Age of self-awareness.

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KWifler
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02 Jan 2014, 3:33 am

I was always saying very intelligent things about the sermons in church when I was first able to speak (maybe 2?).
When my mom tried to show me off to other people, I would go into shock and become a babbling snotty mess.
My only solace during the many years before school age was when I watched Mr Data learning life lessons on Star Trek TNG, and when I listened to Spock's analyses of human behavior. Those two characters were my only knowledge of intelligent life until I was allowed to talk to adults about scientific subjects. I always wondered how the Vulcans could let a bunch of 'humans' run a star ship.

I've never really been interested in entertainment of any kind, not even the mainstream factual form of entertainment. I am only interested in creating innovation and progress, solving real world problems, the bigger the scale, the better. Also the study of such innovations throughout history, although I have weak eyes and am unable to read much without getting headaches.



Campin_Cat
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21 May 2014, 6:36 pm

I would say I became aware of my being different when I was around 3 years old. I didn't have to wait until I got to school and was around other kids because I saw how different I was from the people (family) I was already around. I can clearly remember standing in the middle of the living room floor and giving a soliliquy about "this one's like this, but I'm not like that", and "that one's like that, but I'm not like that"----"who am I like"? I was very smart though I was categorized as stupid-----in retrospect, I wasn't being challenged.

My mother wanted to hold me back in school because I started first grade when I was 5 (they didn't have kindergarten when I started school and my birthday is late in the year.); (I probably should've been advanced), but the Vice Principal wouldn't let her. She tested me and I was reading at the 6th grade level when I was 5. I knew how to tell time, knew my ABCs, knew how to read, knew how to do VERY BASIC math, i.e. 2+2 kind of stuff, knew how to do subtraction-----all at 5 years old-----before then, really. So, my mother couldn't sell them on "slow", so then she told them she thought I was autistic. (Meanwhile she continued to call me "stupid" constantly, and told me I acted like a retard----or, that I did things like people in a mental institution did.) They sent me to a psychiatrist. The woman asked me if I knew what I was doing there; I told her "no", and that I thought it was my mother who should be there. LOL My sister always did call me "an old soul". I thought my mother was out to get me. They put me in Special Ed. I thought they were all a bunch of idiots.

Years later I had a teacher tell me how great my paper was and why didn't I do that ALL the time. I thought to myself: "Why don't you give me good assignments all the time?". (I put that on another thread, too.)

Anyway..... Years later I heard someone talking on TV about ADHD, and all kinds of lightbulbs went-off----that was sooooo ME!! !! Little did I know it only explained a PORTION of me. I got Dx with ADHD.

A few years ago (late 40s), my doctor said she thought I had Asperger's----tested me, and diagnosed me as such. Wha'd'ya know? Ol' Mom was RIGHT!! !!



HarmonySeptember
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19 Jun 2014, 10:51 pm

For me it was age eleven. Before that, I was so caught up in my dream world of ballet, swans, singing, and satin ribbon that I did not think of questioning anything about myself. I was a shallow child.


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sport
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20 Mar 2020, 12:15 pm

I just could't get a hold of life things didn't fit right and was told your not trying.This was when just being school.



nick007
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12 Apr 2020, 11:55 pm

I felt different since I started Kindergarten but I have some physical disabilities & learning disabilities in addition to my autism. I was bullied alot throughout elementary school & majorly struggled with lots of school subjects. I'm also extremely nearsighted even with glasses & I also had some occasional physical therapy at school cuz I had bad motor skills.
I didn't become aware of Aspergers thou till after I graduated high-school when my mom told me. I never heard of Aspergers before.


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Joseki
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14 Apr 2020, 9:33 am

I was aware of my struggles since late elementary school. I didn't put "autism" in the mix of self-understanding until I was in my early 30s and I took an online neurodiversity quiz out of curiosity of whether my difficulties might have been Asperger's. That quiz declared that I was, in fact, unequivocally neurodiverse. That was when I first took seriously the fact there was really something different about me, and that my perception of being different wasn't just my imagination.


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Pieplup
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15 Jul 2020, 4:32 pm

I pretty much Always new I was different. My dad said I learned to walk and talk earlier than usual. But struggled to learn potty training and and some other stuff. (wasn't potty trained untill age 3 1/2-4 and continued to wet the bet till about age 10.) I was also absolutely obsessed with Nemo. Until age 4. Early on I was diagnosed with adhd (Idk when but before the age of 3. I also acted up really badly at pre-school. I also remember starting into empty space while other kids were napping, but I didn't think much of that 5-6 When the teachers started to notice my writing was bad and not getting better. That got noticed and I got diagnosed with dysgraphia. I Also was in speech therapy, because I had problems pronouncing sounds correctly. but that got resolved (came back after burnout). Weirdly enough despite knowing that I had friends in kindergarten, I completely lost the ability to make friends. I didn't really think much of that. (though i'm sure being bullied by my first grade teacher didn't help either) at 3rd grade I started reading at a high-school level. I started to notice that I was noticeably different (i mean in ways that aren't explained by the things i've already listed) from other kids and that gave me social anxiety around age 9-10. (was diagnosed with social phobia at the same time I was diagnosed with PDD-nos) I was going to OT between 1-2nd and 4th-5th Grade. All it really did was make my perfectionism flurish and give me the unhealthy idea that I can fix everything if I try hard enough. I later moved to my dad's house (There's also a possibility that my mom denied me having autism). I was getting tired of going to OT after a while. So, I concentrated hard enough to do it legibly enough for the therapist to consider me graduated from OT. At some point I'm not sure exactly when I eventually got refered to a psychiatrist for autism and was diagnosed in 5th grade. I knew I had PDD-Nos dysgraphia, social phobia, and adhd. I just wasn't sure what PDD-nos exactly meant. In 6th grade I started educating myself about autism. I was still ignorant about it but I learned more about it was. In 6th grade. This is when My mainly behavorial problems in school really started. I was to proud to act out so I just held it inside till I'd meltdown, In a safer space (I.E.) Home. This is also where the issues of my abusive past came up (suffered physically emotional abuse, as well as neglect from age 1-9) I started having flashbacks and other things relating to PTSD, but at age 11, I started researching it. I joined wrongplanet during my research from age 11-12 I ended up discovering wrongplanet right at my half birthday while taking a the aspie test. I joined right away naturally. The during november of 8th grade I burned out. I'm just starting to get a level of self-awareness where i can understand what's happening my life and experiences clearly. Hopefully that lasts.


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ISTJ-A - HSP - 21 - AQ - 43 - EQ - 13 - SQ - 69 - RAADS-R - 196 - Aspie Quiz (AS:176/NT:30)
Professionally Diagnosed: with A.D.H.D., Dysgraphia, PDD-NOS, and Social Phobia. Possible PTSD

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