I would really like women's opinion on this news clip

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John_Browning
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01 Dec 2010, 1:09 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs5L2R2lZAU[/youtube]
What do you think?


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MotherKnowsBest
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01 Dec 2010, 6:52 am

That is heartrending both as a female with Asperger's and as a parent of a girl with Asperger's. The part where she is trying to get a ball to play with brought tears to my eyes. Been there, done that, got the scars, seen the same in my daughter. Very, very sad. Then at the end when someone says it's a parenting issue. Got that scar too. :(



Janissy
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01 Dec 2010, 8:37 am

I think the clip was well done and far superior to any of the clips Autism Speaks has done.

So many times when my daughter was Kaidae's age, she would come home from school and describe recess in just exactly the same way it was filmed here. What was filmed in that gym at recess is exactly the way my daughter described it. It made me cry to watch the clip and see filmed what she had described.

I wish this clip could replace the "screaming demon" montages that Autism Speaks uses.



number5
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01 Dec 2010, 10:04 am

:cry: Sad, true, and I can certainly relate, especially with the idea of girls masking it to please.



bhetti
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01 Dec 2010, 6:51 pm

good clip. the part where they talk about the school staff member thinking it's a parenting issue... ouch. that hurts so much. I got a lot of that from everywhere before my son was dx'd.

as a girl I masked to please, but could never maintain for long. that was a long time ago so I wouldn't have got an AS dx anyway.



Jellybean
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04 Dec 2010, 11:30 am

Its a very good video. It would be so easy without knowing that she was autistic, to judge her behaviour as being 'rude' or 'spoilt'. Heck, My Grandma was constantly telling my Mum I acted like a spoiled brat or that I was bad at manners. The truth couldn't have been further away, see my Mum taught manners to me and my brother on a daily basis, but I didn't understand them very well. As for the spoilt thing, very few kids who get their toys from older relatives and Oxfam shops are spoilt. The majority of my stuff was second hand and I appreciated it.

If it was a boy behaving like this, people would be more accepting of it because they would probably guess there was something 'wrong' with him or something but people are so quick to judge girls because we are often seen as 'socially superior' to boys in general so when one of us 'goes wrong' people assume it is poor parenting.

Girls with autism are misunderstood and videos like this help us a lot.


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starygrrl
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04 Dec 2010, 4:45 pm

This was a well done piece from the MSM. It didn't cover everything, but I think it was much better at covering the basics than most. Heartbreaking to watch, but at least accurate.



Squirrelrat
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08 Dec 2010, 1:51 am

Definitely true, and Kydae reminds me of myself at that age.



katzefrau
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08 Dec 2010, 5:02 am

heartbreaking .. as for bad parenting, why are the other girls not taught to share and include her?
their behavior is rude. and they don't have the excuse of not knowing.


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ediself
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08 Dec 2010, 6:16 am

this is very sad indeed, i was watching and waiting for them to explain: how DO you approach children in a way that they will accept to play with you? this is one of my still unanswered question, and my son is facing the same issue.
it doesn't cover everything like someone else said, but it's "understanding"enough that it feels good to know some people are trying to get it, they probably even do, but they have not written it all down yet. it's great. This is useful research and might help a lot of little girls in the future.
why it is easier for boys in my opinion, at least until the age of 8 or 9, they run around a lot. girls have social games, boys are more physical, not knowing certain things affect their social life a little less. but there is always a time when it stops being easy, even boys can't spend their whole school life running.



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08 Dec 2010, 1:25 pm

Gosh, that was painful. :( Poor girls. Unfortunately I was like those, and I know how painful it can be.
Being a small girl with autism can be so terrible. Most of the games girls play are social, and being without such skills. It's very hard to develop such skills when no one wants to include one in these games.

@katzefrau: I agree - a part of good parenting is also teaching one's children to be kind to others. The teachers should also do something to help the children get along. When I changed school when I was 9, I was helped by teachers, even though I wasn't diagnosed back then. They were very caring and were willing to cut out some of the teaching to discuss problems in the class. :]



Chronos
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11 Dec 2010, 6:21 pm

Quite honestly, I this was well done, for once.



MONKEY
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11 Dec 2010, 6:32 pm

I was almost as clueless as that little girl was when I was her age, ah those are the days. :roll:
Watching that though makes me hope that I wasn't as annoying, although I have a feeling a was.


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11 Dec 2010, 7:57 pm

I was the same as Kaede, insofar as I would spend recess going around asking other kids if I could play with them, only to get "no" as an answer every single time. I didn't have meltdowns like hers though - my meltdowns have mostly been me hiding in my room and quietly crying to myself.

My voice sounds just like those college girls' voices.



Chronos
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11 Dec 2010, 10:43 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I was the same as Kaede, insofar as I would spend recess going around asking other kids if I could play with them, only to get "no" as an answer every single time. I didn't have meltdowns like hers though - my meltdowns have mostly been me hiding in my room and quietly crying to myself.

My voice sounds just like those college girls' voices.


I rarely asked the other children if I could play with them...it usually didn't go very well.



gingerpig
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12 Dec 2010, 4:16 pm

Oh gosh, thanks for that. My little girl is "probably" autistic (speech and language therapist suspects, but not confirmed by psych. yet). She is 3 and a hald and really loves being with other kids but just doesn't "get" the whole playing thing. Mind you, neither did I as a kid and I've learnt over the years how to, but it's been hard and I still worry. I'm apparently NT.

It is really frustrating as she plays physically and non verbally with other children, but of course the ones that do that at pre school are all boys, and they are very noisy which triggers her noise sensory issues. So she get's stuck both ways. She is starting to mimic adults laughing and things like that, which is, well just whatever it is. I'm trying to talk to her about sad/happy faces but I find it quite hard myself.

The other kids were quite patient in that video, but we didn't see what happened when the camera's weren't there. It's a shame they weren't able to share more, I think that large class sizes like that can be quite frightening even for NT kids and make them less likely to share or be compassionate.