My brother's obituary does not say he picked on his autistic sister as a kid, and as an adult couldn't be arsed to set it right. Couldn't be arsed to say, on his death bed, "tell my sister I love her." That's not in his obituary, for some reason.
Everyone lauding him in their memories knows he picked on his autistic sister, and they found him funny.
The only upside is that the platitudes and lies they tell each other about me, when I'm dead, will fool nobody. They will all know it's all BS. No, you do not have fond memories, and no, you will not remember me forever, and no, you didn't think I was a funny and kind person. You thought I was ridiculous and you didn't give me a moment's thought until my sister told you I was dead.