Nervous About Future Schooling

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Hello everyone.
I Am writing this to address some worries I have about my future schooling. I am starting in a Radio and Television Arts program at a community college in another province, 4 hours away from home in September. This is really exciting because I have always wanted to do this as a career. My interests are within this field. But, I feel that because I have AS, I will be shut out socially. I feel that I will not fit in because I am weird and different. I feel it will be just like university all over again or even worse. Every time I open my mouth, I am afraid I will sound like an idiot. The interview to get in the program went well. I was not intimidated by my teachers at all. It went really well. What I worry about are the social situations. I am worried that I will feel more alone up there than I do at home. My parents are very supportive and my mother (who is my harshest critic) says that I will do fine. It will be so hard for me to appear normal. I don't start until September, but it feels so close. I just don't know how to go about this. I either get too excited and act like an idiot or I am depressed and angry. There seems to be no middle ground and it pisses me off. Even in University, people would want me to say something in class discussions and then when I opened my mouth to speak, nobody responded to what I had to say. It really upset me and I hardly spoke in class because of it. I also became very depressed about it. Low self-esteem anyone? My professors hated me because of it. I couldn't help it. I am saving myself the trouble of embarrassment and wasting their time. I am afraid that this will happen again at Community College. The reason that I think this is because I went to a social thing yesterday and I felt like an outsider. It had to do with radio and we were doing a radio show. Every time I went on the air with that group of people, I sounded like an idiot and everything I did or said was ignored on the air. I work best alone. I am afraid that if I stumble upon those situations at school, I will be treated the same way. I will be ignored. I AM SICK OF BEING IGNORED!! !! ! Has anybody else felt this way during school or University? Am I the only one?

You may need support in this new college.
This support might be temporary, by Dec of 2011 you may not need this anymore.
Or you might need it forever.

Now would be the time to start searching for a therapist, AS support group or
even mentor. Someone to help you process your situations, your worries, anxieties or
stressful encountrs. This "mentor" will be your voice of calm, reason and understanding. It
may have to be someone you hire but a source to go to when you are feeling stressed. No
one needs to know about this mentor unless you share it. This therapist, or mentor or
safe friend would be someone that can help you understand objectiviely ways you can
be a part of the group. Not be ignored.

Imagine from your past experience the worst time in your life.

Try to remember those feelings, your reactons, the terrible pit in your stomach.

How could that have been different?

What worked for you in dealing with stress? Terrible people? Alienation?


You mentioned recently ...
"I am afraid that this will happen again at Community College... went to a social thing yesterday and I felt like an outsider....Every time I went on the air with that group of people, I sounded like an idiot and everything I did or said was ignored on the air. I work best alone. I am afraid that if I stumble upon those situations at school, I will be treated the same way. I will be ignored. I AM SICK OF BEING IGNORED!! !! !"


How could you have handled those feelings you had of being IGNORED?
What could you have done differently?
Maybe nothing, or maybe talking to another safe person could help you understand that
you are okay. That it is okay to tell the group, "I can help out but honestly I work better alone."

Now what could have helped you cope with that difficult time?

A mentor can help you see ways to behave, move forward and act in "normal" ways.
( I do not like the word normal I just mean act like the masses so you do not feel ignored.)

Start looking for a "safe person" who can help you tackle these challenges when and
if they come up. Because it is silly to think they won't come up. Everyone deals with
challenges, bad times and difficult moment. Now is the time to plan on how you will deal
with it when they do. Expect the worst and Plan to make the best.

I am afraid about going to college. I will be heading there next year and I fear it will be worse than High school or middle school. And out of the blue after constantly reassuring me that I will stay home while attending college, my mom tells me that she wants me to go and stay in the dorms. She doesn't understand people with AS apparently. She used to, but not anymore.

Shenlong,

I am so sorry you feel like you are being pushed out of the nest.
Change is very scary. Maybe yuor mother wants you to try your own wings and fly.

Have you thought about talking to your college LD support?
Some colleges have a private (never to be disclosed unless you wish)
Learning Disabled support office of teachers and advisors who can help you.

You could meet with them to talk about having a single room if you do not want to
be with a roommate. And talk to them about your worries, fears, concerns...
You may need to tell them you have AS. But they could help you find a place to
feel safe, people to trust and sources to go to when things are really terrible.

College can be like HS or not, it depends on the campus. Some colleges have a
great LD team that works with the students to find support both in their dorm with
the Resident Advisor and the department, the library, group of friends, clubs...
This will be different than HS as there are adults who are respectful to others.

I am worried for you, because I really do understand how scary this can be. Try
to call the college or visit their web site. Post on this WP if anyone goes to the
same college you are thinking of and what do they think of it?

~mm