Someone u know that can't grasp the fact u have AS

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I'm sick & tired of my dad not being able to grasp the fact that I have AS. If he does grasp the fact, he makes fun of me. He thinks that just because I have AS, that it means that I would have the ability to diagnose his very vague instructions when he generally tells me to do something or tells me something he found out that he knows I would like. He also thinks that I don't need a lot of repetition to learn general things over and over (usually it has to do with the computer). He's known that I have had AS for about 4 years now. I'm just frustrated that he doesn't grasp it like I thought he would. He says that Aspies can get a job & that I'm holding myself back because I'm using my mental illness as a crutch & that I let fear rule my life. I told my mom about what my dad thinks about my AS & she does not agree with him.

I hear you man.

As you know it is hard for people with AS to understand people and hard to function around others without getting overwhelmed with nerves.

As a young child, my dad seemed to believe that being really sarcastic and playing stupid jokes was the best way to teach me how to judge people properly. "you need to learn to take a joke patrick"

Was sooo frustrating, because, being anxious around him made it harder for me to learn to trust and act naturally around other people through school.

Best thing you can do is to possibly find a job where you feel comfortable. Most of the time it is cleaning jobs i apply for where i can work more or less by myself.

It could be a step towards keeping yourself occupied and motivating yourself towards a better job or a part time job for college.

That is what i hope i can do.

If you want any help developing a CV i can help with that.

in my two years of unemployment i have become an expert at filling applications and writing CVs

Try not to care to much of the negative things he says.
I was quite an expert misunderstanding my parents when I was at your age. And there has always been a lot of criticism from my parents I was quite struggling with. I never told them how it hurt me though.

Go your way. It's not your responsibility to fulfill any expectations they have. Except finding your place in life, a job and maybe founding a family.Take the time you need for yourself.

Could it be that perhaps your father is trying to be encouraging and perhaps he is just coming off wrong and not expressing his true intentions or feelings about your AS very well.

Parents generally fall into two categories. Those who tend to discourage their children, and those who tend to encourage their children.

My mother tends to be the former and my father tends to be the latter. My mother discouraged out of fear we would fail or get hurt. My father encouraged out of fear we would short change ourselves. Somewhere between that tug of war I found the boundaries of my abilities..

Your father is correct that many with AS hold jobs. Even well paying, professional jobs. The jobs most people with AS tend to struggle with are the basic entry level, customer service type jobs that require learning few, if any skills, as they tend to be skills NT's have. People with AS tend to be good at specialized jobs that require higher education, or jobs where there is a lot of autonomy in the workplace...that is, you don't have someone on your case all the time.

I'm so sorry, Byron, and......

Now you are an adult. Certain individuals miserably lack understanding and perspective - cognitive dissonance. How does one deal with people they cannot deal with? Answer: You don't deal with them.

Instead, do what you need must do and make the best of yourself. You'll be all right.

Ahem....certain [neuro/psych] individuals are on the Therapist Slayer's black list for crimes against Aspies involving their own grevious cognitive dissonance. Before their descent into Hades, they endure the Therapist Slayer's wrath. Starting with their being sacked (did that).

Anyway, you have my sympathies and although your father might mean well, he may not know what he's saying/doing. Just move forward from that. Wishing you all the best, Byron.

You have my sympathy's dude, my dad is the same way (well similar at any rate).