Would you ever consider cheating?

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Would you
Absolutely not! I will always be honest! 68%  68%  [ 34 ]
I can't guarantee that I won't ever. 28%  28%  [ 14 ]
Of course! Don't like 'em? Secretly start an affair!! 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 50

ToadOfSteel
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17 Jan 2011, 12:14 am

Not an option for me. Anyone I would be able to love (which to me is a requirement if a woman wants to be my gf for whatever reason) will have already earned my loyalty. Friends, some family, and lovers all need to earn that loyalty, but once earned, unless they betray that loyalty, they will have that loyalty forever. Take my ex for example. While she did break up with me, she never betrayed me throughout it, so while I might not even talk to her much or even associate with her lately, I still would never betray her emotionally...

And that loyalty to those that have earned it is the one part of my personality that doesn't waver. Cheating in the emotional and sexual sense is literally against my wiring; it's more likely that I could approach a complete stranger for no reason than I could cheat on a partner.

On the other hand, cheating in the academic sense I engaged in a few times when I was in middle school and high school. I never used illicit means to improve my own scores, and never plagiarized a paper. However, I was caught a few times giving away test answers to others (often people that earned said loyalty above).



Kilroy
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17 Jan 2011, 12:33 am

depends on who and the situation, but I am not pretending to be mr.nice guy like so many here
I, like so many humans, want to get ahead, I am first in my book



Esther
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17 Jan 2011, 12:44 am

I wouldn't want to be cheated on, so it's not something I would do. I like to place myself in others' shoes sometimes.

Kilroy, why do you think so many here are just pretending with their answers? And in case you want to be in a relationship now or in the future, it will fail if you are first in your book. This applies to everyone here, including me.



Kilroy
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17 Jan 2011, 12:46 am

Esther wrote:
I wouldn't want to be cheated on, so it's not something I would do. I like to place myself in others' shoes sometimes.

Kilroy, why do you think so many here are just pretending with their answers? And in case you want to be in a relationship now or in the future, it will fail if you are first in your book. This applies to everyone here, including me.


first in my book, I dont understand that phrase
(oh btw, dont act like you know me so much, you cant know how anything will go by some words I say)
(I mean in a general sense, not this thread sense)



Esther
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17 Jan 2011, 12:56 am

Kilroy wrote:
first in my book, I dont understand that phrase
(oh btw, dont act like you know me so much, you cant know how anything will go by some words I say)
(I mean in a general sense, not this thread sense)




I'm just quoting you. You said, "I, like so many humans, want to get ahead, I am first in my book." And I don't know you at all, that's why I was curious to see your answer. I hope I haven't offended you.

But I've seen your picture. :twisted:



Kilroy
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17 Jan 2011, 12:59 am

oooh that, I meant I mean more to myself then anyone

so...I dont care, I posted that like 3-4 years ago, lord knows why people decided to dig it up
if you're trying to sound threatening, its really not working



Esther
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17 Jan 2011, 1:06 am

Kilroy, I'm kidding! I thought the smiley would have sufficed. I've no reason to threaten anyone here. Oh dear. I've made balls of this.

I was actually going to follow it up with, "But I've seen your picture. And you're very cute." But I didn't want to be so juvenile seeing as I'm old enough to be your much older sister. But there, you got me explaining.



Kilroy
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17 Jan 2011, 1:09 am

yeah, I either tend to get defensive or...just dont care personally
(I have probably gone after older, with mixed results)



wefunction
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17 Jan 2011, 1:09 am

I've cheated before in bad relationships.

The first time wasn't really a bad relationship. It just wasn't a relationship anymore. We'd grown too much apart and were more roommates. No sex, no friendship, nothing. I should have ended it before I started dating but I didn't. We did end it, though... and not because I was seeing other people... it was because we had no relationship at all. It was the easiest and most obvious break-up of my life.

The other time was when I was in an abusive marriage with my ex-husband. I look at it as self-preservation. I was stuck in such a rut. If you don't already know, domestic violence victims often are stuck. They don't see what everyone else sees, that they can just leave. I was stuck like that. It took the affair for me to remember that I'm human and entitled to a few things, like respect, love, good treatment, etc. If it wasn't for the affair, I don't know how long I would've stayed in that horrible situation.

I haven't cheated on my current husband but there's never been any emotional or physical desire to do so. I'm attracted to other people but that's not enough to make me want to do anything with them and risk losing everything that I have. I can't always guarantee that I will be that smart about it. But I did take vows, I meant them and I'll do my best to keep them. I love the guy and he's good to me so I've got lots of motivation to not be a jerk.



nick007
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17 Jan 2011, 10:46 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Cheating in the emotional and sexual sense is literally against my wiring

I like this phrase. I might use it in the future, I don't even want to admit to myself that I find another girl attractive. My partner could make a comment about another girls outfit being cute or something & I wouldn't want to look because I'd feel like I'm doing something wrong. But I'd be hurt if she made a comment about how another guy looks. I'm very insecure & jealous & don't want to be hypocritical. Ironiclly thou I've taken lots of online quizes & test about different things & some of em actually say that I am more likely to cheat because I have lots of anxiety & people who have anxiety issues tend to be exhibitionist or something like they do stuff that tigers anxiety including cheating. Also the fact that I'm still a virgin means that 1ce I start having sex; I may become like addicted ot it or something. I did have a bad porn addiction 8 years ago because of extremely bad OCD issues & I still struggle with those OCD issues & porn; i try to avoid it because it's hard for me to stop even thou I'm not enjoying it. I hope those theories are total cr@p but some small part of me thinks their might could be some truth to em & that scares me


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emlion
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17 Jan 2011, 10:50 am

Nope. Faithful to the end.
I'm lucky to get a guy, why would i risk that?



jc6chan
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17 Jan 2011, 11:15 am

Interesting thing is that it happens all the time...despite the poll results, well, I'm not sure about the RATE at which the cheating is going on, but it could also be that many would be like "I wouldn't do it" but when the opportunity comes, they fall into the trap.



MidlifeAspie
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17 Jan 2011, 11:31 am

Kilroy wrote:
I am not pretending to be mr.nice guy like so many here


I don't begin to pretend that my response has anything to do with being a nice guy. I just know how my Aspie mind responds to guilt, and it would cripple me and the wonderful life I have managed against all odds to put together for myself. Not only what it would do to my wife, but the very idea of leaving my son without a father living at home is enough to put me over the edge just thinking about it.

As I said, I would not invite that kind of pain into my life.



Asp-Z
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17 Jan 2011, 12:25 pm

If I felt the need to cheat, I'd have to question the quality of the relationship I'm in, but even then I'd either try and sort it out or break it up before starting something with another girl.



emlion
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17 Jan 2011, 12:31 pm

Exactly! The people who cheat want to have their cake and eat it.
Break up with the person you're with if you want someone else. Simple.



Wombat
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17 Jan 2011, 10:11 pm

What is "cheating"? On a husband or wife that is a very bad thing because you have given a solemn vow not to do that.

But what if you are 17 years old? Do you have to marry the first person you date?

Let's say I am a 17 year old boy and I meet a cute girl. I say "Let's go out". She says "I have a boyfriend"

Of course she has a boyfriend. Doesn't every girl? Do I care? No.

She fancies me. I might be a better catch than her present boyfriend.

Do I expect her to say "Wait! I will dump my boyfriend and then I will go out with you"

What if she dumps her boyfriend (whom she likes) only to find out that she doesn't like me?

So she "cheats" on him to "test the water" with me.

Perhaps I am doing the same with my own girlfriend.

Hey, that's life.