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slikk03
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27 Dec 2010, 10:21 pm

i have a very hard time living a normal life. i am a husband and a dad!! !!. the problem is i can not connect well with them or converse. my wife understands to a degree about how it affects me. i have a very hard time finding jobs due to sencory issuis and interacting with most ppl. i can not were earplugs or glasses ,i cant take strong smells and realy loud noises. i am at a loss with ever working a normal job due to daydreaming and lack of skills. i have got to the point were i just dont want to interact at all withh ppl in person. what are some online jobs that i could get that dont demand alot of typing? on top of aspergers i have a mild drug problem and bad anxiety. thats why i am on some drugs, i meen i am addicted to valuim from the docter and weed if you call that a drug. so in short, how do i lern to engage in a conversation that i hold no interest in? how do i express love? i dont understand it. i dont feel like a dad, husband , son,uncle. i feel like i am very distant at times



Todesking
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27 Dec 2010, 11:42 pm

slikk03 wrote:
i am at a loss with ever working a normal job due to daydreaming and lack of skills.


I use to work at a machineshop I can vouch for how dangerous daydreaming is on the job you would not believe how many times I hurt my hands or fingers using lathes and drills. I also damaged plenty of machines doing reputitious work then falling into a daydream while working. I will be following this thread, I am in the same boat as you. :wink:


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10googol
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28 Dec 2010, 12:20 am

My problem is imagination ,nicer than day dreams sounding, where does the imagination lead to? Must have purpose or why dream, right? What are heads doing, find tke function and turn active mind to degree of purpose, what do you think?possible or impossible?



Descartes
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28 Dec 2010, 12:41 am

I'm nineteen years old and I've never had a real job. The only paying job I've had was in the summer of '09 when I was accepted into a volunteer program (that also happened to pay you for your work) for special needs teenagers in order to give them job experience.

I have been to countless job interviews over the years, and I wasn't hired by a single company I applied to. I suppose I came across to the interviewers as very introverted and not enough of a "people person."



CockneyRebel
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28 Dec 2010, 12:56 am

I'm very lucky to have found the job that I did. I clean garbage of of parking lots, 3-5 times a week. I work for 2 hours a day, and I don't have to talk to anybody, while I'm working. Too bad I can't bring my music anymore, but it's a pretty good job. :)


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Musicprophets
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28 Dec 2010, 1:32 am

Descartes wrote:
I'm nineteen years old and I've never had a real job. The only paying job I've had was in the summer of '09 when I was accepted into a volunteer program (that also happened to pay you for your work) for special needs teenagers in order to give them job experience.

I have been to countless job interviews over the years, and I wasn't hired by a single company I applied to. I suppose I came across to the interviewers as very introverted and not enough of a "people person."


yeah i remember one interview with a company and the guy was comparing introverts and extroverts and how introverts should be doing something else and i was like in my mind "you are so f*****g full of s**t, dude!". there is a strong unspoken bias for majority of employers to have extroverts/people persons work for them. you can have all the experience.education, and references and if you dont come off as an immediate happy people person, your chances go down rapidly. its f*****g BS.



Kon
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28 Dec 2010, 2:10 am

slikk03 wrote:
i have a mild drug problem and bad anxiety. thats why i am on some drugs, i meen i am addicted to valuim from the docter and weed if you call that a drug.


I was dependent on anti-anxiety medication also. Do you find it helps with sensory issues?



Zen
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28 Dec 2010, 2:18 am

Musicprophets wrote:
yeah i remember one interview with a company and the guy was comparing introverts and extroverts and how introverts should be doing something else and i was like in my mind "you are so f***ing full of sh**, dude!". there is a strong unspoken bias for majority of employers to have extroverts/people persons work for them. you can have all the experience.education, and references and if you dont come off as an immediate happy people person, your chances go down rapidly. its f***ing BS.

I totally agree that there is a bias. I got so frustrated when I was looking for a job and every single ad would say "must have excellent verbal communication skills". At least non-autistic introverts are able to fake it, but why should they have to?

I've never been hired through an interview myself. It's always been through referrals. Currently I am self-employed and work at home, which eliminates the sensory and much of the social issues. I guess the trick is to find (or develop) a skill that you can use in such a way?



Todesking
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28 Dec 2010, 2:21 am

I have never have been hired at a job thru an interview. :x


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League_Girl
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28 Dec 2010, 2:55 am

Only jobs I have had without one was when I worked at a thrift store and in the high school library. One of them was through voc rehab and the other I was recommended because I did such a good job helping her clean her rental home and her husband happened to managed a thrift store and he needed someone to do some cleaning there.

And the current job I have, no interview. Now I am on maternity leave. My body decided to go into labor last week before I got to 39 weeks and then I had my son at 39 weeks even. I was 38 weeks and 6 days when it started and I thought I was just having braxton hicks contractions so I did my normal stuff and even went to work that day.

The job I had in Montana in housekeeping, interview sort of but the only real one I ever had was my last job I had for two years.

And finding a job has never been easy for me. I always blamed it on lack of work experience and then the economy.


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emjay89
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28 Dec 2010, 6:09 am

um....League Girl
you do know a normal pregnancy term is 36 weeks?


but i digress
i got jobs after an interview. but i spent time over time over time practising with people so i knew what i was in for and what to do and what not to do



TPE2
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28 Dec 2010, 6:29 am

Zen wrote:
At least non-autistic introverts are able to fake it


I doubt of it.



another_1
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28 Dec 2010, 7:54 am

Musicprophets wrote:
there is a strong unspoken bias for majority of employers to have extroverts/people persons work for them.


I'm afraid I have to question the accuracy of this statement. Most employers are quite open about the fact that they want only "type A" personalities working for them. Why they need the janitor or the night security guard to be aggressively social, I do not understand, but they will tell you up front that that's what they're looking for.

TPE2 wrote:
Zen wrote:
At least non-autistic introverts are able to fake it



I doubt of it.


I think he meant the verbal skills, not the social aspect.



daughter189
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28 Dec 2010, 8:16 am

How about shelf-stacking? I work part time in a hardware store and fill the shelves in the evening. The pay isn't bad considering how easy the work is. We're allowed to listen to Mp3 players and the only conversation required is to be told what section to fill.

I don't know about other shops but it seems that they require unsociable people because all the evening team are pretty unsocial. I also got the job through an interview.



js3521
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28 Dec 2010, 8:41 am

What are your special interests?



kladky
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28 Dec 2010, 11:59 am

I'm married but don't have kids. My wife is very understanding about my issues, even though it is very frustrating to her at times. If both of you sit and discuss the ways you handle things, they can only work out for the better. Communication is key. Children are another story. But I think the same rings true. If you talk to your children about why you do what you do, it will work out. After all, they won't be kids forever. Hopefully, they will come to see one day that you did the best you could with what you had.