Anybody else NEVER had a guy interested in you?
I've been kind of frustrated about the amount of guy complaining I've been reading about women and dating etc... Yes, women have it easy, if they're pretty. I can't relate to pretty women at all though, their lives are total opposite of mine. I can relate to the experiences of the guys chasing the pretty women, except I'm not interested in women. So I'm kind of searching for other girls that can relate to my experiences in life.
I've always been treated really badly by guys, or been condescended by them. I've never had a guy friend, have a guy do me a favor, pay me a compliment or be nice to me. Needless to say, I've never been asked out by guys and when I do ask a couple out (NOT hot guys, regular guys or even geeks or even a fat guy once and I am NOT fat!) I've been turned down and blocked on msn by them.
I do wear makeup and do my hair and wear nice clothes, but I do that for me, since nobody else seems to care. I do go to clubs and dance or sometimes even sit there alone waiting for friends, but the only guys ever interested are drunk and just want to have sex and refuse to buy me a drink, so I don't really count that as attention, I don't want that. Can anyone relate?
I probably wouldn't even recognize if a guy was interested in me, thank God
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Sorry for jumping in here (I'm a guy). No one would ever know that I was interested in them because I keep it to myself for years... which makes me very depressed because I don't know how to take action on someone who interests me.
I've been mega-interested in this girl at college since September and I've never said a word to her (Yes I'm that bad). I don't think she has any clue.
You know, there's a difference between having a guy being interested in you as a person and having a guy thinking you're attractive enough to be worth his time.
I can relate to you in the sense that I've never really had guys line up at my door begging me to go out with them, but I've never really cared to attract the kind of people who hang out at clubs or dances. I think the best kind of guy to go out with is someone who starts out as a friend--a REAL friend--and who becomes attracted to you only after he gets to know you.
Perhaps if you tell us exactly what you said to them we could help you figure out what you did wrong.
If you kept trying to ask them out after they said no, for example, you probably had the blocking coming.
I rarely have guys interested in me who are not off the internet. Im one of those girls who can be very attractive if u meet thru the internet but not in person. Ive only had 2 guys interested in me in person in my entire life. So its not easy, so I came to the conclusion that trying to find a guy in person will never work for me. I'll be pretty darn lucky if I find someone in person.
I can relate to you in the sense that I've never really had guys line up at my door begging me to go out with them, but I've never really cared to attract the kind of people who hang out at clubs or dances. I think the best kind of guy to go out with is someone who starts out as a friend--a REAL friend--and who becomes attracted to you only after he gets to know you.
Perhaps if you tell us exactly what you said to them we could help you figure out what you did wrong.
If you kept trying to ask them out after they said no, for example, you probably had the blocking coming.
Well, it seems like in order to be interested in you as a person, guys need to be into the shell first. I don't blame them either, it's only biological instinct. And it's not like it works like what I've seen with my girl friends, where the guy is simply really persistent with the favors and the chatting etc, until finally she agrees. I'm a girl, I'm supposed to just get the hint and back off.
I have no guy friends, either, so that door is shut. Although with what I've seen "guy friends" are mostly another word for servants that have a crush on you
What I said to them.. Hmm, I didn't keep asking. I was kind of offended by the refusal though, so I guess talking to me wasn't quite the same then We didn't know each other almost at all anyways.
I've only once had the experience of feeling that a guy was interested in me, and that only lasted two dates largely because I am so socially awkward. But there have been a number of times I've been with a friend or family member and they've told me later that a guy seemed interested in me... but I had had no idea.
I've been in relationships, so I can't say a guy has never been interested in me, but it's pretty rare. I too can relate to the experiences of hard-luck guys who chase women and always fall short. I can't relate to women who are beset by unwanted male attention, though I sympathize with them because I agree that it would be awful, but it hasn't happened to me. Except that I have had men make rude comments at me on the street (one guy actually said "nice tits" right to my face as I was walking down the street), and I think it's disgusting, but it doesn't rank very high as something that makes me miserable.
(I would consider the advances of drunk guys to be attention, though, even though you discount them. Even that has happened to me only rarely.)
Kiran
Velociraptor
Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 443
Location: Somewhere in Scandinavia
the only time guys were interested in me is when i was in Thailand five years ago. I had been in Phuket for like five minutes when a guy started hitting on me. During the whole time i was there random guys would start flirting with me and call me beautiful and stuff when i was just walking down the street. I didn't know how i was supposed to react, i was so used to guys calling me stupid and ugly!
Then there was a friend's lesbian neighbor who hit on me once, but she's not a guy so that doesn't count.
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PanoramaIsland
Raven
Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 110
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
I was born centuries late. For me to know a guy is interested in me, he has to knock me over the head with his club and drag me by the hair back to his cave. Even then, I'd probably miss the prehistoric romantic overture from confusion of why he'd take me back instead one of the other girls to such a degree that I'd mentally eliminate any possibility that there was interest on his part.
People usually have to tell me, "[Guy] likes you." Really? How can you tell? They'd tell me the flirtations they saw that I completely missed. And it'd shock me that there would be so many signs that completely flew by me. They'd list, "he did this and this and this..." and I'd had no clue that any of that meant he liked me. How weird.
My ex-husband caught me by proposing marriage within five hours of knowing me. He kept asking until I said yes. About five days. We were married the following week at the courthouse. I was 18 (too young!) and thought it would be a good idea at the time. It wasn't. It actually taught me that men that are overtly affectionate are emotionally unstable, insecure, possessive and will turn violent, controlling and try to kill you.
Men who overtly leer at women in public places are creepy enough but thanks to that awful marriage experience, I get seriously creeped out and have to leave the place, While I'm dense as bricks, I know nothing good comes from men who are overt in their intentions as a matter of practice.
What I didn't learn from trauma, I learned from books. I've read a lot of good books regarding communication and emotional stability. The 5 Love Languages is a good one to learn how people can understand and communicate affection. It's not the end-all be-all for it, but it definitely helps establish the science so love is not all abstract emotive elements that randomly change meanings.
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