by help, I mean the cashiers at the store.
When they ask you if you've found everything okay, tell them you couldn't find something you know they wouldn't have or don't even make like diet water, left-handed screwdrivers, low sodium salt and so on.
This is fun to to especially if the cashier is new. But don't do it when there's a line. If it's slow and no one else is in line, it's fun. Sometimes you can tell if they're new by their nametag. For some reason, the management wants people to prey on the new people. An unsavory customer bringing in something to return would take advantage of her not knowing the policy. This happened at Circuit City when I worked there. Someone brought in Windows Vista to return but the girl didn't know that you couldn't return software.
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That is my spot, in an ever changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a four dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot, from the moment I first sat on it, would be 0-0-0-0.