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Joined: 31 May 2006
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,046

29 Jun 2006, 5:46 am

Fuzzy: By 'fake', I meant, I wonder sometimes (depends on if I am in a positive or a negative mood, I suppose) whether that smile at children and dogs was 'acting' of a sort. In other words did he smile at them on purpose in front of me so that I'd think he wanted those things. When in fact he just wanted his life as before plus a cook and housekeeper??

Please understand that having just gotten some ideas about why he may have done many of the things he did (or did not do) in the past... I am still a bit confused about some of it. To me it is like he has been speaking Chinese and I have found a translation for part. But not for all.

The reason I wonder if it was acting is because if he truly wanted those things, he has done everything so far not to have them. Remember earlier I said that he told me he had to become what others wanted to find. But I had no way of knowing he was impersonating what he thought others wanted. I took it all as sincere.

And maybe it was sincere but I just still do not understand his contradictions. I don't know.

Iammeandnooneelse: Thanks for your reply also. I think the big things are easier too, but, so far (and it's been years) he doesn't make a move on things large or small. Part of my frustration is due to treading water so long.