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katzefrau
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22 Feb 2011, 11:55 pm

i can't tell when someone is telling the truth or not. i also knew a pathological liar and determining that was a logic puzzle and took a long time. then i realized nothing he said was true. but in the beginning i did as you, doubting my memory (which is unreliable often anyway) when he said we had known each other before and i did not think it was so.

i don't really know how to answer the question because like someone said above i long ago (sadly) learned to lean toward doubt. but i am very black and white about it and if someone ever lies (except for little things very obviously done to spare feelings such as "you look nice" if someone asks "how do i look?") i do not trust them at all. and i twist myself up in knots trying to figure out why someone would do it. in that sense i am naive. i have a lot of trouble believing that anyone would lie casually or without being torn up about it.


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y-pod
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23 Feb 2011, 1:39 am

I'm naturally suspicious, so I never believe anyone easily. Sure for small stuff they tell me that doesn't really matter I'll accept without much question. For anything big and important it's nearly impossible to trick me. Although sometimes I have problem believing genuinely honest people. Like "Really? You're just gonna do this for me, free of charge, purely out of the goodness of your heart?" Even with enough evidence showing they're honest sometimes I still feel they're faking it. :D



Aimless
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23 Feb 2011, 5:45 am

This very much describes me. When we were young my younger brother used to tell me stuff (interesting "facts") just so he could mock me for believing it. If it sounds logically plausible I will believe it. My son's father is a pathological liar. Even after ample evidence of this I tended to believe the excuses he gave for his behavior. I have been taken advantage of time and time again because of this inability to spot a liar.



Zexion
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23 Feb 2011, 6:09 am

I'm pretty naive as well.



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23 Feb 2011, 7:53 am

There are two people inside of me. The person that has been shaped by my experiences and the person that I was born.

The person I was born.
I approach people and circumstances with the trust of a 5 year old. That is my natural state of being. I am still devastated, sad and crushed when I sense I have been tricked, been used, or just bought into something less than ingenuous. It doesn't matter how many times I have been tricked I still come to each moment in my life with the hope this is ok, this is real, all of the past is gone and I'm safe. I unconditionally trust and forgive without learning my lesson.

The person shaped by my experiences.
I grew up in a household where hyper vigilance was needed to maintain any degree of order in my head. All of the people around me were in a constant fight with the universe. Nothing was easy or peaceful or relaxed. It was all under pressure. I tried to go to wonderland but my sensory overload kept my head just turning back and forth at the next loud noise. I learned to read people to survive. If I didn't pay attention I might not duck in time. I can sense when someone is lying...almost physically sense it. I can sense a change in tone. I can read a bite here or a bite there, a slight brag hidden in a string of humble words. I can sense anxious, sad, annoyed, and something happens to me immediately. I can sense it here in the forums when someone is annoyed or setting someone straight and hear the tone in their words.

But, I am one person. I have learned the world doesn't tell the truth. The world thinks if it can package it up properly that anything can get by. People feel they are believable and do package things up in order to use others to get what they want done. But, the conflict inside me is I can't control the reaction of the person I was born. She is always surprised, by every lie by every disingenuous action, by every mean word, by every biting tongue, by anything that isn't kind and true. She isn't five anymore so it wants to manifest itself in angry and mistrusting but really it is she is afraid. She knows how being this innocent is being too vulnerable in this cold hard world.

Accept your innocence and don't let the world ruin it. Learn to protect yourself and let the world learn its own lessons.