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Meggo
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03 Dec 2010, 10:33 pm

For years, I punished myself for doing things others thought were weird, uncool, or non-conventional. I tried everything I could to be "normal". I tried to tell jokes that I thought others would find funny, but I just sounded stupid or they were extremely awkward, I went to parties as a teenager, because that was expected of me, but I was always a wallflower. I liked to watch what others did. That's how I learned the motions to mimic to ease the moments of alienation splattered throughout my life. People deemed me stuck-up. I didn't feel I was better than anyone. I just couldn't relate to what I felt was illogical behavior of gossiping and acting out. As I was teased, rumors were spread, and my heart was broken by boys who couldn't understand me, I became more introverted.

When I moved away from my hometown, I tried to become more extroverted. No one knew me, so I could start anew. I found it a little easier to make friends and I got a long-term bf, but I still had these obsessions that people mistook for other things - like my obsession with movies for laziness or my obsession with paying off my bills as playing on the computer (I was working). I was still socially awkward and responded strongly to things others just brushed off, like changes in my routine or loud volumes. I felt so confused. I couldn't understand why people couldn't always see what I saw the way I saw it. I had no one I could fully relate to.

Then, I stumbled across a Squidoo lens where a woman explained what it was like for her as an Aspie. I started crying, because everything she wrote was me. So, I researched Asperger's and took an official psychology test that measured my likelihood of having Asperger's. My results were very high.

Reading the stories of other Aspies has left me feeling more content. I feel like there is a place where I fit in.

My mother tested too and her results were very high. I suppose I got it from her.

I'm here to find a way to cope better with my constantly changing workplace and to find a way to tell my other loved ones. I keep imagining they'll just brush-off my news, because it's too alien for them.

I look forward to sharing with all of you.



Megz
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03 Dec 2010, 10:56 pm

Hi! I'm new here too. I'm also looking forward to sharing with everyone



Shadi2
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04 Dec 2010, 12:11 am

Welcome to WrongPlanet Meggo :)

You may have found your online home here at WP, I like this website very much myself.

Looking forward to sharing with you too :)

Shadi


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sterfry
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04 Dec 2010, 2:32 am

Welcome. There are plenty of understanding people on here as I am sure you will find out.



KnowRainSupreme
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04 Dec 2010, 2:36 am

I feel the same way, it's easy to live a life in denial. Pretending to be NT will probably never work to well. :D Just hang in there!



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04 Dec 2010, 4:52 am

Welcome Meggo!

While it's not easy being different, you may have found there are gifts with your condition too. You probably know a lot about movies, and I'm pretty sure you're better at paying bills than I am, lol. I too never fit in, and it is refreshing to know that many other people have some of the same issues with the way they experience life. It's also a little depressing that there are so many with similar issues. However, as we learn more about autism and the knowledge spreads, perhaps the general public will be more understanding. Also, while I'm not saying anyone on the spectrum needs to be "cured" (our brains are wired differently, not necessarily better or worse than neurotypicals), there are some things I would like changed if medical science can find ways to help: my sensitivity to sensory issues, my inability to read social cues. These are definite disadvantages at least when it comes to interacting with the world and with other people.

I am sorry you were teased and misunderstood. I'm not saying I'm the one who did these things; I'm saying I'm sorry it happened to you too. I can so relate. This site is awesome. Namaste, TBG


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Brainfre3ze_93
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04 Dec 2010, 9:20 am

Welcome!


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JetLag
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04 Dec 2010, 11:46 am

Welcome to the Wrong Planet community, Meggo.


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Tim_Tex
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04 Dec 2010, 1:24 pm

Welcome to WP!


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superboyian
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04 Dec 2010, 4:58 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet.net forums, care for a free muffin? :wink:


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Meggo
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05 Dec 2010, 11:14 am

Thank you everyone!



richie
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05 Dec 2010, 1:31 pm

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To WrongPlanet!! !Image


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05 Dec 2010, 2:36 pm

Welcome!


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Adam_Raki
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05 Dec 2010, 3:14 pm

Welcome to your new "WrongPlanet home" Meggo!! !!

I totally understand your situation.
I hope that you will appreciate this website as much as I do.
Here, you will find aspies, NTs, and a lot of open-minded and understanding people.

If you have any questions, or want to discuss about any topic, do not hesitate! :)

Take care :)


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05 Dec 2010, 4:03 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet. :)

The WP Kink


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