I don't get along, but want to hear her point of view

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What is your natural response when you have a conflict with friends?
Find middle ground. 25%  25%  [ 1 ]
Rant to others/gossip 50%  50%  [ 2 ]
Bottle it up inside you 25%  25%  [ 1 ]
Automatically blame the other person without giving them a chance 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 4

tomboywriter101
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23 Jan 2011, 5:36 pm

I was new at my middle school last year and I soon became friends with this girl. We were close friends last year, but over the summer and this year, she's been bossy, argumentive, and wants things her way. I was more willing to follow her around last year, but now I can't stand her sometimes.

This is a minor issue but I feel it will provide a window into what I'm thinking. So the whole class went on a hike for a field trip. We took the bus there and my friends and I were trying to decide who to ride with. I'll make the girl I'm talking about girl A. I sat with girl B on the way there but she sat with girl C on the way back, but wanted to sit across from me so we were able to talk. Girl A just said, "Oh, we're sitting together. I'll sit in the aisle." Then I sat across from girl B as I had wanted and girl A wondered why I didn't sit with her. Her defense was "I thought we were going to sit together". Other girls (our friends) understood her point of view. I simply said "I never agreed to it/I never said 'yes'." The reason I didn't say 'no' before we boarded the bus was because I although I wanted to be able to tell her "no" without having to worry about sparing her emotions, I knew she would've asked "why" and the reason being was I just didn't want to be around her. Again, this was a MINOR issue, but I felt I needed to give an example. Girl D said that girl A and I needed to hear each other's point of view on our arguments. I did (before the bus incident) one time before snack (it was a school day).
I said "Girl A, can I talk to you? I want to hear your point of view" (not exactly those words, but you get what I mean)

She said, "I can't, snack time is happy time."

I'm thirteen, she's fourteen. Don't you think that's a little immature for her age? My "resentment" (for lack of better term) isn't purely due to the bus incident, its due to the fact that I feel I can no longer relate to her and she fails to understand my point of view. Girl B, on the other hand, I feel has a true understanding and appreciates me for who I am (similar case with girl D). We have entirely different interests, me on zombie movies (or horror), philosophy and art, her on T.V. shows, boys (sometimes) and how she hates some teachers. I feel as if I have outgrown girl A, but I want to know how she feels about our conflict to have a better understanding of what is [i]truly[/i] going on. Ranting to others helps at times, but I put them at risk of being in the middle and becoming "the messenger". I feel ranting also prevents me from acting in a mature manner instead of trying to reach out to her. I feel as if I tried to, but not hard enough. I also feel that she is not trying either. How do I find some middle ground here?


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Agree: 4,6,13,16,18,19,20,22,39,41,45: 1 point
Disagree: 1,3,10,11,14,17,27,30,32,36,38,44,47,48,49: 1 point
Score: 26


Kaybee
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23 Jan 2011, 6:35 pm

I can't remember ever having had a conflict with my friends.


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