Do you wonder; is it the asperger's/autism, or is it me?

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Bloodheart
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26 Jan 2011, 5:31 pm

People can dislike you for having Asperger's as it can make you seem ignorant/rude/anti-social, it can mean you maybe don't join-in or can appear boring, you can seem strange, overly sensitive, selfish, or just generally a whole host of other negatives you get labelled with when you're not like everyone else.

My personality is loud, a little arrogant, a little bossy, a little selfish, and I have a strange sense of humour - a lot of this is a result of asperger's, strange though that may seem. For one with asperger's making me appear shy or quiet when someone then sees a small dash of my own confident or loud personality coming through it makes me seem all the more unusual [ignorance-fear-hatred], and secondly these personality traits can be seen as negative too.

So when people don't like me, how do I know if it's because of me/my personality, or because the asperger's gives people the wrong idea about me and/or they never get to know me so dislike comes from ignorance or prejudice based on what they see rather than who I am. I have seen very clear examples of people hating me without knowing me, people who I've never talked to and who don't even know my name bad-mouthing me, but in general I do wonder how much can be put down to asperger's, and how much of it is just me that people dislike.

Anyone else wonder this too?


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Last edited by Bloodheart on 26 Jan 2011, 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bonafan
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26 Jan 2011, 6:14 pm

Yeh, thats partly whats made me wait for so long before pursuing a diagnosis, I thought, and was told, its not aspergers, its just you. Its your fault that it takes ages to make friends etc....

Now I am completely unsure what is my personality and what if anything is aspergers.



Technikilor
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26 Jan 2011, 6:29 pm

I'm still not completely sure what Aspergers is. I believe I could fix myself and become normal, which sort of goes against the idea of being "hard-wired" differently.



Cicely
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27 Jan 2011, 8:07 pm

There isn't a clear line between my Asperger's and my personality. I think Asperger's has influenced my personality development, and my personality traits affect how my symptoms manifest. I don't see Asperger's as something separate from the rest of me.



thejackal221
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27 Jan 2011, 9:02 pm

I've learned that asperger's is just a way to discribe why you are the way you are. Saying "is it the asperger's or is it me" wouldn't help. Your still going to want to fix what is wrong, whether it's a syptom or not. I would just focus on being the best "you" you can be. Well everyone like you, no, but you will always find people who will have fun with you.



Moog
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27 Jan 2011, 9:14 pm

Bloodheart wrote:
So when people don't like me, how do I know if it's because of me/my personality, or because the asperger's gives people the wrong idea about me and/or they never get to know me so dislike comes from ignorance or prejudice based on what they see rather than who I am. I have seen very clear examples of people hating me without knowing me, people who I've never talked to and who don't even know my name bad-mouthing me, but in general I do wonder how much can be put down to asperger's, and how much of it is just me that people dislike.

Anyone else wonder this too?


In Buddhism, they have this concept of 'no self'. I find it very liberating.

Essentially, if people dislike 'me' it is not because Moog is inherently dislikable, whether because Moog is Moog, or Moog has Asperger's.

It would be what Moog was doing specifically that people disliked.

For example, if I punch someone in the face, it is not me that the punchee dislikes, it's the punch. If I'd thrown that punch because I was angry, the anger is not me either. If I was angry because I'd just been punched and wanted to pass it back, then that's not me either.

I hope this makes a lick of sense.

As soon as you can get at the causes and conditions that create tension or unpleasantness in your life, then you can modify things so they come up less.

I would hazard a guess that if people are taking an instant disliking to 'you' then it's probably related to non verbal communication. Perhaps you could observe what you are doing physically when you meet people.


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wefunction
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27 Jan 2011, 10:00 pm

Moog wrote:

For example, if I punch someone in the face, it is not me that the punchee dislikes, it's the punch. If I'd thrown that punch because I was angry, the anger is not me either. If I was angry because I'd just been punched and wanted to pass it back, then that's not me either.

I hope this makes a lick of sense.


It's the Buddhist Fight Club!



Moog
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27 Jan 2011, 10:11 pm

wefunction wrote:
Moog wrote:

For example, if I punch someone in the face, it is not me that the punchee dislikes, it's the punch. If I'd thrown that punch because I was angry, the anger is not me either. If I was angry because I'd just been punched and wanted to pass it back, then that's not me either.

I hope this makes a lick of sense.


It's the Buddhist Fight Club!


I am Jack's sense that perhaps a better example might have been a good idea. :lol:


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