11 May 2018, 1:36 pm
I have friends i dont want to be around some times, and ones i do, and it can switch and i dont really get why. I can go months or years not wanting to speak to some one and avoiding them, to then be fine with it months later.
Friends is a job for me. Too much work. I need solitude, but humans do interest me in theory.
I have a social deficit with them though. I also limit my social media. I live with my parents, so if anything earth-shattering is happening, they show & tell me.
11 May 2018, 8:51 pm
a lot of the time, i want someone to talk to over FaceBook
face to face interaction sometimes serves a function. and i have nothing against building rapport. but, 
in real time . thoughts, emotions, actions, statements. it's just a bit too much. like juggling bowling balls or something. too much to keep track at the same time.
but anyways yes i do feel left out and lonely.
but whatever.
in the past, almost all precious lil "friends" ended up dumping me. or vice versa. usually they were not worth the energy that they acted like they were worth.
logic versus emotions
emotional rollercoaster
sometimes it's just easier to be left out, than go through precious lil "friend" after precious lil "friend"
16 May 2018, 11:06 am
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