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AntoniusBlock
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29 Dec 2010, 4:29 pm

Hello friends,

i wonder how the description of emotions differs between AS and NT people.

Maybe its also true for me, when i want to describe something very sad for me, often i can't find the appropriate words for it, they all seem too less to describe it accurately, therefore i often then keep it simple, and say "I was soo sad, i can't describe".

So maybe i also got this alexithymia?! Anyone there, who has read more about this, or has some better understanding about this?

thanks,
anton



MidlifeAspie
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29 Dec 2010, 4:33 pm

Per Tony Atwood and several others this is a very common AS thing.



AntoniusBlock
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29 Dec 2010, 4:36 pm

Ok, i have learned so far, that as an AS person , my body language needs to be trained actively in order to get a better communication with the NT people.

BUT, if i also have problems describing my emotions in words, then this also means, i probably also have to improve this too, in order to have a better relationship with an NT woman. BUT, how to do this?? anyone any clue how to improve?

greets,
Anton



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29 Dec 2010, 4:38 pm

Practice, practice, practice. I don't personally think it is worth it so I don't attempt to mainstream myself, but if this is what you want to do the only way you can learn is by doing.



AntoniusBlock
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29 Dec 2010, 4:45 pm

why don't you think it is worth the effort? What is so bad to describe your feelings such that others also can understand them?

anton



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29 Dec 2010, 4:50 pm

AntoniusBlock wrote:
why don't you think it is worth the effort? What is so bad to describe your feelings such that others also can understand them?
Why is it so important to be understood all the time? Do you understand everybody else? I mean: Do you really understand everbody else, or do you only think you do? If the former; How long have you suffered from the inability to discern between reality and fantasy?


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MidlifeAspie
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29 Dec 2010, 4:54 pm

Kenjuudo wrote:
AntoniusBlock wrote:
why don't you think it is worth the effort? What is so bad to describe your feelings such that others also can understand them?
Why is it so important to be understood all the time? Do you understand everybody else? I mean: Do you really understand everbody else, or do you only think you do? If the former; How long have you suffered from the inability to discern between reality and fantasy?


You just cruise these boards looking for an argument, don't you? :)



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29 Dec 2010, 4:55 pm

Yeah, that sounds like alexythimia.

Here's a quote from meditation teacher Kenneth Folk where he delineates practices designed to 'dis embed' one's 'self' from sensations. I think they can be useful for alexythimics, to help them get more in touch with one's self. It's a kind of training, so like MidlifeAspie says; practice.

Quote:
1) Objectify body sensations. If you can name them, you aren't embedded there. Notice sensations and note to yourself: "Pressure, tightness, tension, release, coolness, warmth, softness, hardness, tingling, itching, burning, stinging, pulsing, throbbing, seeing, tasting, smelling, hearing." If I am looking at something it is not "I".

2) Objectify feeling-tone. Are sensations pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral? If you can sit there for five minutes and note pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral every few seconds, you are not embedded at that layer of mind.

3)Objectify mind states. Investigation, curiosity, happiness, anxiety, amusement, sadness, joy, anger, frustration, annoyance, irritation, aversion, desire, disgust, fear, worry, calm, embarrassment, shame, self-pity, compassion, love, contentment, aversion, dullness, sleepiness, bliss, exhilaration, triumph, self-loathing. Name them and be free of them. These mind states are not "you;" we know that because if there is a "you" it is the one who is looking, not what is being looked at.


http://kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/

I suspect that the reason people with AS lose touch with their emotional self is because we can be far more sensitive. It's a matter of retuning in to something we habitually tune out.


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Kenjuudo
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29 Dec 2010, 5:05 pm

MidlifeAspie wrote:
You just cruise these boards looking for an argument, don't you? :)
Not at all. The topic of emotions, thoughts and their communication is a pretty important topic for me. So whenever people seem to forget or misunderstand what's at stake and how their specific arguments have logical ambiguities, I have to remind them. Though I admit I tend to use quite a bit of sarcasm.


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AntoniusBlock
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29 Dec 2010, 5:22 pm

could anyone give an improvement in the description of feelings? what is a better description?

I personally am highly sensitive (AS), it takes me a long time to recover sometimes. I wonder if it is really possible to describe that, i mean, words have their limit or?



Kenjuudo
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29 Dec 2010, 5:28 pm

AntoniusBlock wrote:
could anyone give an improvement in the description of feelings? what is a better description?

I personally am highly sensitive (AS), it takes me a long time to recover sometimes. I wonder if it is really possible to describe that, i mean, words have their limit or?
You're searching for something that is impossible. All famous artists have always wished they were able to express their emotions and thoughts accurately. It's just not doable. And even if it were, nobody else would understand it. A person's exact thoughts or feelings follow no globally definable set of rules. It'll just appear to consist of seemingly random out blurts of words and sounds.

"Teeth. Teeeeeeth. *brbrbrbr* HEHE. Doing! Pling! Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeth!! !! !! ! WAAAH! Apple? Banana... Apple! Orange... NO! Ding dong."


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Wallourdes
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29 Dec 2010, 6:42 pm

AntoniusBlock wrote:
could anyone give an improvement in the description of feelings? what is a better description?

I personally am highly sensitive (AS), it takes me a long time to recover sometimes. I wonder if it is really possible to describe that, i mean, words have their limit or?


Quote:
2. physical sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste, or smell.
4. the general state of consciousness considered independently of particular sensations, thoughts, etc.
5. a consciousness or vague awareness: a feeling of inferiority.
6. an emotion or emotional perception or attitude: a feeling of joy; a feeling of sorrow.
7. capacity for emotion, esp. compassion: to have great feeling for the sufferings of others.
9. feelings, sensibilities; susceptibilities: to hurt one's feelings.
10. fine emotional endowment.
11. (in music, art, etc.)
a. emotion or sympathetic perception revealed by an artist in his or her work: a poem without feeling.
b. the general impression conveyed by a work: a landscape painting with a spacious feeling.
c. sympathetic appreciation, as of music: to play with feeling.
–adjective
12. sensitive; sentient.
13. readily affected by emotion; sympathetic: a feeling heart.
14. indicating or characterized by emotion: a feeling reply to the charge.

link

This could help too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion

Words are one way to precisely explain what you mean, for emotional exhaustion check here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_exhaustion


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29 Dec 2010, 9:58 pm

I find it very hard to describe my emotions, without crying. I'm sensitive.


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29 Dec 2010, 10:05 pm

Describing my emotions is like painting on a 5x7 inch canvas with a 4 inch wide brush and expecting detail.


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30 Dec 2010, 12:00 am

Sometimes alexithymia can be a psychological coping mechanism where the mind shuts down pathways that process emotions as a self-defense when emotions cannot be accepted, like a horrible experience in life. I can remember having strong emotions when I was a child, then losing them, which I think was a coping mechanism at the time. I regained them to a degree but never to the extent when I was young. Alexithymia can also be neurological in origin when the actual brain pathways that process emotion are deficient. Psychological and neurological alexithymia is associated with Autism. It is likely that those that have neurological alexithymia experienced little of what is commonly understood as emotion.

I agree with Moog that some Autistic people tune out their feelings, which I think in many cases may be stronger than a normal persons feelings. I think that Anton's description of sadness that is too deep to put into words indicates that he experiences sadness, knows what it is, but can't find words to describe the full extent of it. I personally don't see this as alexithymia, more a reflection of feeling deep emotion. To me this is the opposite of Alexithymia. I think that deep emotion is what drives art and the creativity to express the depth of beauty and emotion in poetry, painting, music, etc.