Wh do people ask me if I'm a virgin/ever had a girlfriend?

Post Reply New Topic

You're probably giving off an awkward vibe. This is certianly not a typical question for people close to 30. For me to wonder about whether someone close to my age is a virgin, they would have to dispaly huge signs of sexual aversion.

Nobody ever gives off a "feel free to ask me any tasteless, rude, vulgar, inappropriate, gauche, out-of-bounds and none-of-your-business question that pops into your head and expect an answer" vibe. To suggest otherwise is raaaaaaaaaaaather inconsiderate and offensive on your part, albeit unintentionally I'm sure.

i was asked this question tonight at work totally unexpected. i answered "im not answering that question". and of course that just seems to imply "yes". but whatever. they are all in their late teens anyways, so they are just being teenage s**theads. it is what it is and whatever they make of it.

...it's a great way to break the ice

Never cared much for being considerate. I'm a problem solver by occupation and nature, and I look for answers.

Just trying to imagine what would make me suspect someone is a virgin. Of course, I wouldn't ask, but someone with much less shame might. It would have to be rather extreme.

It's one thing to not be a ladies' man, but no sex or girlfriend ever is something entirely different. I knew a guy who told me he was a virgin, and I didn't understand. It was difficult for me to believe such a fun guy with a social life wouldn't have had at least one good opportunity. However, one time, when another friend beckoned over a car full of girls for us to talk to (we were also driving), he started freaking out. Talking a mile-a-minute about how awkward this is, how he didn't like the girls, what was going to happen next, and and array of other panic mode questions. Dealing with girls in a pick-up sense was clearly out of his comfort zone. It was only then could I understand him being a virgin.

And coming from most people I would consider it an insult.

I don't think deadeye was inconsiderate or offensive, he was just examining why people would ask questions like that to an adult, and supplying a possible (and very plausible) answer. He wasn't suggesting it was something people should do.

The last time I got the virgin question was in 2007 at work, and it was from somebody who is, in my opinion, a d*ck head. He was a bro from CA, and probably thought anybody who was well spoken and intellectual might be a virgin. That, or I actually do give off a celibate vibe. I got the "girlfriend" question a bit over a week ago at the gym from somebody who recognized me from college. She got on the elliptical next to me, and was asking me question after question, one of which was if I was in a relationship and when I said I wasn't, she followed that with if I've ever had a girl friend. I think the only aversion I have is to her shallowness, because I know I could never relate to someone like her. She's 19, and I can tell she's kind of an air head. She thought I was around 24. It didn't sound malicious, but I still thought it was a dumb, inept thing to ask. Reserved men can have sex too, for crying out loud.

If it's just one guy 3 years ago making fun of you and girl who still thinks only the cool kids have sex, then that's not bad at all. Sometimes I fail to see that not everyone is logical.

I've been asked if I was a virgin, many times. They also ask me if I would be interested in having sex with anybody, or if I've ever had sex. Of course my answer is always going to be, "No."

I guess for the same reason some people ask me if I have a boyfriend.

This one girl at my old school asked this, and it's safe to say my reaction was not positive. Her mom said she was just trying to start a conversation. That's nice, but there are so many other ways one can start a conversation.

I agree. A question like that sets somebody up for judgment and can lead to embarrasment (sp?).