Disliking touch?
Some families are not very 'tactile' - mine wasn't for a very long time and it is only in the last 10 years or so that the there has been this emphasis on tactile contact.
I am somewhat reluctant to be touched, but that is probably more of a psychological issue for me than anything else. I feel intruded upon and very uncomfortable when acquaintances and people I don't really 'know' touch me, or when they expect me to reciprocate.
A large part of it is culturally defined, so different nationalities have varying degrees of physical proximity and touch.
As far as I know, the British were often characterised as being quite aloof and distant from this sort of thing.
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"The power of accurate observation is called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw (Taken from someone on comp.programming)
I just tense up when touched unexpectedly, that's all. It's kind of hard when your ethnic background means people expect you to be all touchy-feely and they think you just love it...and as for reciprocating, nope. For some strange reason I just don't seem to get anything out of it. I can definitely only touch someone - other than family or close friends - if I'm attracted to them, and that's pretty much the only thing I can associate it with.
I don't mind touch; it's my hearing that's insane. I don't like the feeling of paper on my fingertips or my knees touching together. But I can't stand whistling, car brakes /acceleration, chairs scraping against the ground, bird calls, high pitch noises of any kind, some low pitch noises and such. Sorry, friend, touch isn't much of a problem here.
It depends on who is touching me, the manner in which they touch me and where I'm being touched. If it is anticipated by someone close to me, like a friend or romantic partner hugging/kissing me and I see it coming, I can mentally prepare for it and it doesn't bother me. However, if someone just comes up to me and touches me, especially if they are someone I don't feel that close to, I kind of freak out and will physically jump back. I've always been like this and when I was a kid it was a big problem - there were countless accusations by my peers that I was sexually abused (which is not true) simply because I had such a strong aversion to people touching me (especially on the arm, shoulder or hair).
It depends on several factors.
a) Expected or unexpected
b) Light or firmm touch
c) Where touched.
Being touched unexpectedly wull make me jump (except in a crowded situiatrion where you have to get used to it E.G Tube/subway/Metro train where it's like sardines in a tin) and often ask the person not to. If it';s expected and firm, OK.
Light unexpected touvh will make me yelp and turn ready to deck the little **** who did it (unless it turns out there's a reason...but i STILL dislike it.)
A light, uninvited touch on my neck or ears will make me creeped ouit, yell bluster ETC.
An expected, firm, friendly stroke to my neckl or ears will range from closing my eyes and sighing silently, to a total collapse (VERY rare) because I find this sort of touch causes an overload of pleasureable sensation. Yes, I know a pleasurable sensory overload sounds like an oxymoron, but that's how it is.
And no jokes from Trek-types about "oo-mox", please, as a Trek fan myself who knows Trek fans, I've had to be VERY careful to hide as much as I can that facet of my touch sensitivity, or get endlessly ribbed.
Julie
If I don't know you, I might tolerate a handshake, maybe. But, please, NT's, DO NOT reach over and act like we are good ole buddies.. I do not know you and you will make me FREAK!!!I jerk away and I know people think I am the rude one. But I cannot help it, I get stiff as a board and mad as hell.My space, your space. I don't understand. And I get "bent" even if my girlfriend comes up from behind and hugs me or kisses me.....NO....you gotta warn a person first! So yes, I would say I have AS (among the rest of the symptoms I seem to display!)!
I really don't like being touched unexpectadly or by surprise. It gets me a little bit anxious when that happens sometimes. I too am a little paranoid about touching other people, just because I don't want to bother them. You'd probably get a laugh if you saw me getting a massage (which has happened three times so far); I'm ticklish almost everywhere on my body! lol.
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I'm 24 years old and live in WA State. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 9. I received a BS in Psychology in 2011 and I intend to help people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, either through research, application, or both. On the ?Pursuit of Aspieness?.
Musical_Lottie
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If they are people who are used to giving lots of hugs, maybe you should try to initiate them (such as on greetings and departures).
Some of my friends are part of a rather demonstrative church group, and I've never been denied a hug from any of them.
It may be a bit awkward if you've known them for a while and suddenly start, but you should still try.
And if they aren't like that... I don't know what to suggest. (they may easily be offended by that sort of thing)
I also like firm touch, but like some of you, I hate light touch because it makes me itch. What other people consider tickling gives me a terrible sensation, and I LOATHE it even if I am laughing like anyone else would who is being tickled. I think I also dislike the idea that someone else is controlling me like a puppet to tickle and make me laugh or squirm unwillingly.
I also can be "tickled" without actually touching me. If a person makes a tickling motion within an inch of my skin without touching, I have the same reaction as I do to a light touch, even if I wasn't "aware" of it otherwise, I can still feel it. Once I was told this was "interruption of my aura" but I am not sure I buy into all that mumbo-jumbo.
Anyone else?
I know what you mean H2O, I will have a reaction even if someone makes a motion of tickling - I hate it. Tickling is actually physically painful for me, I have never liked it, though sometimes I do it myself to other people I'm close to so I suppose that makes me a bit of a hypocrite...
Does anyone else hate being touched on the head? If anyone ever reaches to pat me on the head or mess up my hair I freak out - or if I'm touched near my face like my eyes or something. I HATE going to the eye doctor because they get way to close to my eyes and it is unbearable unless I try to prepare myself for it mentally before I even go in for the eye exam!
i don't mind when someone touches my head now tapping is a different story that just ticks me off.
i don't like my stomach touched i'm to sensitive there dangit.
xemnas: hmm...
don't even think about it!!
xemnas: *grins*
also don't like to have my neck touched it makes me uncomforable.
i really don't like physical contact at all i don't like to be touched for any reason under any circumstance i just don't like it.
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"It's the song of destruction a requiem of the end" jr in xenosaga III
I have a problem with people touching me when I don't want it. I mean I had this one person to come up behind me and put and patted my on the shoulder. I turned around and basically growled Don't touch me! I have no problem with girls touching me but within reason. I have to know this girl. Now men well I can't stand any of them touching me when I haven't asked for it. I'm male but being touched like a pat on the back or an unwanted hug from one of my fellow Christains. If some one touches me for no aparent reason I'll whack them with ever I'm holding. I seem to cling to one person usually a girl who I allow to touch me but anyone else tough luck for them.
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Beauty is in the eye of beholder but to a theif beauty is money.
I'm new to this site and just discovering the possibility that I'm PDDNOS or Aspie. I'm 53 yrs old and being treated for Bipolar II. The issue of touch was one of the first things that got me thinking about this whole autism thing. As a child, I feared being hugged by relatives and would try to be out of the way when it would be likely to happen. It's definitely situational. I mean, I'm married and that's okay for the most part. But even there, there's times when my wife will just lay a hand on my leg, say when I'm driving, and it'll really bug me. But I usually don't say anything in that situation. I still generally avoid hugs; can hardly understand all the huggin and kissing when friends get together!
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