Strange NT Behaviour - Speculations and POVs Requested

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

BeauZa
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 483
Location: New South Wales, Australia

23 Jan 2011, 10:16 am

This evening I was to attend a dinner outing with my mum, step-dad and his daughter, who I was informed only the day before would be bringing a cohort along. When said cohort and I greeted each other this was simply a handshake followed by the standard "How are you?", to which we both basically replied "Good." *facepalm*

Following the table seating, the evening ensued; long story short this consisted entirely of Mum, Steve (step-dad), Bep (step-sister) and Courtney holding the conversation amongst themselves, while I stayed perfectly quiet as I would in a social setting. Here and there I would have a question posed to me based on the topic of current but before I could begin or get through my answer, Mum would interject (friggin' ironic as I'm always being told not to do this, and I admit I have a slightly habit of it), thus letting the conversation slide back into it's comfortable no-Beau fashion. Meanwhile Courtney didn't dare say a word to me except ask me if I liked cricket, no doubt driven by my watching South Africa Vs. India on the TV set (only because I was beyond bored... and I HATE the cricket).

At the conclusion of the evening - and this is the clincher - as we were saying our farewells, Courtney said to me "Nice meeting you, Beau" while Mum insisted I responded to her offer of a handshake as opposed to a casual "Keep it real"...
Was I the only one mortified by the absurdity of this situation? Courtney and I hardly "met", barely even talked, and here I am being made to make a whole big deal out of parting with this woman.

Now, the question I wish to pose here is was I in the wrong here? I mean I understand that the lack of communication may have stemmed from my playing mute but it bears repeating that this is the game I always play in crowded places. Nonetheless I just need an Aspie's outsider opinion, but overall I just feel like my company was grossly non-receptive of my outward presentation and just generally pig-headed.

Thank you for your time and valued opinion. :)



QuelOround
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 135
Location: Dallas, Texas

23 Jan 2011, 2:32 pm

Hmmm... to me it was only a handshake I would just get it over with.



arielhawksquill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,830
Location: Midwest

23 Jan 2011, 3:15 pm

Maybe the whole thing was meant to be a set-up between you and the girl--like your mom and sister conspired to have you meet her friend, who was single, in hopes you would get on together? So your mom was invested in your behaving politely to the girl because she hoped you'd see each other again.



BeauZa
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 483
Location: New South Wales, Australia

23 Jan 2011, 8:26 pm

QuelOround wrote:
Hmmm... to me it was only a handshake I would just get it over with.


I guess you're right. It could have been worse, I could've been asked to hug or something weird, but it's just that I was in such a hurry to get the heck out of there and I was annoyed that Mum wouldn't let me go on a verbal greeting.



BeauZa
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 483
Location: New South Wales, Australia

23 Jan 2011, 8:32 pm

arielhawksquill wrote:
Maybe the whole thing was meant to be a set-up between you and the girl--like your mom and sister conspired to have you meet her friend, who was single, in hopes you would get on together? So your mom was invested in your behaving politely to the girl because she hoped you'd see each other again.


That's a very interesting way to look at it! However, apart from the fact that she already had a significant other, I know that she couldn't have been less motivated to talk to me given that she spent the whole night talking to everyone else. I also suspected a major bromance between her and Mum; as the night dragged on and the latter became more and more soused she was touching and stroking the former like a silk sheet... my goodness... -_-



elderwanda
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,534
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

23 Jan 2011, 9:04 pm

I've noticed that a lot of mothers do little controlling things where they think their kids may need help. Yes, you are 18, but if your mother is anything like I am with my own kids, she sees you as 2, 5, 10, 15, AND 18 years old, all at once, because she's got your whole lifetime and development fresh in her mind. She may be under the impression, possibly wrongly so, that you need those little bits of guidance and advice. Mothers are often wrong about these things, but their intentions are usually good.

It reminds me of one time when I saw a 10 year old girl that I know from my son's school. She had a really flattering new haircut, and I decided to compliment her on it. She said thank-you without prompting, but her mother didn't notice, because she was so busy continuously nudging her and whispering, "Say thank you!"

Anyway, handshake or friendly, casual comment, either way is okay. Handshakes seem a little formal for that situation, but I don't really know your culture, so maybe it isn't.



BeauZa
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 483
Location: New South Wales, Australia

23 Jan 2011, 9:18 pm

elderwanda wrote:
It reminds me of one time when I saw a 10 year old girl that I know from my son's school. She had a really flattering new haircut, and I decided to compliment her on it. She said thank-you without prompting, but her mother didn't notice, because she was so busy continuously nudging her and whispering, "Say thank you!"

Anyway, handshake or friendly, casual comment, either way is okay. Handshakes seem a little formal for that situation, but I don't really know your culture, so maybe it isn't.


My gosh, my mum does that all the time! I can't name all the times I've returned someone's greeting only to have her nag me to say hello/goodbye just because she didn't hear me say it... there's another thing! No one ever hears my voice! I talk as clearly as I can but I may as well not say anything with the way I get overlooked and interrupted... grr... -_-

In Australia handshaking is a common greeting; when someone offers a handshake it is best to accept, however I didn't even see any iota of hands or shakes because I was starting towards the van. I was dead tired.