problems showing that you care, no caring ect, autism thing?

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

point_blank
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 97
Location: at the point of no return

21 Dec 2010, 5:03 pm

i have a question (or several), i had problems with the title
but are these things autismspectrum things?

I sometimes sound pissed or in a bad mood, when im not, i heard that it's a autism thing to not be able to control
your voice , you know, you sound angry cause you talk to fast and stuff. But i don't know if this is someting like this.
It give the impression i am in bad mood when im not, and i don't like it when im with people who don't know me well enough to understand.
Im shy but I have this other problem to speak with people too, if im happy and someone talks to me and i get a question i sound really unintressted and it sounds like i want to end the conversation. I answer questions short, I freeze and become cold.
I also get my thoughts jammed and blocked or whatever sound like i don't undertstand what people are talking about when i do.
But cause sometimes i don't and i hate it when i actually do but it doesn't sound that way at all.
It gives me a bad conscience i don't want to be a bad person or sound mean or cold. Sometimes i don't feel that i care about things that are important to me, it's like im too tired to feel anything (everything drains me on enerny it's like have none at all). I can't get excited about things in public eighter.
So i have started to wonder if i care about my family enough, cause im almost never excited when talking about seeing them. I don't think about them much eighter when i don't speak to them. i just can't express feelings around other people always. It's always easier at home.
I know a girl who is bubbly and happy a lot and wants me to be exicted about stuff, everybody else do too. I really just can't fake it.
So i start thinkning out how i should prove that i care. It's like im allergic to being nice. im really bad at showing interest for things even when i have a interest for it. I don't know why. there's a lot of things i wish i could ask people about. I just never do.
people missunderstand me a lot they read my body language and see my behavior. (if im walking fast they think im in a hurry ect,) i sometimes trying so hard to figure out what to do in situations that it turns out like brain dead behavoir and all wrong
and i become missunderstood. I's like im a whole mess. I feel dishonest, cause i have problem making up my mind, saying exaclty whats on my mind, i feel like i have very bad judgement in how to act, when to be honest when to not say what's on your mind. So i turn into a whole big mess when i speak to people besides old friends and family. ps im also paranoid about what people think of me so that contributes to the whole mess too.


is any of it realated to my diagnos? ,i know being confused and paranoid is not an autism thing (maybe comorbitity at the most) i feel wierd all the time. I never felt this way before in my life. But ive moved and haven't seen my family in weeks. It's like they turned my autism volumebutton on max.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 103,497
Location: Hanging out with my fellow Sweet Peas at Stalag 13

21 Dec 2010, 8:42 pm

I don't have that problem. I'm the opposite.


_________________
Schultz

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


kruger4
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 264

21 Dec 2010, 8:47 pm

Yeah it's probably related, I have the same problems.



point_blank
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 97
Location: at the point of no return

22 Dec 2010, 3:47 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't have that problem. I'm the opposite.


yes i know that's why your my hero :cheers:



point_blank
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 97
Location: at the point of no return

22 Dec 2010, 3:54 am

kruger4 wrote:
Yeah it's probably related, I have the same problems.


im intrigued, do you care to explain?



floating
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 106

22 Dec 2010, 4:12 am

I have the same problems but not been assessed/diagnosed yet.

It's the most frustrating thing in the world - coming across the wrong way. It makes me feel like a 'bad person' and I so desperately want to be 'good' but I can't seem to fake all the niceties and excitement or express my interest etc. i must seem brain dead some times but I just can't help but not know what to do. I can't decide how much detail is not enough or too much when I talk so I might omit something and people are later like why didn't you say or else I might say too much. so anyway, totally relate to the messed up and bad conscience thing.

Silence and simplifying my life is the only strategy I have.



point_blank
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 97
Location: at the point of no return

23 Dec 2010, 12:43 pm

floating wrote:
I have the same problems but not been assessed/diagnosed yet.

It's the most frustrating thing in the world - coming across the wrong way. It makes me feel like a 'bad person' and I so desperately want to be 'good' but I can't seem to fake all the niceties and excitement or express my interest etc. i must seem brain dead some times but I just can't help but not know what to do. I can't decide how much detail is not enough or too much when I talk so I might omit something and people are later like why didn't you say or else I might say too much. so anyway, totally relate to the messed up and bad conscience thing.

Silence and simplifying my life is the only strategy I have.


well it's nice to know im not the only one, i feel like a bad person also because i only think of myself and how i act and obsess about it, and also because im not as interested in other people as much as NT's are. Do you ever feel that way?

maybe off topic(?) but does anyone here know if it's possible to learn how to pick the most important things and not get stuck on details? i feel like it's hopeless since i can't become NT nor do i want to, i just want to beable to function properly (but who doesn't?)



tangomike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 675

23 Dec 2010, 3:47 pm

I have the same problem! I am a nice person but I have trouble spontaneously showing it- for my friends and family the only things I can do to show affection are either to do things for them (wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the house, say I love you or for my buddies buy them something like beer idk). I cant do it with words so I have to use actions, and even then doing things like putting my arm on someone feels weird to me so i cant do it, not to mention i dont know when is appropriate or not.