What's on your mind right now?

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Wondering if I should go out and do something, eating and my guts hurt.

Seeing people who shoot themselves in the foot by having no tact complain about others not wanting to tolerate it is always funny.

With a funny dream about growing flowers that apparently gives birth to insects similar to bees.

Some pod hatched and then the bee like insect starts chasing me. I was a man, apparently.



Then I just woke up in the middle of the night. Needing to go to the bathroom.

With symptoms similar to heart burn.
I don't feel hungry or wanting to eat.
It's equally annoying as going to the bathroom.

At least I can do something about that.
But not this one. Everytime.
Even if I pretend this is hunger and try to appease it.
It's still the same acidic like annoyance.


This happens several times a week.
I hate it.

Maybe I already had this around the time when I had this stupid sniffles that do not go away. Namely I was 5.
I won't be surprised if it's the cause of it.

But this symptom was ignorable.
Just as did my parents, while they tried bringing me to a doctor about it one time...

Yet it seem that it wasn't solved because I spent most of my time managing emotions.

Only for a stupid belief for them to take away my gifts and savings.
Believing having that much amount of money made me sick.

The heck those two!? Yeah, they're my parents.
But I ignored them, just as I try ignore my feelings and overwhelming frustration.

Got already enough trouble for such an amount of time.
Not that they'd understand anyway or do anything about it.

Fast forward it's been over 20 years.
Only difference is that my back also aches as well.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Sadness over the departure of Salad.

Wanting to play World of Warcraft once again, over a decade since I last played, so I can have fun, chill and get into some shenanigans with people over shared goals once more.

Living like a hermit these past few years has really sucked. Half a year ago my selective mutism regression went to a full 100% for a whole month, and two days ago I had a dream where I was stuck fully mute again.

Not the worst of dreams, most definitely not into the nightmare category, but it certainly felt pretty bad. Poked me right in the feels right when I've been struggling to get myself to voicechat for the first time with some new friends over Discord this past month.

Manual labor sounds like building trades, but the official definition doesn't specify

It doesn't say if Lot Attendant is manual labor

But Lot Attendant is unskilled labor

Precious lil "people"

Same thing over and over again

Pushing carts

Worried about the long term veterinary conditions

Side effects

But not many jobs good for health

Doctors work 24 hour shifts, with contagious diseases

But monopolistic competition

At work, Marie had the nerve to call me on the walkie talkie while I was at break, three times

That is not even legal

Passive aggressive

She's so uppity

But , boundaries

And when the b***h does call me, it's the slightest BS

Like getting propane

Loser job

To venture out or not..

Which movie I may go see later.

I've already seen A Quiet Place Part II, so that's out of the question.

I may need to go quiet again.

Moll Flanders

I'm at my wit's end with it. I can't remember how I managed to finish it in University because it's insufferable.

I think I’m going to give my therapist one more chance, and if nothing actually beneficial happens or seems planned to happen, I’m done. Being reminded how much he too overestimates me sealed the deal (and it really isn’t that I just underestimate myself too much, it’s things like him saying I could work a retail job because I’d been able to socialize adequately with someone at some sort of gathering (don’t remember what) for half an hour. Yeah, half an hour, and I need days to recover, no one paying me for anything is going to allow that.).