Ever been told its time to let your child "Sink or Swim

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Bad behavior? Laziness? They think he is choosing these things? No child in their right mind would do that so there is some reason behind it. Either he is AS or something else is going on. They should accept and accomodate for AS or figure out what the problem really is. Accepting AS seems much easier.

We found this out entirely by accident when DS had a meltdown in gym. They then told us that, if directed, they can disclose DS's 504 to the rest of the school staff, which we asked them to do. There was some blather about education, but clearly it's moving at a snail's pace.

Our son generally does well in the classroom, his teachers get it and are working carefully with him - it's EVERYWHERE ELSE that is the problem.

Thanks everyone for your input

The school got back to me this afternoon after school. They will not be contacting the AEA (ones who do the 504/IEP in our state). She says I need to go to my son's Autism Doctor and have him make a diagnosis about it and maybe see if he would order the tests

So now I have to see if our insurance would even pay for it. If not how much it would run etc.
I also think there is merit to the point made about having my own test results.

I do have a call in to verify they can't do the test but I'll start researching personal options.

As for him getting in trouble for bad behavior we have never punished him for getting in trouble with the school over the bullies.
Although we did have trouble in 5th grade over what he was doing at school.
The Dad's (real dad, step dad and granddad) were all telling him to fight back. Push, trip, punch, give as good as he got etc. No one punished him at home but the Dad's kept getting on to him every time there was trouble. The school's stand was do not do anything go directly to a teacher. If he fought back then he was in as much trouble as the other kid.
So all of a sudden he is getting in trouble at school for fighting back. But then other days he would tell a teacher.
Then I started noticing a pattern. So I asked my son why did he fight the other kid today but yesterday he didn't stand up for himself.
His answer: "today it was the teachers turn to be mad at me and all the Dads turn to be happy"
He was keeping track in his mind and would act a certain way depending on whose turn it was to be mad or happy at him.
So fighting back isn't the best answer for him. Nor i

not sure why that posted when I wasn't done but

All I was going to add was he isn't good with a battle of words either so its just teaching him coping skills and going to the school when it gets to bad.

Well I've been reading different posts here and think I've found a place that will help me understand things better so you'll probably see me around a bit.

Great! Good luck - and I'd do some checking and make sure the school isn't responsible to pay for the testing. FWIW, what our school did that passed for "testing" was singularly unhelpful; what finally worked for us was searching for a comprehensive program through our insurance's find-a-doctor program. The most helpful one so far is headed by a pediatric neurologist, but offered a multidisciplinary diagnostic system that includes, psychiatry, speech therapy, and a psychologist.

Brenda_D wrote: "They don't brief librarians, lunch room staff, PE, Art etc. due to privacy issues."

I feel this is a really important misstep. I teach a weekly homeschool class. On my first day of class, I was blindsided with a student who kept his head face down on the table when he wasn't being explosive. Both the mom and my director thought that the other had told me about the AS and ODD and no one did. How differently we could have begun this school year! I felt absolutely terrible and the child had a rotten start. We immediately brainstormed some strategies and we are doing okay but what a set-back compared to where we could be right now.

I think librarians, lunch room staff etc. are extremely important in an AS child's day!

Yes, totally true - and vitally important for parents to specify this at the 504 meeting. Should have been the responsibility of the caseworker to let us know we had to specify it, but then...

I would like to add my 2cents to this discussion. From personal experience as a high school art teacher for 10 years, I can tell you that at many schools teachers are NOT informed about students particular issues. Sometimes we are given a couple written sentences regarding the student - sometimes a copy of the "goals" on an IEP. Sometimes we are only given this information a day before the actual IEP... meaning we may have had the student in class for months and not have known there were issues!

I can't tell you how many times I made HUGE mistakes that could have been avoided had I known a student had issues that could have easily been addressed! (I remember requiring a dyslexic student to read out loud - and the situation turning into an all out brawl because I did not know why the child was acting out the way he was! Had I known - I would have never asked the student to read out loud. I also remember having a student who was deaf in one ear who I was always sending to detention because he was so non-compliant. Of course the student never told me, the school never told me, and it wasn't until the mom told me - that I moved the student to the front of the class and made sure he had actually heard me before reacting.)

Students are often their own worst enemy. They are embarrassed, or think the teacher already knows, or they want to be accepted - so they try to fly under the radar .... even if it means getting bad grades and getting detention.

It is a good idea to get all the accomodations down in writing, however - I think the best thing you can do is just spend 15 minutes with each teacher and have a frank discussion. The teacher does not want "bad behavior" any more than you or your child. Most teachers want to help and will gladly do so if they know and understand. The key is that they have to "get" what's going on. A face to face talk may be most helpful in getting the information across - and finding out what information the teacher actually has, if any.

Wanted to update this for future information

Not sure if this is nation wide or state by state but at least in my state no one with in the Public Education system can do any kind of testing that concerns executive function, mental development etc.
Because the results and information gathered leads to a Diagnosis and that Diagnosis can be wrong base on the results of this test. Most of the time incorrect results are due to human error of the adult giving the test. Due to the liability this places on the school or State Dept of Education and the damage to the child having been "labeled" wrong these kinds of testing are no longer preformed with in the Public Education system.
Ok that makes sense. I just wasn't thinking about the big picture.

I woke up at 4am this morning thinking about all this. 2nd Semester starts next Wed. There is no way I'm going to get the testing arranged in time to help this semester. I've got Insurance to figure out and in the state of Iowa there are only 2 people who do this type of testing. I'm still going to pursue it and hope to have him tested this summer in time for 11th grade.

But now how to get through this next Semester. Talking to the teachers is a great idea. I was already thinking on that line for at least 1 of the teachers. 3rd Quarter English is 9 weeks of Research Papers. My son faces several challenges before we even get to the actual subject of Research Papers. Hand writing, Spelling, Note taking, Keeping track of papers, Doesn't multi task very well, trouble with time management, doesn't approach teachers when he is confused or struggling with an assignment.
Do we want him to struggle through practicing his challenges or do we want him to finish having learned about Research Papers? He can still be practicing his challenges in his other classes. I'm going to have to figure out some realistic modifications before talking to the teacher.