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wavefreak58
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08 Jan 2011, 10:51 pm

Verdandi wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
Moog wrote:
People can pretend to be what they aren't in meat space too.


It is harder to do in real life and get away with it for very long.


How often and to what magnitude has this happened to you, and what kind of harm has it caused?

I've had it happen a few times, but it wasn't a big deal. It's certainly not worth it to me to view people online with deep suspicion. The majority of people I know are pretty much who they present themselves to be. We all filter parts of ourselves on and offline, so that part does not surprise me.


I don't spend much energy being suspicious. But I think most flame wars are based in projecting attitudes that would never be countenanced in face to face conversation. The tone of conversation on the internet is often excessively strident. I don't know. Maybe people aren't being something different than their real selves. Maybe the real life controlled persona is discarded and their true nastiness is put on display for all to see.


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Verdandi
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08 Jan 2011, 11:47 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:

I don't spend much energy being suspicious. But I think most flame wars are based in projecting attitudes that would never be countenanced in face to face conversation. The tone of conversation on the internet is often excessively strident. I don't know. Maybe people aren't being something different than their real selves. Maybe the real life controlled persona is discarded and their true nastiness is put on display for all to see.


I think that at any given time any or all of this can be true. Flame wars are based in projecting unacceptable attitudes, and that many people do put their true nastiness on display.

I try not to participate in flame wars. Most of the people I communicate with as friends seem not to as well. I think that a lot of people project stridency and hostility onto others who are expressing neither as well. I can't remember how many times I've been accused of flaming someone when I strictly did nothing more than disagree, but perhaps for that person disagreement was a mortal insult - which is ridiculous and yet all too common, as you suggest.



hale_bopp
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09 Jan 2011, 12:39 am

I don't go out of my way to bother to make friends on online communities anymore.

I like forums, just to post in my own time, and don't talk to many people on IM.



Cornflake
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09 Jan 2011, 8:30 am

Qi wrote:
When people stop replying to you, how can you tell whether you weirded them out or lost their interest, or if the conversation simply expired naturally?
You can't know for sure why there's no response because er, there's no response. :?
If it really bugged me then I'd ask.

Sometimes it does worry me a little, especially where I think I've said something that ought to have got a response (something which, if I'd read it, I would have responded to) - so I do a double-check against things that I don't respond to.
That's usually because I think a post says enough already and it's reached a natural end (I try to avoid one-liner "me too!" posts, but I'll comment if something is especially good), or because it's not an on-going discussion, or because I'm tired/can't be arsed, or because I'm just browsing the general chatter and if something really grabs my attention, I'll reply, but not otherwise.

So, assuming that's what others do, I toddle along contentedly and try not to whip myself into believing there was no response because something is wrong.
As Verandi said; "silence often seems to me to be more of a lack of response than an emotional response"

But since you'd asked a question and I thought I may have something to add, I replied - so that one worked out Ok, didn't it? :lol:


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chewingkebabs
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09 Jan 2011, 2:32 pm

Qi wrote:
Here's my theory. For aspies and autistic people, the one important aspect of communication is the verbal one. Body language, voice tone and other means of non-verbal communication play a lesser role. So I imagine for aspies and autistic people, internet communication is closer to real-life communication than it is for NTs. Take me for example. I can seem completely normal and upbeat and energetic through text, but be a complete bore in real life who can barely carry out a conversation unless I'm left to ramble about my interests and such. So an NT would get completely different impressions of me in text and in real-life, because text fails to convey all non-verbal forms of communication that play an important part in creating an impression in real-life.

Yeah, I've met people on forums in real life, and they ALWAYS comment on how "quiet" I am, not at all how I behave online.



chewingkebabs
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09 Jan 2011, 2:43 pm

Verdandi wrote:

Qi wrote:
Here's my theory. For aspies and autistic people, the one important aspect of communication is the verbal one. Body language, voice tone and other means of non-verbal communication play a lesser role. So I imagine for aspies and autistic people, internet communication is closer to real-life communication than it is for NTs. Take me for example. I can seem completely normal and upbeat and energetic through text, but be a complete bore in real life who can barely carry out a conversation unless I'm left to ramble about my interests and such. So an NT would get completely different impressions of me in text and in real-life, because text fails to convey all non-verbal forms of communication that play an important part in creating an impression in real-life.


Yes.

I found this post yesterday:

http://www.existenceiswonderful.com/200 ... erent.html

It's a much better version of what I was trying to write in here.

Wow, I think I knew that girl in high school!



richardbenson
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10 Jan 2011, 2:47 pm

I dont trust anyone, i'm very paraniod. so i usually leave forums unless i absolutely know for a fact no funny business is going on

but overall if you are a real genuine person, that isnt too full of it i'll stop by your forums everyonce inawile :pig:


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Cornflake
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10 Jan 2011, 4:23 pm

richardbenson wrote:
I dont trust anyone, i'm very paraniod. so i usually leave forums unless i absolutely know for a fact no funny business is going on
I can sometimes browse for months on forums without making a single comment. Need to see what's going on first.


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