This may surprise you.....

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but im not a churchgoer. My reasons for not going to church were re-enforced today.

Until September, i had been attending a Calvary Chapel. Ive known the pastor since i was 7, he is a good man, but his associate pastors and elders are off the deep end. The culture of C.C. is somewhat "bullyish". I consider myself an evangelical Christian, but these people go too far.

The Senior Pastor gave a message not too long ago about the financial situation of the church and how they have laid off a couple teacher in the school, and one of the associate pastors. Yet the week before, one of the other AP's was bragging about his brand new Audi.

I had been looking for an excuse to stop going because some of their messages struck a chord with me, so i chose to start working sundays, this way i did not have to "come clean" (many of the attendees stop at my convenience store), i had a viable excuse for not being there.

So now we come to today...
One of the elders, ill call him "Mike" stopped in for gas and we got to talking, he commented on my abscence in the past few months. I replied to him that "life is seasonal, perhaps my season at calvary is over and God wants be at work serving the people" he simply told me that i was wrong and that God wants me to be at church.

That really got to me... does Mike have a two way radio to the Almighty? Somehow i doubt God talks to others about me behind my back.

What upsets me about C.C. is that the pastors tend to claim a little extra authority than what the Bible gives to ministers. Since im a single 24 y/o man, i must be either gay, or an idiot....that sort of thing.

In their culture, if your son strays or "goes prodigal" it brings great shame upon his father for not raising him right. As much as i wish everyone believed in God, i do realize that we are all individuals, a father can do everything right, but the son must carve his own path.

They have basically turned fellowship into a pissing contest, arguing over who is the "more mature Christian". using phrases like "immature Christian" rubs me the wrong way, all Christians have much to learn from God, none of us has any right to say we are "better" than our brother.

I left Roman Catholicism in 2005 and never looked back, I began my Christian journey, came to realize what a jackass i had been (and am) got saved and started looking for a conservative evangelical Church. I tried out a Baptist Church in 2008, they were "stuffier" than the Catholic church. In april of 2010 i started going to Calvary, by july i began to realize the "bullishness" of their culture. They are a church for moderately wealthy men and women with children (soccer moms and nascar dads), not for people like me, who by their standards aren't even "men".

I will always be a Christian, that is my defining characteristic, nothing will change that. i am just coming to realize that churches, being run by flawed humans, are going to have flaws, i should just go it alone...

The last time i "went out on a date" was June 9, 2006, and even then, the girl was just using me. Her father didnt want her to go to the concert alone, she even kissed me on the way home, but i found out later it was all a sham. I try to tell myself i dont need other people,be it in fellowship situations, or in relationship situations, but a part of me still longs for human relationships.

Jesus is the only friend who has never ditched me, stolen from me, used me, or embarrassed me publicly. If only He were in physical form on earth....

My life really improved when I stopped being Christian. I started going to doctors, therapists, support groups and I started taking medications.

If you think back before Christianity, Sunday is the day people worshiped the sun god. But people finally accepted that the sun is a ball of gas and its gravity keeps Earth in orbit. And we went on just fine without sun gods. And we'll go on just fine when Christianity comes to an end. I've read that there are 15000 known religions. You're free to find another one.

Calvary Chapels have gotten weird in recent years. I used to go to one as well. I suggest you check out other churches in your area.

Jesus himself is the high Priest, the mediator between God and Man, all these religions, they all put themselves in the position of Jesus when they are not.
Go directly to Jesus, you allready know you can find who the real Jesus is in the Bible.
Though I miss association with other Christians, I will wait for the "Two Witnesses" to re-establish true Christianity and join the congregation they direct us to.

Christ came that we might be one, not so that we would have to "go it alone" - and really, isn't that the easy route for us? I'm not making an argument for Calvary, or any evangelical church - I'm Roman Catholic and I've heard too many stories like yours (check out the website Internet Monk sometime). But I hope you can find a church or a community that enables you to see past the people, past their flaws and yours, to the Truth it contains.

I think that those who claim to know what God wants are either delusional or frauds. For the former, they can only know what they imagine that God wants and for the latter, they say what they want to manipulate people.