So what do you do when NTs

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misunderstand your motivations and what you have said and insist that their interpretation is correct, and use your responses to validate said interpretation? It's a catch-22.

I'd been doing so well with most people I knew online, I was starting to wonder if I was starting to get the hang of socializing, and now I get this.

Maybe my responses for awkward/unpleasant situations with people I perceive to be friends are flawed. Or my interpretation of those situations is flawed.

When this happened to me at work I would start to site all the screws ups they have done in the past or how many times I was right and they were wrong. People hated arguing with me so I would get my way most of the time because I would make sure to argue in front of an audience who would laugh at the things I would say about the person who was arguing with me.

They would say I could not remember what I did 15 minutes ago but I will remember every mistake you ever made in the nine years I worked with them.

I usually try to re-explain what I was saying in different terms - reframe the context. However, I find that this often still does not work, as it is seen as over explaining...sigh...

I think, going over the conversation I stumbled into along with my direct interactions, that I am inclined to just let things fall by the wayside. I don't like drama, and they seem to be intent upon manufacturing it, mischaracterizing me, and revealing information I shared in confidence.

I deal with it by not caring too much. Explaining can lead to even more boring situations. I would say "You are wrong". And that would be all.

It is a relief that I can count on myself and that I know its not my obligation to teach others about other points of views.

If it is really bad, and somebody thinks I intended something cruel etc. I would tell them again what they think and say again that they are wrong and that their point of view is a surprise to me.

Obviously I don't know the details of the conversation, but you could just apologize and move on.

My solution is not to talk to people like that any more than I absolutely must. Trying to change people's thinking is usually a waste of time, and I have better things to do than waste time on futile attempts to enlighten the deliberately ignorant.

My re-explaining something in more detail gets thrown back at me as ranting, but it's still clear to me that they haven't got what I was saying.
Then I'm accused of being defensive as I start getting ratty through frustration at their still not getting it.

Meh. It becomes a lose-lose situation in that the more I say in attempting to show their mistake, the more convinced they become of their "rightness" - irrespective of what I may add, it seems. Apparently just making any type of response fuels their "rightness".
It all usually results in their walking off, tut-tutting about me being argumentative - and me quietly fuming about fixed opinions and a refusal to just listen to me.