Should I post my REAL height/weight on a dating site?

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b9
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24 Jan 2011, 7:49 am

it is so obvious that you can not lie.
the only reason i can think of that anyone could lie is that they wish to experience a temporary crush that someone may develop for them based on untruths.

how pathetic. falsehoods are unsustainable and you must tell the truth so that you may attract those who are aware of who you are even if it may take a long time.

the world is full of people who select who they wish to love based on appearances, and therefore it is full of shallowness and cheapness of endeavor, but if someone can love you for who you are then you can cuddle them with complete trust.

if no one has yet seen a reason to love you, and you accept the advances of someone who is attracted to what you falsely say you are, then you have not allowed sufficient time to elapse before you cave in and accept the affections of those who admire your dishonest representation of yourself.

love based on dishonesty will tumble as surely as a tower built on quicksand.



CockneyRebel
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24 Jan 2011, 7:53 am

I'd give out my real height and weight if I were you. I'm also about size acceptance, so it might be a little different for me, as well.


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24 Jan 2011, 9:53 am

b9 wrote:
it is so obvious that you can not lie.
the only reason i can think of that anyone could lie is that they wish to experience a temporary crush that someone may develop for them based on untruths.

how pathetic. falsehoods are unsustainable and you must tell the truth so that you may attract those who are aware of who you are even if it may take a long time.

the world is full of people who select who they wish to love based on appearances, and therefore it is full of shallowness and cheapness of endeavor, but if someone can love you for who you are then you can cuddle them with complete trust.


if no one has yet seen a reason to love you, and you accept the advances of someone who is attracted to what you falsely say you are, then you have not allowed sufficient time to elapse before you cave in and accept the affections of those who admire your dishonest representation of yourself.

love based on dishonesty will tumble as surely as a tower built on quicksand.


First of all, I agree with this. Secondly, there is a book that really matches the bolded part that I read last year, but I can't remember what it was called.


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Bethie
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24 Jan 2011, 3:30 pm

For the second time,
I didn't mean to imply I was willing to lie.
I'm not.
I meant: should I put my real number out there or not enter that information at all.

I also had no idea this thread would grow to three pages after I made up my mind. WP for ya. :D Thanks for all the input. (I nearly typed "fish" just then...)

And, for the record, I fail to see how wanting to be judged by the content of your character as opposed to how much space you take up characterizes a "princess mentality".


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sunshower
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24 Jan 2011, 5:15 pm

Bethie wrote:
And, for the record, I fail to see how wanting to be judged by the content of your character as opposed to how much space you take up characterizes a "princess mentality".


Ignore him, it's just chauvinism.


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Meow101
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24 Jan 2011, 5:33 pm

Bethie wrote:
For the second time,
I didn't mean to imply I was willing to lie.
I'm not.
I meant: should I put my real number out there or not enter that information at all.

I also had no idea this thread would grow to three pages after I made up my mind. WP for ya. :D Thanks for all the input. (I nearly typed "fish" just then...)

And, for the record, I fail to see how wanting to be judged by the content of your character as opposed to how much space you take up characterizes a "princess mentality".


I don't get that either. I personally think men who aren't willing to look past the superficial aren't worth your time, or mine. I don't judge men by their weight or their looks, and don't expect to be subjected to unequal treatment (my weight is in the average range but I recognize that people can gain or lose weight and it shouldn't be such a big freaking issue).

~Kate


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zen_mistress
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25 Jan 2011, 5:44 am

Exactly.


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blue_bean
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26 Jan 2011, 2:48 am

So AA requires you to put your exact weight in your profile? Weird :? (it's usually considered taboo to ask a lady her weight)
Most dating sites just make you put a choice of thin/average/athletic/a bit extra/overweight. I'm stuck somewhere between thin and average so it's a bit hard for me.



Hector
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26 Jan 2011, 4:04 am

I don't see what the big deal is as long as you have a picture on your profile and that picture is reasonably representative of what you look like.



Bethie
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26 Jan 2011, 3:16 pm

Hector wrote:
I don't see what the big deal is as long as you have a picture on your profile and that picture is reasonably representative of what you look like.


Well, it's of my face, like everyone else's...


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happymusic
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26 Jan 2011, 5:23 pm

Do they have a curvy option instead? I personally like girls with curves or pleasantly plump or womanly or whatever you want to call it. i'm sure there are guys of my same inclination out there. A lot of guys don't have a good gauge on number of pounds anyway, since they don't usually weigh themselves as frequently as women. Weird they'd ask you for an exact weight. Bleh.



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26 Jan 2011, 5:57 pm

I've got a fairly good gauge going on these days actually. 130 seems to be a good weight for girls of average height 160 for the girls that get up to almost 6 feet. Of course there is some forgiveness for extra weight in the right areas. I'm 162lbs right now, I've gone as low as 150lbs when I didn't have money to eat and 170 at the height of my weighlifting. I think I would be much better off at 180lbs and missing about 5lbs of fat. I probably weigh myself every time I go to my grandmothers and half the time when I go to Publix.


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Seiblue
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26 Jan 2011, 10:00 pm

Much to my surprise, men love big girls. Last year I was living with a coworker of mine who was roughly 5'9" and about 350 - 400 lbs. I'm not really one of those that can guess weight just by looking, but nevertheless she was, as Gabriel Iglesias would say, in the range of DAMN! At work, we all agreed it'd be amusing to see the responses she'd get on Craigslist if she posted an ad. Yes, sleaze central, but home girl got replies for DAYS!

The problem with this, sadly, is that while men may be sexually attracted to bigger women, or for some other reason, society's standards look down upon a relatively good-looking or decent man going out with a bigger girl. That's bollocks if you ask me, a bigger guy.

What I have learned, however, is that taking care of yourself and exuding the love for and confidence in yourself that everyone should embrace begets a better, genuine response from potential lovers. Now, I don't mean hit the gym Biggest Loser style and diet like mad. Be stylish in your own right. Be tidy; take that extra couple of minutes to do your hair the way you like it and fix little details. When you say 'whatever', so will others. And when you're getting ready to go out where you might meet someone, be it with friends to hang out or to the... Well, that's about all I do, so God knows where you'll go, but when you are getting ready, put some upbeat music on, sing along, and just love yourself in the mirror while you get yourself together. Tell yourself you're beautiful, because you are. And when you can have fun with yourself in the mirror, that will show when you leave the house.

In turn, when you talk about yourself on an online profile, you'll be more likely to say things about yourself with confidence. So when you go fill out an AA or OKC profile, and it asks your weight, you'll say, "Yeah, I'm big! What's up?!" And I feel the need to quote RuPaul, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gon' love somebody else? Can I get an Amen up in here?"



Hector
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28 Jan 2011, 12:51 pm

happymusic wrote:
Do they have a curvy option instead? I personally like girls with curves or pleasantly plump or womanly or whatever you want to call it. i'm sure there are guys of my same inclination out there. A lot of guys don't have a good gauge on number of pounds anyway, since they don't usually weigh themselves as frequently as women. Weird they'd ask you for an exact weight. Bleh.

I don't know how many men I'm speaking for, but personally whenever I see the term "curvy" used in a woman's dating profile I presume that the person is at least somewhat overweight. In fact, I'd further assume that being overweight is all it means so it's basically a euphemism. That wouldn't necessarily put me off, but it's how I read it.



Hector
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28 Jan 2011, 12:55 pm

Bethie wrote:
Hector wrote:
I don't see what the big deal is as long as you have a picture on your profile and that picture is reasonably representative of what you look like.


Well, it's of my face, like everyone else's...

Though I feel that linking to particular profiles here would be overstepping a personal boundary, a quick search through Aspie Affection reveals that some of the women there are posting pictures of more than their faces. Many have multiple pictures, and some of these are waist-up.



Volodja
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28 Jan 2011, 1:54 pm

I don't even KNOW my weight

Anyway, I would just leave that option out if you're not comfortable with it. Don't you have a photo on there? Most photoless profiles on dating sites aren't gonna get much I don't think. I could be wrong though

btw there's nothing wrong with not finding bigger women attractive. Some guys don't like skinny girls either. I have preferences when it comes to physical attraction. If I was just looking for friendship, size would mean nothing. For a dating site though, physical attraction IS important to most people. Doesn't make them a bad person