Guilt/Shame/Embarassment hours, days, months, years later

Post Reply New Topic

Sometimes even before the fact
And even with other emotions
But mainly the scary ones

It can be one of the worst feelings
All of a sudden realizing you were mean to someone
Or you said something that you later find to be untrue
And you think that person must think I am dumb

What brought this about was
I remembered this time
Between elementary and middle school
A boy came into the recreation center at a park and he grabbed a ball
He started to bounce it
Chanting with each bounce
"Bouncy Bally, Bouncy bally, Bouncy bally..."
I hit the ball out of his hands because
What I now know was his Autism
Was irritating and made no sense
I hate when people repeat the same thing over and over
Unless its something I like
But someone told me he was Autistic
I didnt have a clue what that was really
I started remembering all the people I have made fun of who were Auties or Aspies
Here I am realizing I was just a pot
And I was calling the kettle wierd

I appologize to the at least 7 or 8 people I can think of and the others I cant

Also anyone who Ive mad fun of in the past
I now know in my less immature years
That I make fun of those that can
Those who dont care what others think
Mainly I envy their ignorance and ability
Sorry
Everyone has a role
I must learn mine
Let us all travel hand in hand
Down the yellow brick road
To The Wonderful World Of AS

I've been dealing with a lot of those emotions, lately. All the bases are covered with me. Whether I feel embarrassed about something that I did weeks ago, or ashamed of the way that I was, at the age of 10, all the bases are covered and I remember mistakes and moments from every minute, day, month, or year of my life. I've got to work on not letting those feelings, emotions and memories get to me. I've also got to keep in mind that everybody makes mistakes, and not just me. I've got to look on the bright side of life.

Thats why I love WrongPlanet
Thats also why I love Aspies
Thanks for making me smile right now
And maybe later today or at a future date
When some random stimuli calls this moment to mind