i have a question (or several), i had problems with the title
but are these things autismspectrum things?
I sometimes sound pissed or in a bad mood, when im not, i heard that it's a autism thing to not be able to control
your voice , you know, you sound angry cause you talk to fast and stuff. But i don't know if this is someting like this.
It give the impression i am in bad mood when im not, and i don't like it when im with people who don't know me well enough to understand.
Im shy but I have this other problem to speak with people too, if im happy and someone talks to me and i get a question i sound really unintressted and it sounds like i want to end the conversation. I answer questions short, I freeze and become cold.
I also get my thoughts jammed and blocked or whatever sound like i don't undertstand what people are talking about when i do.
But cause sometimes i don't and i hate it when i actually do but it doesn't sound that way at all.
It gives me a bad conscience i don't want to be a bad person or sound mean or cold. Sometimes i don't feel that i care about things that are important to me, it's like im too tired to feel anything (everything drains me on enerny it's like have none at all). I can't get excited about things in public eighter.
So i have started to wonder if i care about my family enough, cause im almost never excited when talking about seeing them. I don't think about them much eighter when i don't speak to them. i just can't express feelings around other people always. It's always easier at home.
I know a girl who is bubbly and happy a lot and wants me to be exicted about stuff, everybody else do too. I really just can't fake it.
So i start thinkning out how i should prove that i care. It's like im allergic to being nice. im really bad at showing interest for things even when i have a interest for it. I don't know why. there's a lot of things i wish i could ask people about. I just never do.
people missunderstand me a lot they read my body language and see my behavior. (if im walking fast they think im in a hurry ect,) i sometimes trying so hard to figure out what to do in situations that it turns out like brain dead behavoir and all wrong
and i become missunderstood. I's like im a whole mess. I feel dishonest, cause i have problem making up my mind, saying exaclty whats on my mind, i feel like i have very bad judgement in how to act, when to be honest when to not say what's on your mind. So i turn into a whole big mess when i speak to people besides old friends and family. ps im also paranoid about what people think of me so that contributes to the whole mess too.
is any of it realated to my diagnos? ,i know being confused and paranoid is not an autism thing (maybe comorbitity at the most) i feel wierd all the time. I never felt this way before in my life. But ive moved and haven't seen my family in weeks. It's like they turned my autism volumebutton on max.
21 Dec 2010, 5:03 pm
