44 am

Niamh wrote:
spacecadetdave wrote:
You're mothers forced your boney heads through their pelvic girdles without complaint and your Dads did soul destroying jobs to feed you all and all you do is complain and whine about them?

Get over yourselves.


Nobody should have kids unless they're ready to accept ALL of the responsibilities involved. And nobody gets it right 100% of the time but they most certainly don't have any excuses when it comes to deliberately causing suffering to any of their children. If you're going to tell people not to rant about their parents, try considering the actual roles of a parent first, other than squeezing us out of the womb and working hard to feed us. By the way, a person's line of work is not often degrading especially in modern times. In my own Dad's case, he's passionate about his work. My mother did degrading work all her life but rarely full-time and never for more than 6 months at a time.


Are you suggesting that parents referred to in posts on this thread were "deliberately" harming their children? Have you phoned the authorities? Sorry... it just sounded like ungrateful young people complaining to me. I must have got the wrong end of the stick.



spacecadetdave
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04 Dec 2010, 11:46 am

Niamh wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I never understood favoritism, it's a way to make a child have low self esteem and have the inferior complex.

My parents never did this. They treated us all the same.


I hope to be like your parents!

spacecadetdave wrote:
You're mothers forced your boney heads through their pelvic girdles without complaint and your Dads did soul destroying jobs to feed you all and all you do is complain and whine about them?

Get over yourselves.


There's more to parenting than birth and feeding.



I've got four children of my own thank you. I think I know more than you on this subject.



Niamh
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05 Dec 2010, 11:58 am

In my case, yes, there was harm and at a later point, neglect, and it was deliberate. No, I didn't phone the authorities because in my childhood, I didn't know any different and resigned to it, and in my teens I knew that my rights were being denied but I didn't want to act on it because I was afraid that I would be treated worse. Congratulations on having four children and, I presume, being a responsible parent who doesn't harm/neglect your children or witness harm done to them without acting on it. The thread is about parents' favouritism and the damage done by it, and favouritism played a big role in the abuse I got. If you haven't had problems in this area, then it's unfair that you should come here giving out to people who have. Not all people do this kind of stuff with their kids and good for them, but some of us are a little less fortunate and just because our parents brought us into the world and kept us there, reluctantly or otherwise, it does not mean that they have the right to harm our wellbeing.



spacecadetdave
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05 Dec 2010, 12:13 pm

I'm not harming your well being. I'm asking that you move the subject somewhere else.



Niamh
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05 Dec 2010, 12:20 pm

spacecadetdave wrote:
I'm not harming your well being. I'm asking that you move the subject somewhere else.


Accusing people of being spoilt when they're making it very clear that they're not spoilt, and directing anger at them for talking through it, is certainly harmful as it constitutes bullying.
If you want the topic moved, request to the mods, or to the person who put it here, that it be moved. This is the first time in all your comments on this topic that you asked for it to be moved. But there are no reasons for it to be moved to another section as an adult posted it to an adults' forum.



spacecadetdave
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08 Dec 2010, 10:57 am

Niamh wrote:
spacecadetdave wrote:
I'm not harming your well being. I'm asking that you move the subject somewhere else.


Accusing people of being spoilt when they're making it very clear that they're not spoilt, and directing anger at them for talking through it, is certainly harmful as it constitutes bullying.
If you want the topic moved, request to the mods, or to the person who put it here, that it be moved. This is the first time in all your comments on this topic that you asked for it to be moved. But there are no reasons for it to be moved to another section as an adult posted it to an adults' forum.


In-Depth Adult Life Discussion

"In-depth intelligent discussion for the older adults who have been living independently. It's recommended that you are age 30 and up and have the experience of living independently or in long-term partnerships. Adults younger than 30 can participate but we ask that you respect the maturity level of this forum."


This is the part of the board where parents b***h about their kids, not the other way around. You obviously have issues with your parents and I wish you luck sorting them out. It is not, however, a mature issue by the definition of this part of the board. "Mature" folk have generally got this part of their life sorted out one way or another.

I will enjoy discussing this with you further in a decade or two when our perspectives are more in tune with each other and with the board on which they are posted.



Niamh
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08 Dec 2010, 11:06 am

Ok so. Thanks for giving a much calmer response.