Sharing an apartment or living alone - What works for you?
MONKEY
Veteran
Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,896
Location: Stoke, England (sometimes :P)
I'd prefer to house share with a few close friends. I'm quite talkative when I want to be and I'd go mad without someone to have a conversation with, I'd get quite lonely living on my own. I know I'd have friends and family outside of my house but I'm really lazy about keeping in touch with people and I'd lose motivation pretty quick, with people already in the house with me it gives me more reason to make an effort.
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What film do atheists watch on Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th street.
If I ever again live with a vegan who wants to impose their dietary preferance on me. There will be violence. I will string the prick by their god damn hemp string from the damn lamp post as a warning to all who want to get between me and my snap.
As I found out when i was student. House sharing doesn't work for me
I'm happiest when I have my own room and when I have people around me who respect that I like my alone time. I can deal with people in small doses, but I start getting annoyed when I have lots of social obligations or things that I need to do to keep other people happy. That said, I will get lonely if left alone for too long (much to my dismay). That's why having someone in the general vicinity can be helpful. My advice is to experiment with having room mates (and see how you like it). It's also very important to find the right person... some folks are just too loud and obnoxious to make good room mates. Also, the size of the place and the number of rooms are also good to consider. The larger the place, the less likely you are to get stuck into unwanted social situations.
Bloodheart
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.
Living alone.
I used to live with a boyfriend and a flatmate about 7 years ago - I didn't know the flatmate until we moved in together, unfortunately she had serious mental problems and spent her time lying about me and going after my boyfriend...and hasn't stopped doing this since. It was okay, before the flatmate turned bunny-boiler I was very much separate from them as I always spent my time in my bedroom, got annoyed by the fact they refused to do a damn thing and always acted so mean to me when I went out to socialise (I'm the aspie, but they were very anti-social). When things kicked-off I was left homeless...
Homeless I was not in a cardboard box, but I was being badly beaten where I was and nearly killed a few times, I kept looking for a a place sharing as I couldn't afford to live alone and all my friends were already living with each other, but I just couldn't figure out how to go about this and what few places I did go see I just didn't get the people or understand how I would live with them. Eventually I got a flat via emergency housing and have been here for about 4 years now - SO MUCH BETTER!
Living alone is better for me as I have my privacy, I don't have to worry about tolerating or living with another person, I don't have to worry about people turning up when not expected, it's all just about me. I can have things the way I want them, and I am free to be as strange as I like without having to try to explain myself to others, I am free to do whatever I want without having to worry about anyone else.
Not quite sure how I'll manage when my boyfriend and I are officially living together though - he'll have it rough, I'll probably get very defensive, and we are going to move into 'our' house rather than him move into 'my' flat so that should help.
i could live along but afraid of what will happen... well not really afraid, but i would have pressure on me since an apartment complex has multiple people living in that area. the major issue is the sound equipment and the personal belongings that i own.... i'm not good at self defense...
another problem is the money supply to pay bills...
for me alone
I have had one relationship that worked out (12 years, this was an ok time) but room mates have always been terrible mistakes, every single one has done hurtful nasty things to me and taken advantage, many even either physically attacked or stolen from me.
I will never live with a room mate again, if they decide to force me into some home situation I am just leaving.
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?The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society--more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.? - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin
I live alone and prefer it. I briefly had a roommate in grad school and it was a mess.
That said, I was in a committed relationship for about 13 years. We shared a home, and given being in a relationship it worked wonderfully. But outside of a spousal situation I definitely prefer living alone.
I've lived alone a few times, I don't really like it. It's nice to not have to worry about noise or running into someone, but the stillness gets to me, everything just frozen and cold, in the same place all the time, isolated, awful. If there's no one to complain about dishes or smells or messes why clean? It's not like I care...
Living around other people is odd, but I think most people don't care how you act as long as you are clean, quiet, and pay. I've lived with people for weeks without ever even introducing myself, and did just fine (are people usually okay with an 'invisible roommate?) Having to sync up with multiple schedules and tasks/chores is a real pain in the butt, though. I usually only eat if I can be left alone, but the only time that happens is when everyone is sleeping, so I can't cook and make noise...also, people usually don't say "this is your job" or "you need to buy this for yourself/everyone", it's very unclear for me usually if I'm putting in enough effort into shared tasks...
The best living situation I ever had was just traveling around with a good friend, maybe sleep in the car in shifts, maybe hotel, never the same thing for more than a few weeks, with no real destination or end goal. Nowadays, if I get sick of everything, I can only go home, back then I could just pick up and move a few states east, start over.
Living around other people is odd, but I think most people don't care how you act as long as you are clean, quiet, and pay. I've lived with people for weeks without ever even introducing myself, and did just fine (are people usually okay with an 'invisible roommate?) Having to sync up with multiple schedules and tasks/chores is a real pain in the butt, though. I usually only eat if I can be left alone, but the only time that happens is when everyone is sleeping, so I can't cook and make noise...also, people usually don't say "this is your job" or "you need to buy this for yourself/everyone", it's very unclear for me usually if I'm putting in enough effort into shared tasks...
The best living situation I ever had was just traveling around with a good friend, maybe sleep in the car in shifts, maybe hotel, never the same thing for more than a few weeks, with no real destination or end goal. Nowadays, if I get sick of everything, I can only go home, back then I could just pick up and move a few states east, start over.
yeah no, I hate moving an apartment every few years even - I like being in the same house for twenty, living in a car I think I would jump out the first time it hit 60 MPH and just hope my brains splattered well enough. I am desperate for stability, its why I can't take living with people, they keep taking and interfering with all my stuff and schedule and all. Tired of me giving everything and them getting to take.
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?The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society--more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.? - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin
I hope to soon maintain a job where I could support myself and its in my nature to be alone. I could never imagine living with someone else whether its just a roommate or someone I'd be in a relationship with. All I know is financially I could only imagine how much easier it would be to split the bills with someone,.
Never the less it ruined things for me. So I live alone.
only advantage I see here - I would be hurt less by strangers doing mean things to me or stealing from me than by having people who claimed to be my "friends" - either way, not doing it again
_________________
?The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society--more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.? - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin
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