Asking a girl a drive-thru girl on a date - Few quick ????'s

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ElmoTheDestroyer
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17 Jan 2011, 6:35 am

So, there is a girl at a local fast food joint. She works the drive thru at night… I’ve seen her 3-4 times, and she seems far more interested in me than any other fast food people do.

I haven’t dated in 6 years due to my Aspergers being undiagnosed, and relationships always falling apart without me having a clue why… Now, I’m much more aware of myself after the diagnosis… I’ve been considering dating again, and I’d like to ask this girl out for coffee or something, but I have a few questions…

1) I’ve tried to stop by a few times and keep missing her… Is it a bad idea to ask one of her co-workers when she works again? Or will that seem to stalker like/creepy?

2) Assuming I get a first date… How soon should I ask her if she’d like to spend Valentines day with me? (or “To be my Valentine” :) ) … I don’t want to ask to early, or seem to eager to schedule future dates with her, but, assuming the first date goes well, I’d like to make a Valentines date with her… I’d just hate to have some other guy beat me to the punch! :) I’ve also had problems with waiting too long with stuff like this and end up missing out cuz someone else asked, or she got sick of waiting for someone…

3) When I ask her if she wants to go out for coffee, do I just ask her for her number and tell her ill call her to finalize details? I don’t want to talk to her for too long while she’s working. Or do I try to setup a time/date right there? When during the process of asking her for coffee do I ask for her number?

Lol, I’m bad at this to begin with, then being 6-7 years out of practice… I’m amazed how mentally consuming all this is.. :)

Thanks for any advice/help!
--ElmoTheDestroyer



Grisha
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17 Jan 2011, 10:46 am

This is purely hypothetical because I could never do what you're attempting to do. But I thought about what I would do in that situation because it was kind of fun.

You need to "close" very quickly without cornering her.

Why not ask her for the first digit of her telephone number? Worked for me once.

If she says "6" you smile and say thank you.

If she gives you all the digits, mission accomplished.

Good luck!



Yupa
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17 Jan 2011, 11:18 am

Doing this in the first place will seem creepy.

You're not in a romantic comedy. If you do this in real life, you will come across as pathetic.

My advice: DON'T.



Grisha
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17 Jan 2011, 11:47 am

Yupa wrote:
Doing this in the first place will seem creepy.

You're not in a romantic comedy. If you do this in real life, you will come across as pathetic.

My advice: DON'T.


There's the "creepy" thing again :roll:

I'm beginning to think that if people around here weren't so hyper-concerned about looking "creepy" they actually might get a date once in a while.

What's the harm?

"creepiness" only comes into play if she makes it clear she's not interested and yet he keeps bothering her.



emlion
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17 Jan 2011, 11:49 am

^ Just that.

If she says no/implies no. Stop trying with her, else it is super-creepy.

If you wanna go for it, whats the harm? The worst she can do is say no!



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17 Jan 2011, 12:17 pm

Some guy tried that with my sister...twelve years (and counting) and five children ago. It can work out, and it doesn't need to be creepy. Just be aware you're probably not the first drive-thru customer to have asked her, especially if she's an attractive sort.

(edit: In her case, she did say no; he came back; the rose he brought her got put in the walk-in and forgotten; he came back; she decided to take the risk and see where things went. Giving it a couple tries could come across as stalking, or it could be a way to show her you're not just a guy cruising drive-thrus in search of dates. It's situational.)



Last edited by Natty_Boh on 17 Jan 2011, 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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17 Jan 2011, 12:23 pm

There was a girl I liked at work a couple years ago. I wasn't really sure what I wanted, but I thought she was cute. So I just walked up to her, looked in the eye and asked for her number. She gave it to me without hesitation. It's amazing what the difference is between "Can I have your number?" and "What's your cell phone number?" Never ask permission, just ask forgiveness, if necessary.



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17 Jan 2011, 12:41 pm

All I can add is that you have only seen the girl 3-4 times and have not yet even asked her on a date or spent time actually interacting with her - yet you are going into this situation already wondering when is too early to ask her to "be your valentine". It seems to me you may be putting the cart WAY in front of the horse and you may want to make sure you actually like spending time with her before you start worrying about when you can take the "relationship" to the next level without even knowing if you are compatible.

If you go into this with things built up in your head to be more than they actually are you are asking for disappointment and difficulty. Take things easy and one step at a time.



DigitalDesperado
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17 Jan 2011, 12:42 pm

Go for it!
Just do it in a fun / playful way as Grisha suggested. If she is interested, you will get a number - if she's not, you will at least get a smile. Any potential awkwardness will be avoided and it will leave the door open for her to change her mind in the future.



CinnamonGirl
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17 Jan 2011, 12:47 pm

First off, I'd like to applaud ur courage! There are a lot of people around here who wouldn't put themselves in such a situation, so good for u for going for it! Six years out of the dating scene can be daunting, but just remember to try and sound as casual as possible. I don't think it's a bad idea per se to ask when she works next, but I would be careful in how u word it. U will want to come off as sincere/sweet (which I'm assuming u are) instead of stalker-like. Being up-front and asking will hopefully avoid u having to drive by and see if she's working...that would certainly earn u a stalker reputation and could end up frightening or angering the girl if she knows/notices u doing it and blow all ur chances with her. If u are successful with getting a date with her, I would really hold off on asking about Valentine's Day until u've at least had a few dates and are better able to tell her interest level. That to me would be weird if a guy I just met wanted to 'schedule' me for Valentine's Day in order to beat other guys to the punch. I understand that u may really want to spend that day with her, but it's just a day...u can have days of romance that don't have to fall on Feb. 14th, and if u rush her with the goal of having a valentine, u may end up turning her off in the process. Asking for her number to set up a date sounds perfectly reasonable, especially since u will be talking to her while she's working, and most employers don't like employees doing personal things whilst on the clock.

This type of situation can definitely work out in ur favour! I met my partner on a city bus 14 years ago. We went to different schools and saw each other almost daily - I often tried to time which bus I rode so that I could see him. One day, he had asked my friend my name so that the next time he saw me, he could introduce himself. I didn't even know that he already knew my name until he explained that he talked to my friend the last time he saw me get off the bus. I found it endearing and sweet, especially since I was insanely interested in this guy.

Good luck to u!!



Last edited by CinnamonGirl on 17 Jan 2011, 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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17 Jan 2011, 9:09 pm

Wow. If you can pick up a girl in a drive-thru then you are truly a man among men.

"Give me a burger and a coke and your phone number"



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17 Jan 2011, 11:09 pm

Grisha wrote:
Yupa wrote:
Doing this in the first place will seem creepy.

You're not in a romantic comedy. If you do this in real life, you will come across as pathetic.

My advice: DON'T.


There's the "creepy" thing again :roll:

I'm beginning to think that if people around here weren't so hyper-concerned about looking "creepy" they actually might get a date once in a while.

What's the harm?

"creepiness" only comes into play if she makes it clear she's not interested and yet he keeps bothering her.



I agree with Grisha! Why do people keep discouraging a nice guy from asking out a girl and telling him he will be perceived as a "creep"?

As long as a guy asks out a girl sincerely and respectfully, most women will not think he's a "creep" unless he does not take no for an answer if she turns him down..

OP, I hope you muster up the courage and ask the girl out! You sound like you really like her! Good luck!!



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17 Jan 2011, 11:10 pm

emlion wrote:
^ Just that.

If she says no/implies no. Stop trying with her, else it is super-creepy.

If you wanna go for it, whats the harm? The worst she can do is say no!


Right on Emlion!



HopefulRomantic
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17 Jan 2011, 11:12 pm

DigitalDesperado wrote:
Go for it!
Just do it in a fun / playful way as Grisha suggested. If she is interested, you will get a number - if she's not, you will at least get a smile. Any potential awkwardness will be avoided and it will leave the door open for her to change her mind in the future.


Right on!



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18 Jan 2011, 3:13 am

Don't ask for her number.

This is what I would do....assuming you give her the money for the order. With the cash, give her a card with a note on it:

"Hi, my name is (name), would you like to get some coffee sometime?"

And write your phone number on it. Even if you turns you down right there, you can say, "Well, if you ever change your mind you have my number"

Nice, sweet, no pressure on her.